Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Tao wrote:

bobtheenchantedone wrote:"On the third day after Christmas my mother caught the croup. And so I killed the three french hens and made some chicken soup."

Heh, fitting statement as yesterday was the third day of Christmas. The twelve days of Christmas start on the 25th, they don't end on it, as some believe.

Ha! I didn't think to check which day of Christmas it was yesterday. Awesome.

Now, let's see... dang, I don't think there's anything else in the song that someone could stumble upon. Most of them involve killing little birds (or them dying by themselves) and sending a lot of people through the mail. Also, falling in love with a drummer boy. Or at least keeping him.

Maybe if someone put on rubber gloves...

Maybe someone could end up with green fingers. But I've always wondered - if you have five golden rings, what fingers are you wearing them on? And why all five at once?

bobtheenchantedone wrote:But I've always wondered - if you have five golden rings, what fingers are you wearing them on? And why all five at once?

If they're all on the same hand, that's gotta be horribly uncomfortable.

thebigcheese wrote:

bobtheenchantedone wrote:But I've always wondered - if you have five golden rings, what fingers are you wearing them on? And why all five at once?

If they're all on the same hand, that's gotta be horribly uncomfortable.

Anger management? History of punching things/fist clenching? Though I wouldn't go with gold for that...

GAH! For some reason, my brothers (grown men in their 30's) still think it's funny to pull on my hair. Time to grow up, guys...

Warning: bra story.

I decided it was time to get some new ones today, so I started wandering the aisles in Wal-Mart. Only I didn't see any size A. One here, one there maybe, but just racks upon racks of everything else. As if I'm not self-concious enough about being flat - I need reminders that I'm the only one. And then I found where the put them all.

On the endcap next to the little girl's section.

Apparently they think that anyone my size should be a 12 year old girl. And just to drive in the nail, most of them were from a brand entitled "Sweet Nothings".

I hate you, Wal-Mart.

this reminds me of Shakira's pride in her self-proclaimed humble breasts

LOL. All I know is that my husband and I haven't stopped laughing yet. I mean, honestly. Who named that?

I think I must just be hostage to vivid scary dreams this week. I'm terrified to prepare my Sunday School lesson in case I do the wrong one! (On the first week of the year.) It's always possible that the SS Pres will have wanted the lesson to be on Europe. And I am'nt prepared for that!

C is for wrote:I think I must just be hostage to vivid scary dreams this week. I'm terrified to prepare my Sunday School lesson in case I do the wrong one! (On the first week of the year.) It's always possible that the SS Pres will have wanted the lesson to be on Europe. And I am'nt prepared for that!

Wait, I thought the first Sunday of the year was always about the development of landscape painting in Europe. You aren't ready to teach that?

C is for wrote:I think I must just be hostage to vivid scary dreams this week. I'm terrified to prepare my Sunday School lesson in case I do the wrong one! (On the first week of the year.) It's always possible that the SS Pres will have wanted the lesson to be on Europe. And I am'nt prepared for that!

Ah, teacher's paranoia. I wish mine would stay in my dreams. Every single week, I show up at church feeling like "OH MY GOSH, I THINK THIS IS MY WEEK TO TEACH, AND I HAVEN'T PREPARED ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!"

Then I stop and think for a second...and realize that, "Oh wait, we taught last week!" Phew!

I have dreams that I forget that class has started, that I missed my scheduled finals time, that I forgot completely about a class, that I don't have the book I need to do a huge assignment, and the like ALL THE TIME.

I've never had a dream in which I've felt nervous or anxious.

happy new year

I just woke up an entire household. Screaming. At the mouse that was ran past my feet. When I woke up at 3am to drive back to Provo

Happy new year! I asked my 2yo nephew yesterday morning what time it was, because he was playing with my watch, and he goes, "It's happy new year!"

CRAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wait...I mean, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I just opened this forum (well, "just" being interpreted as 30+ minutes ago) for the first time in a week and a half. I'm slightly overwhelmed by the size of it.

Good! Always nice to come back to a vibrant and live community. Wouldn't you be disappointed if you came to a few or no updated threads?