Babies

[Yarjka]

We had planned to do a natural birth - we did the Hypnobirthing classes (Marie Mongan method), which I can tell you more about if you're interested. We labored at home for a good 16 hours before going into the hospital - my wife was so relaxed, they didn't believe that her water had broken. After checking her, they realized that the baby would indeed be coming soon, and they admitted her. The worst part of the birth was dealing with that first nurse, who treated my wife like she was some immature idiot who doesn't know what's going on. She spoke down to us and said things like "Oh, you'll never be able to do this without the epidural" and other unhelpful things.

However, after monitoring the heartrate of the fetus, an epidural was recommended and we decided to accept. This turned out to be the best decision we made. I've heard some horror stories about epidurals, but we had a most pleasant experience. The needle wasn't really that large, and it helped my wife relax at a time when she was beginning to get super nervous and scared. It also brought great relief from the pain she was beginning to feel.

Other than that first nurse, everyone at the hospital was very nice. I know that it's different for everyone, but my wife's father was a doctor, so she grew up around hospitals and feels very comfortable in them, so for us, it made sense to give birth at a hospital. Other people get freaked out just walking into a hospital, and I really feel that for them, a home birth with a midwife would probably be a much better experience.

After the birth, my wife and I stayed in the hospital for another two nights (we could have left after one, but we were enjoying it there). We shared a room with another couple, which was pretty annoying, as the baby crying would wake up the whole room. But, overall, it was nice to have the constant care of the nurses, who helped a lot with helping us breastfeed and care for the baby.

As for the pain, my wife had some particularly bad tearing as well as a minor irritation of the stitches -- but a minor irritation down there is anything but minor, and it was causing her great pain anytime she sat down. Everything she did was painful -- one thing she found helped a lot was dampening maxipads in water and freezing them to use as icepacks. This was a trick the nurses had taught us at the hospital.

Add to this pain the trouble of breastfeeding, which the baby demands (seriously, demands is not a strong enough word) every two hours, and we're talking about a significant difficulty (since sitting was almost unbearable for my wife due to the stitches). My wife says this was harder than the pregnancy and delivery (however, my wife had a really easy pregnancy -- she never vomited (except for when she had swine flu, but that's a different matter)). I should add that there was also the issue of mastitis and badly cracked nipples (perhaps we're getting too graphic now??) ... let's just say breastfeeding was more painful that it needed to be, and there's a lot of pressure from nurses to continue no matter the pain. We had not been warned of any of this before hand. People had just said things like "oh, it's hard, but you get over it pretty soon." I wish we had been more prepared for the true difficulty of it. With the mastitis, my wife wasn't feeling 100% again until a good three months after giving birth.

But, if there's one thing I've learned through the whole process it's that everyone's experiences are unique. Some people talk about how difficult the first trimester is, whereas for us, that was by far the easiest part of it all. Other people talk about how they were back on their feet in a couple of days after giving birth. We certainly didn't experience that. The main thing is to just be prepared for complications at every step of the way, know what your options are, and be ready to enjoy whatever comes your way.

[TheAnswerIs42]

I'm with Dragon Lady. In fact, it looks like we used the same midwives . I'm a "midwife in the hospital" lady all the way, and a Hypnobirthing convert just like Yarjka. LOVE Hypnobirthing! Both of mine were natural, and while the tear tood a bit to heal the first time, I was just fine once the swelling went down with the second baby (a day or two).

And Dragon Lady - you probably could have eaten at the beginning and been fine, but we snuck food to defy the hospital and I threw up. I think it is our body's way of saying "I have a big enough job to do right now, I refuse to waste time digesting this food!" or something. But I only labor for 6 hours each time, so maybe that's just me. But after laboring in the tub, I was leaning on my husband too - laboring wears a body out, no matter how you slice it. Not to discount that going without food made it worse for you - I'm sure it did- but . . . just to point out that you'd probably still be exhausted.

[Dragon Lady]

Agreed. Breastfeeding is harder than anyone ever told me. If you plan on breastfeeding, I recommend making sure you get a lactation consultant at the hospital, and if you still have problems, cough up the cash to have one come to your house and help out. Night and day difference, let me tell you.

Also, I did Hypnobirthing, too. Join the bandwagon! If you want to go natural, even if only for part of your labor, I would highly recommend taking _some_ sort of class, whether it be Hypnobirthing, Hypnobabies or Lamaze.

@42, oh I have no doubt that my body would have been exhausted anyway. But I literally couldn't stand up. I wasn't just leaning on Yellow. He was supporting all of my weight. When I say I don't do well without food, I mean that if I skip a meal, I end up sick and laying on the couch out of weakness. Fast Sundays are by far not my favorite day in the world. I never go 24-hours (the last time I tried that I barely could walk to the table for dinner). I was bitterly disappointed when I stopped breastfeeding and had to start fasting again. First time in about 2 years. We snuck in food, too. My midwife told me, "If I don't see it and the nurses don't see it, you didn't eat it." Which was wonderful. But they were only snacks. A few cheese sticks and a yogurt. Not good enough for me. And honestly, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if I did throw up during labor. But I'm an experienced pro at throwing up, so I don't think it would phase me much.

During my entire labor I craved a turkey and swiss sandwich like none other. I think my midwife (and husband and mother, and all the nurses) got sick me asking for one. I knew they wouldn't give me one. But man I wanted it so bad. I will definitely have some of those packed in my next labor.

[krebscout]

But don't be scared of breastfeeding! It's awesome, and convenient, and free, and it helps you lose weight, and it's really, really good for your baby.

I never had much trouble with it at all. It takes me about a week to build up sufficient callouses, but after that I don't feel a thing. I've never been a very graceful nurser; my family teases me about the position I use, but it works for me. Never had an infection or any cracking or bleeding. Just had the nurses help me the first time or two to make sure I was doing it right, and it was all good from there. Definitely time consuming, though.

I also never took any birthing classes or anything. I'm the kind of person who can get psyched out if I know too much or think about it too much ahead of time. I read a few books, but talking to my doctor was probably all the preparation I needed.

I think what I'm trying to say is: if you and your husband and the Lord feel ready for you guys to start a family, go for the gold. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Can I say that?

[TheAnswerIs42]

Breastfeeding kid #1 was really hard - no matter what we tried, he couldn't latch on right, and it would take 20-40 minutes to get him to START eating each time (during which time he is screaming for hunger). But then he had trouble learning how to sleep well, learning how to crawl, learning how to walk, and so now I know it was just he's a special guy like that.

Baby #2 taught me that krebscout is right. Breastfeeding can be the easiest, most convenient, most awesome thing in the world when you don't have a baby who can't figure it out (or mastitis, or whatever other horror stories abound.) But I never did get the hang of pumping, so if I had to take classes I couldn't have done it.