Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Well, I got my home teachers to give me a blessing, and it essentially boils down to "start preparing anyways, and you'll figure it out eventually.'

And a quote that's funnier in context but this thread reminded me of: here.

We talk outside this board of course, but I am impressed to say (sounds pompous, but it's true), that if this is the man you're meant to marry, he'll wait six months, a year, whatever for you. It seems longer now when you have only one relationship (itself) to compare it to. Not saying you won't marry him, or that you won't be engaged the moment he steps off the plane (I'd be thrilled; he seems great); just that life is long and your adult life has been short.

Yeah. He's just not the kind of person who handles being single well, you know? And even if he did wait, I'd feel bad doing that to him, it would be harder for him than for me, and it is hard. And the thing is, I don't believe in "well if he loves you/if it's meant to be, it will work." I think the vast majority of real, valid relationships are dependent on circumstance.

It would certainly help to discuss this with him. [/Captain Obvious] And I think your conclusion is right.

I will say, though, that if he can handle being functionally single for two years as a missionary, I would hope that he could handle being functionally single for two months while you were a missionary. If it gets long, then yeah, I could understand how it would be hard.

However, I still stand by my suggestion to purge yourself of the desire to make the decision and any worries you have about it for long enough for the initial shock to wear off.

yayfulness wrote:It would certainly help to discuss this with him. [/Captain Obvious] And I think your conclusion is right.

I will say, though, that if he can handle being functionally single for two years as a missionary, I would hope that he could handle being functionally single for two months while you were a missionary. If it gets long, then yeah, I could understand how it would be hard.

However, I still stand by my suggestion to purge yourself of the desire to make the decision and any worries you have about it for long enough for the initial shock to wear off.

If I could discuss this with him, I think I'd have it figured out by now. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if the announcement had been made in April instead of October, I'd already have my papers in.

But if I sent a letter TOMORROW, I wouldn't hear back for THREE WEEKS. And I do not HAVE three WEEKS. Plus, I don't want to send a letter tomorrow, I'm sure I'll have a lot more thoughts by next Sunday when I write my regular letter, and I don't want to send a letter in my initial panic and then regret anything I say.

The conclusion I've reached at the moment is to start preparing my papers now, especially as far as medical and whatnot goes, but still keep looking for an answer for the next month or two.

And yeah, I'd be fine with him being single for two months. I just don't want to leave sometime after winter semester and have it be six months. And I don't want the timing to be such that I can't finish this winter semester OR start during the fall semester around when I'd get back, since adding a mission to my post-bachelor plans is squeezing things enough without adding ANOTHER semester of school I'd be missing.

Your mission papers will take close to three weeks to complete anyway. I think it makes complete sense to do what you're doing--start your papers, but don't make a final decision until you know for certain. Also, don't forget that HE might already be thinking about the possibility of you serving a mission. It's not like he didn't hear the announcement. So you might hear his thoughts sooner than you expect.

If you turn in your papers by the end of October, you'll probably leave sometime during January or February. Turn them in by the end of November, and you'll probably leave during February or March; even if you wait six months, you'll leave during May. So... yeah, having written that and done some quick math, I can see why you'd worry.

On the other hand, it looks like you can't make a decision for a while still. So don't. And don't try. Stress can interfere both with the Spirit and with your judgment. And in my experience, asking the Lord for answers when you still don't have all the facts can lead to confusing or even misleading answers. (Not that God ever misleads us, but without all the facts, our own interpretations can become very skewed.)

yayfulness wrote:Your mission papers will take close to three weeks to complete anyway. I think it makes complete sense to do what you're doing--start your papers, but don't make a final decision until you know for certain. Also, don't forget that HE might already be thinking about the possibility of you serving a mission. It's not like he didn't hear the announcement. So you might hear his thoughts sooner than you expect.

If you turn in your papers by the end of October, you'll probably leave sometime during January or February. Turn them in by the end of November, and you'll probably leave during February or March; even if you wait six months, you'll leave during May. So... yeah, having written that and done some quick math, I can see why you'd worry.

On the other hand, it looks like you can't make a decision for a while still. So don't. And don't try. Stress can interfere both with the Spirit and with your judgment. And in my experience, asking the Lord for answers when you still don't have all the facts can lead to confusing or even misleading answers. (Not that God ever misleads us, but without all the facts, our own interpretations can become very skewed.)

That's good advice. And yeah, I don't want to leave after March.

So...anyone know any good dentists in Provo? Haha

There's a place right by where I live that I think my brother went to; no word on the quality.

I love my dentist. I think his name is Dr. Robinson (but I could be wrong) but his office is by the Quarry and the dollar theater. Admittedly I have no idea on how much he charges, as he did my work for free when I lost a filling and had no income beyond making my rent payment each month.

whatever you do, don't go to dr. pinegar. Worst crown-sealer ever.

Zedability wrote:

yayfulness wrote:It would certainly help to discuss this with him. [/Captain Obvious] And I think your conclusion is right.

I will say, though, that if he can handle being functionally single for two years as a missionary, I would hope that he could handle being functionally single for two months while you were a missionary. If it gets long, then yeah, I could understand how it would be hard.

However, I still stand by my suggestion to purge yourself of the desire to make the decision and any worries you have about it for long enough for the initial shock to wear off.

But if I sent a letter TOMORROW, I wouldn't hear back for THREE WEEKS. And I do not HAVE three WEEKS.

Hopefully I'm not evil if this made me smile. But you have sooo many weeks, Zed! Three hundred twelve weeks til you're my age!

Portia wrote:

Zedability wrote:

yayfulness wrote:It would certainly help to discuss this with him. [/Captain Obvious] And I think your conclusion is right.

I will say, though, that if he can handle being functionally single for two years as a missionary, I would hope that he could handle being functionally single for two months while you were a missionary. If it gets long, then yeah, I could understand how it would be hard.

However, I still stand by my suggestion to purge yourself of the desire to make the decision and any worries you have about it for long enough for the initial shock to wear off.

But if I sent a letter TOMORROW, I wouldn't hear back for THREE WEEKS. And I do not HAVE three WEEKS.

Hopefully I'm not evil if this made me smile. But you have sooo many weeks, Zed! Three hundred twelve weeks til you're my age!

You may be evil. I want to leave before March! Haha

Zedability wrote:

Portia wrote:

Zedability wrote:But if I sent a letter TOMORROW, I wouldn't hear back for THREE WEEKS. And I do not HAVE three WEEKS.

Hopefully I'm not evil if this made me smile. But you have sooo many weeks, Zed! Three hundred twelve weeks til you're my age!

You may be evil. I want to leave before March! Haha

I prefer to think of it as "older and wiser." (Telling you what to dooo...)

Might I point out, ever so gently, that all mission prep timelines are based on how things worked before The Big Announcement, and that, with the upcoming sudden influx of missionaries, we honestly don't know what the average time for paperwork processing / waiting time for a start date is going to be? (But do not interpret this as a cue to panic, Zed! Just as a reminder that you can't always plan as much as you think you can.)

Katya wrote:Might I point out, ever so gently, that all mission prep timelines are based on how things worked before The Big Announcement, and that, with the upcoming sudden influx of missionaries, we honestly don't know what the average time for paperwork processing / waiting time for a start date is going to be? (But do not interpret this as a cue to panic, Zed! Just as a reminder that you can't always plan as much as you think you can.)

This reminds me of when I went on a Study Abroad at Zed's age, and that was the year one needed a passport to visit Canada/Mexico. My application took MONTHS where before it had taken a week or two. I missed my initial flight. The airline wouldn't refund the money. (!) There was much screaming and crying and calling of parents on landlines. So considering your home ward is in another country, there is certainly a possibility of delays. And what if Elder X decides to extend his mission? That's what my boyfriend did at the time long before I knew him. The words of my mother come to mind "plan for the worst, hope for the best."

Portia wrote:I prefer to think of it as "older and wiser." (Telling you what to dooo...)

I don't think older automatically means wiser. (And you have to believe me, because I'm older than you and therefore wiser. )

Katya wrote:

Portia wrote:I prefer to think of it as "older and wiser." (Telling you what to dooo...)

I don't think older automatically means wiser. (And you have to believe me, because I'm older than you and therefore wiser. )

There's a logical fallacy in there somewhere! And Katya, I MUST GET MARRIED AND GET A MASTER'S AND REPRODUCE BEFORE THIRTY OR I WILL DIE.

Zedability wrote:So...anyone know any good dentists in Provo? Haha

Dr. David G. Lee (on Freedom blvd in Provo). They were extremely kind (their receptionist is the nicest person I've ever met), never hassled me about insurance, always told me what everything was going to cost before they did it, and they were very understanding and not pushy when I kept putting off having my wisdom teeth out because I couldn't afford it. Also, you get a discount if you pay with cash/check. And they have a small art gallery attached to their office you can look at while you wait.

Ditto for Dr. Lee.