Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:

Dead Cat wrote:Gio, what in the name of sanity have you done to your avatar?

Tell me I'm pretty.

Fine. You are Mr. Prettylicious. Now where is Avatar Jake and who have you replaced him with?

This is Hillary Clinton, from a newspaper article I saw about ...4 years ago? It's what image came up when I did a search for "Giovanni Schwartz" because I uploaded it to my Giovanni Schwartz flickr account or something.

Great, I can't recognize Hillary Clinton... It's still weird for an avatar, but I guess it makes some sort of sense, especially after Marduk took Che Guevara (who I would not recognize either, if it weren't for it being his avatar for how many years).

Today I explained to some new friends out here why Mormons don't drink tea, that caffeine isn't actually forbidden despite what their high school friends had said, and I even told the story about how Joseph Smith and the other men were always spitting tobacco and Emma Smith wanted them to stop and thus the Word of Wisdom was born. It was fun to talk about this stuff, even if I gave an incredibly shortened explanation.

That was probably the most common explanation I gave in high school for any Mormon principle. I'd have to say on a bi-monthly basis it came up...

Tally M. wrote:That was probably the most common explanation I gave in high school for any Mormon principle. I'd have to say on a bi-monthly basis it came up...

Can I ask where you grew up? I think in my suburban Texas town there were enough Mormons that people knew a little about us, and there were enough other Christian churches around that no one cared too much (or thought we were evil, whichever). But I don't think I even knew the tobacco story until relatively late! What a great story.

C is for wrote:I think I'm about to tackle the bathroom. I'm trying to talk myself into it, but I'm really scared, on account of the mold and grime of who knows how many girls. grosssss this is why cleaning checks aren't bad. neither are people who actually clean up after themselves before they move out, but that's TOTALLY IRRELEVANT.

May or may not have had a crying jag in the University Mall due to this very problem. I've contemplated getting an apartment, but considering I have a large room in an immaculate house minutes from interesting canyons, bookstores, and restaurants, I just don't think I can live with disgusting roommates again. Ever. I think I will live at home, by myself, or with a husband for the rest of my days.

Unfortunately, my dad appears to be deeply, diagnosably depressed, and has let my childhood home go to pot. I wouldn't consider myself a neat freak (my papers from class tend to be shoved in whatever binder I happen to have, never to be seen again), but for the love, scrub your pans and clean your hair from the drain. Apparently the fact that I don't cook is a plus in my boyfriend's book, haha, for this reason.

mic0 wrote:

Tally M. wrote:That was probably the most common explanation I gave in high school for any Mormon principle. I'd have to say on a bi-monthly basis it came up...

Can I ask where you grew up? I think in my suburban Texas town there were enough Mormons that people knew a little about us, and there were enough other Christian churches around that no one cared too much (or thought we were evil, whichever). But I don't think I even knew the tobacco story until relatively late! What a great story.

I grew up in the Midwest (which, of course is a fairly large area, but I don't really feel like narrowing it down more than I did talking about the weather). There was actually a church in our area that rather actively preached against our religion, and the sad thing was, I was good friends with a couple of them. It was really difficult to have any religious conversation with them.

One of my best friends in high school was like that. Whenever religion came up she would literally say, "Your church was founded by Satan and you're going to hell." Thanks, I respect your deeply held beliefs too.

It was really hard this past summer for me when one of my friends mentioned some religious questions he'd had. I knew the answers--they were in the Book of Mormon--but he refused to accept that it could even partially be true.

I feel like that's like making a straight-up anti-Semitic remark to your Jewish best friend. "Those crazy usurious Jews have taken over the government! So, 30 Rock, your place or mine?"

on the plus side, I really like my new apartment. my roommates are nice and inclusive and the ward is super friendly.

on the minus side, (excluding the icky bathroom and carpets) there's a boy in the ward whom I utterly humiliated several months ago, and I was kind of hoping never to see him again.

the worst part is, the very next day after said humiliation I had a meeting with someone and he said, "I have someone for you to date" and it was that guy! I gratefully declined at the time.

but what I'm saying is this could be a romantic comedy in the making.

and I wasn't planning on telling that part (the first sentence was all) but sometimes the blank screen waiting to be typed on gets the better of me.

‎1 And it came to pass that many great waters began to fall from the heavens.
2 And it came to pass that I did greatly desire to bring with me an umbrella to the meeting of the church.
3 Nevertheless, having lived in Arizona for the majority of my days, I did greatly fear that the people thereof wouldst not understand the etiquette of umbrella use.
4 For behold, I do desire to leave my umbrella by the front door to dry.
5 But if the front door becomes the drying place of my umbrella, behold, I greatly fear that the people of the church would not understand umbrella etiquette, yea, even so great was my fear that is would end up in the lost and found that I did not bring it.
6 Yea, the majority of my days having been spent in Arizona, I do verily comprehend that the lost and found is roughly equivalent to a bucket labeled "free" at the Center of Missionary Training, that is to say, there is nothing in it for long.
7 Therefore, I have no umbrella for the meeting of the church. Yea, the very waters of the heavens shall fall on my head and soak my clothing. Nevertheless, I shall go and do as the Lord commands, even as my father Nephi.

8 But behold the greatness of our God!
9 For the rains did stop, even as I set forth to depart for the tabernacle of the Lord.
10 Yea, how great is the mercy of out Lord.
11 For even as I depart and the rain stops, I shall praise our God and his greatness all the days of my life.

Ah, the chorus of doggy whines above my head... (no, I'm not letting you out of your crates yet!)

Portia wrote:I feel like that's like making a straight-up anti-Semitic remark to your Jewish best friend. "Those crazy usurious Jews have taken over the government! So, 30 Rock, your place or mine?"

We'd probably be in a better place financially if that were the case. Bring on the Jews!

How Not To Go To Bed On Time: Play Civilization.

mic0 wrote:How Not To Go To Bed On Time: Play Civilization.

I banned myself from ever playing that game again about five or six years ago for that exact reason.

Based on that logic, I should ban myself from Facebook and homework.

Which civilization? I just got 5, and I like it a lot. But I'm a little played out with it right now, too.

After suffering through my first day-long debilitating migraine, I woke up this morning quite happy to discover it was gone.