Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Posted: **Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:23 pm**

Woah. This topic is still around?

I would like to be a big tasty muffin. Like, the ones that taste good.

Posted: **Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:28 pm**

Fredjikrang wrote:Woah. This topic is still around?

I would like to be a big tasty muffin. Like, the ones that taste good.

Specific, mate. We'd like specifics.

Posted: **Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:07 pm**

You sohuld probably pick one of the ones you were deciding from before. I enjoy reading back through the old titles I've bestowed on people and remembering why Each one was earned.

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:47 am**

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:President: Me
Secretary of defense, including animal training division (Specifically tunnel worms and dark chipmunks): Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of Nicknames: bobtheenchantedone
Secretary of Martian Affairs, Mars office (permanently): Fredjikrang
Secretary of the Arts: Foreman and Claudio
Secreatary of Wizard-Muggle relations: Niffler
Boss of the CIA: Hobbes
Boss of the FBI: bobtheenchantedone (again)
The entire parliament plus the queen: Portia
On Mars with Fred: Benvolio
Something with squirrels (and still goats, but only the cute ones): Random
Secretary of Commerce, Mars Divison: Nanti-SARRMM
Mayor of Voolah (our Martian capitol): Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of Transportation (specifically in charge of doubling the speed limits in Canada and Alaska): 727
Secretary of foreign affairs: chillygator
Distributor of all things tasty (mainly Filiberto's and Big Jud's): Goober
Secretary of Book Reading: yellow m&m
Secretary of Hostility (Dead division (the government has hitmen for those upstart communist leaders, right?)): D'artnagan (or something like that)
Secretary of Famous People?: Craig Jessop, even though he never wanted to be nominated for the position.
Secretary of fake swear words: Wisteria
A Muffin (flavor yet to be decided, but up between blueberry, lemon poppyseed , or banana nut): Fredjikrang
Co-Chairpeople of the Board Bounty Hunter association (BBHA, for short): Hobbes
Keeper of Fred: bobtheenchantedone
Public Relations person (And quing of brownosing): Werf Must
Secretary of causing intense discussions in reader respone: vorpal blade
Close runner-up to vorpal blade: Imogen
Secretary of all things random and off topic, pictures division: orb360
Secretary of all things random and off topic, obscure sight links division: Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of missionary relations: Craig
Secretary of alter egos that we disliked at first, but now are near and dear to us: SWKT Parachuter
Secretary of insanely peppy alter egos: sqrt(-1)

Dear Fred,

Did you decide what flavor of muffin you are yet?

Yours truly,
Giovanni

I like how on that HUGE list of officials, I'm not on there.

I love how I'm not anything in life in general. It sucks being an average Joe... well Jane or whatever.

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:58 am**

xkcd *** wrote: I like how on that HUGE list of officials, I'm not on there.

I love how I'm not anything in life in general. It sucks being an average Joe... well Jane or whatever.

You need but ask Giovanni and he'll give you a position.

Also, I know what your title is now Giovanni, The President!

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:25 am**

Giovanni Schwartz wrote: Secretary of Hostility (Dead division (the government has hitmen for those upstart communist leaders, right?)): D'artnagan (or something like that)

Hitmen? Hitmen? You clearly do not understand me Giovanni. Hitmen are what they are expecting. For them, it is the norm. So, one we need to stop pandering to them, and not worry about the UN, Nato or whomever else, and just start nuking the whole middle east, Israel included. Then, when they're all dead, we'll issue false reports that it was actually suicide bombers armed with nukes. We'll also start sending our homeless there to be productive and claim that barren wasteland for ourselves.

And for those who we don't want to eliminate right out, we can use particle accelerators to make every atom that composes their very being feel arduous pain. It'd be better than Gitmo, and best of all, they won't be able to prove a thing against us.

Now all we need to do to make you win is to circulate rumors that McCain and Obama are at each others throats, and increase hostilities so much until both parties start arming themselves and taking pot shots at the other. Ingenious!

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:32 am**

Umm... Giovanni. I think you have doomed us all.

I also think Orb needs a responsibility too.

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:34 am**

D'artagnan wrote:
Giovanni Schwartz wrote: Secretary of Hostility (Dead division (the government has hitmen for those upstart communist leaders, right?)): D'artnagan (or something like that)
Hitmen? Hitmen? You clearly do not understand me Giovanni. Hitmen are what they are expecting. For them, it is the norm. So, one we need to stop pandering to them, and not worry about the UN, Nato or whomever else, and just start nuking the whole middle east, Israel included. Then, when they're all dead, we'll issue false reports that it was actually suicide bombers armed with nukes. We'll also start sending our homeless there to be productive and claim that barren wasteland for ourselves.

And for those who we don't want to eliminate right out, we can use particle accelerators to make every atom that composes their very being feel arduous pain. It'd be better than Gitmo, and best of all, they won't be able to prove a thing against us.

Now all we need to do to make you win is to circulate rumors that McCain and Obama are at each others throats, and increase hostilities so much until both parties start arming themselves and taking pot shots at the other. Ingenious!

D'artagnan (Proper Noun): some bloodthirsty crazy dude in seat 12A

Posted: **Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:44 am**

orb360 wrote: D'artagnan (Proper Noun): some bloodthirsty crazy dude in seat 12A

I have a dictionary definition? Good. More people will fear me that way. The poll numbers will increase now if everyone believes that you have a tight leash on Giovanni.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:00 pm**

President: Me
Secretary of defense, including animal training division (Specifically tunnel worms and dark chipmunks): Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of Nicknames: bobtheenchantedone
Secretary of Martian Affairs, Mars office (permanently): Fredjikrang
Secretary of the Arts: Foreman and Claudio
Secreatary of Wizard-Muggle relations: Niffler
Boss of the CIA: Hobbes
Boss of the FBI: bobtheenchantedone (again)
The entire parliament plus the queen: Portia
On Mars with Fred: Benvolio
Something with squirrels (and still goats, but only the cute ones): Random
Secretary of Commerce, Mars Divison: Nanti-SARRMM
Mayor of Voolah (our Martian capitol): Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of Transportation (specifically in charge of doubling the speed limits in Canada and Alaska): 727
Secretary of foreign affairs: chillygator
Distributor of all things tasty (mainly Filiberto's and Big Jud's): Goober
Secretary of Book Reading: yellow m&m
Secretary of Hostility (Dead division (the government has hitmen for those upstart communist leaders, right?)): D'artnagan (or something like that)
Secretary of Famous People?: Craig Jessop, even though he never wanted to be nominated for the position.
Secretary of fake swear words: Wisteria
A Muffin (flavor yet to be decided, but up between blueberry, lemon poppyseed , or banana nut): Fredjikrang
Co-Chairpeople of the Board Bounty Hunter association (BBHA, for short): Hobbes
Keeper of Fred: bobtheenchantedone
Public Relations person (And quing of brownosing): Werf Must
Secretary of causing intense discussions in reader respone: vorpal blade
Close runner-up to vorpal blade: Imogen
Secretary of all things random and off topic, pictures division: orb360
Secretary of all things random and off topic, obscure sight links division: Nanti-SARRMM
Secretary of missionary relations: Craig
Secretary of alter egos that we disliked at first, but now are near and dear to us: SWKT Parachuter
Secretary of insanely peppy alter egos: sqrt(-1)
Average J.: xkcd ***
Umm... has yet to request a title?: orb360

Dear Blue Dart,
Your title simpmly means that you were extremely hostile towards everyone. It does not imply that you have any special powers.

Yours truly,
Giovanni Schwartz

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:02 pm**

Gio: if you wish to remain president, I suggest you get with the program and change that "are" to a "were."

And I say that in a caring way.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:03 pm**

He still seems pretty hostile to me most of the time... but maybe I'm just predisposed to think so? I dunno... Officially changed to "were" then.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:05 pm**

Giovanni Schwartz wrote: Dear Blue Dart,
Your title simpmly means that you are extremely hostile towards everyone. It does not imply that you have any special powers.

Yours truly,
Giovanni Schwartz

Dear Giovanni,

It doesn't matter. I'll be hostile enough that I will offend everyone, slowly getting myself closer and closer to you, that my dreams will become a reality.

Also, another propostion, to further my hositility, I will hostily force congress into accepting 56 new taxes for everyone, each between three and twelve percent. Also, I will tax other governments for benefiting from our markets and for being in the same planet as us.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:09 pm**

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:He still seems pretty hostile to me most of the time... but maybe I'm just predisposed to think so? I dunno... Officially changed to "were" then.

I think I am still the brunt of it all actually.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:10 pm**

bobtheenchantedone wrote:Gio: if you wish to remain president, I suggest you get with the program and change that "are" to a "were."

And I say that in a caring way.

Awwe... Bob you do care. Giovanni, as a sign of truce, you can be my best man in the distant future when I ask Goober to marry me.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:20 pm**

Nanti-SARRMM wrote:
Giovanni Schwartz wrote:He still seems pretty hostile to me most of the time... but maybe I'm just predisposed to think so? I dunno... Officially changed to "were" then.
I think I am still the brunt of it all actually.

Nah. You know what? No longer. I no longer care for this petty behavior.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:24 pm**

I look forward to the change.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:24 pm**

D'artagnan wrote:
Nah. You know what? No longer. I no longer care for this petty behavior.

Right. We'll see.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:28 pm**

D'artagnan wrote:
It doesn't matter. I'll be hostile enough that I will offend everyone, slowly getting myself closer and closer to you, that my dreams will become a reality.

Also, another propostion, to further my hositility, I will hostily force congress into accepting 56 new taxes for everyone, each between three and twelve percent. Also, I will tax other governments for benefiting from our markets and for being in the same planet as us.

Giovanni, I fear for your presidency.

Posted: **Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:22 pm**

Nanti-SARRMM wrote: Giovanni, I fear for your presidency.

Good, my hostility action plan is already working. Spread it please, it needs to be progagated.

And have no worries Giovanni, I won't usurp your rule, well not until a national emergency occurs and I manage to get you voted off by congress. But it isn't anything personal.

Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Giovanni Schwartz for president!