Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

You might be a mormon redneck if:

-Your ex-girlfriend, mother-in-law, and 3rd cousin all have the same maiden name : "Young."

-Your belt buckle has a temple on it.

http://www.mormonzone.com/jokes.aspx?joke=0&cat=10

I only like the wreath one, because there are actually several pairs of married second cousins in my family tree.

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:I only like the wreath one, because there are actually several pairs of married second cousins in my family tree.

That's... not entirely accurate.

How do you figure? Go make a fan chart. I've found three. See if you can find them.

I do most of my work on our mother's side, and I think most of the inbreeding happened on dad's (go figure).

Tell me that's not inbreeding.

OUR GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS HIS OWN SECOND COUSIN ZOMG

Also, two other sets in mom's side with the same situation (although a generation higher).

I always knew you looked a little inbred.

I got down to the cafeteria and it was closed and the fire alarm was going. : (

On the plus side, I can no longer tell people "Work was really boring today" because fire alarm.

Edit: Crisis averted. I got lunch eventually.

A fire alarm once went off in the Cougareat as I was waiting to pay for my lunch. I already had my food and I wasn't about to leave it inside, so I took it with me, ate it, and paid when we were allowed to go back in.

AHHHH MY FIRST DOG SHOW IS IN LIKE THREE HOURS

THINK OF ALL THE MONEY YOU MIGHT MAKE

also, cute, well-groomed dogs!

My dog is so sad because he wants to go outside and bark at the landscapers, but I locked his doggie door so he can't get out and he is crying and it is pitiful but I don't care enough to actually let him out.

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:My dog is so sad because he wants to go outside and bark at the landscapers, but I locked his doggie door so he can't get out and he is crying and it is pitiful but I don't care enough to actually let him out.

Poor, poor David.

Yep. And then David ran away on the way to the mailbox, and mom and dad didn't care (they lost him). Fortunately he came back like 5 minutes later.

It's a true tragedy when you are reading a book, and you really like it, but you can only remember the twist ending, and none of the stuff in the middle.

Craig Jessop wrote:

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:My dog is so sad because he wants to go outside and bark at the landscapers, but I locked his doggie door so he can't get out and he is crying and it is pitiful but I don't care enough to actually let him out.

Poor, poor David.

When was the last time he went outside to do his business?
You could also try just letting the dog go out and get to know the landscapers so he won't be scared of them. It worked for my chihuahua when I was at home.
Why the heck did you name your dog David?

squirrel wrote:

Craig Jessop wrote:

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:My dog is so sad because he wants to go outside and bark at the landscapers, but I locked his doggie door so he can't get out and he is crying and it is pitiful but I don't care enough to actually let him out.

Poor, poor David.

When was the last time he went outside to do his business?
You could also try just letting the dog go out and get to know the landscapers so he won't be scared of them. It worked for my chihuahua when I was at home.
Why the heck did you name your dog David?

1. He does his business on the living room floor, which is so thrilling to us all.
2. Yeah right, he hates Mexicans. And most things.
3. So we could get reactions just like that one!

I HAVE A NEW PHONE! IT WILL DO THE TEXTING AND THE DATAING! I AM BESIDE MYSELF WAITING FOR IT TO CHARGE!

Oh, and if you know me in real life, contact me and get my new number.