Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Sorry to hear that, but at least you won't be apart for the next few months.

Guys, Minnesota is cold. Don't go there (in January, at least).

Katya wrote:Guys, Minnesota is cold. Don't go there (in January, at least).

Really, the entire Midwest is best avoided from mid-November through April.

Marx is doing me a favor right now and I am really super appreciative, really I am, BUT IT IS REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO MICRO-MANAGE HOW HE'S DOING IT.

What are you doing in Minnesota?

Marduk wrote:What are you doing in Minnesota?

I was there for a few days for a conference. (I flew back today, which is good because apparently it is going to be SUPER cold tomorrow.)

Emiliana wrote:Marx is doing me a favor right now and I am really super appreciative, really I am, BUT IT IS REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO MICRO-MANAGE HOW HE'S DOING IT.

When my husband loads the dishwasher, I just have to tell myself he can do it his way when he's doing it, and I can do it my way when I do it.

Were there any rants/stories/testimonies about marriage in F&T yesterday? I was snowboarding.

Portia wrote:Were there any rants/stories/testimonies about marriage in F&T yesterday? I was snowboarding.

Not in my ward. At least, none that I noticed (two kids, remember?). I believe there was one about evil in the world, but I don't recall him singling out any specific evil.

Dragon Lady wrote:

Portia wrote:Were there any rants/stories/testimonies about marriage in F&T yesterday? I was snowboarding.

Not in my ward. At least, none that I noticed (two kids, remember?). I believe there was one about evil in the world, but I don't recall him singling out any specific evil.

Papyrus and Comic Sans?

Those would be specific evils.

Whistler wrote:

Emiliana wrote:Marx is doing me a favor right now and I am really super appreciative, really I am, BUT IT IS REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO MICRO-MANAGE HOW HE'S DOING IT.

When my husband loads the dishwasher, I just have to tell myself he can do it his way when he's doing it, and I can do it my way when I do it.

I have a friend who has been married and is now divorced. He says he has learned three distinctly different ways to wash the dishes in the only true and right manner. First from his mother, then from his wife, and now from his girlfriend. Previously learned methods cannot be tolerated.

Which reminds me of the story of how the farmer tried to teach his chickens to do without food. Every day he fed them just a little bit less than he did the day before. Just when he had them almost trained "they up and died on me." Applying this to the present situation, "just when I had my husband about trained he up and left me."

well, washing dishes is fraught with conflict! I mean, some people think sponges are actually hygienic, for one

I solve this conflict by eating out. :D

Sounds like a good place for a blind taste test. Out of ten bites, how many times could the selective spouse tell that the given bite had touched the plate washed The Wrong Way?

I am very content to let Yellow wash the dishes any way he sees fit. He washes dishes every night. No way am I going to mess with this setup. In any way.

Well, when the same person both loads and unloads the dishwasher, it often matters little how that's done. The main point of frustration seems to be when one person loads it and another unloads, or even worse, when one person partially loads and then the other loads the rest of the way (or usually, unloads the whole thing and then reloads it the right way.)

I almost always wash the dishes. Usually my wife or a daughter dries the dishes. We haven't had a machine washing our dishes for so many years that I forget some people still use them.

The person drying the dishes exercises quality control over the cleanliness. The order the dishes are washed is also important to some people, however. Typically it must be the transparent glasses first. Pots and pans are last, coming right after the silverware.

Loading the dishwasher is another matter. Depending on the dishwasher you may have to be careful how completely the dishes are first rinsed. You may need to make sure the sprayer thing is not blocked by something. Items cannot be in close contact with one another. Forks, knives, and spoons inserted in "the right direction." Be careful not to wash things not dishwasher safe. The right amount of soap, of the right kind, must be placed in the right buckets. The wash cycle selected must be appropriate. There is quite a long list of do's and don'ts, actually.

Dragon Lady wrote:I am very content to let Yellow wash the dishes any way he sees fit. He washes dishes every night. No way am I going to mess with this setup. In any way.

Nor would I. I'm not very particular about how dishes are done just as long as I'm the one not doing them!

The incident that provoked this was whole conversation was rather silly... Marx was helping me enter grades in the online gradebook because I had a lot to do on Sunday. He would enter two or three grades, then spend twenty minutes playing a video game, then enter a few more grades, then almost let the computer go to sleep while he played his game. After several hours, I finally did break down and tell him that he was DRIVING ME CRAZY, and then I cried cause I felt like a bad wife for micromanaging when he was doing me a favor. And then finally we figured out that it was stressing me out because I was having trouble relaxing until everything was done, and I'd figured that having him help me would accomplish that, but it didn't. It was the lack of closure that was bothering me. Of course, I hadn't communicated that to him, so it wasn't fair for me to be upset at him about it.

tl;dr, communication is a good thing, but nagging is not a good thing.

Communication is an awesome thing. One of the best things of my marriage, honestly. But even then, we're not perfect (specifically me) and there are often times that things need to be said for my sanity and I just hold them inside and just suffer even though I know telling him would make it all better. Thankfully those times are becoming fewer and farther between. I still need to work on that.