Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

So, I have an INTENSE family history of breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed at 33 and died at 36. My maternal grandmother, maternal great-grandmother, and maternal great-aunt all had breast cancer (although none died of it). My maternal aunt recently discovered a fast-developing pre-cancerous lump and is having a double mastectomy tomorrow, which will decrease her chances of getting cancer from EIGHTY-SOMETHING PERCENT to only 8%.

With all of that, I am STILL having trouble getting the clinic and insurance to approve me for a mammogram, because I'm "only" 28. THAT'S ONLY FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOM WAS WHEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 2 BREAST CANCER.

The way healthcare works in this country is ridiculous. That sucks.

I submitted my scholarship application, which I was feeling really good about essay-wise, ONE MINUTE too late (missed a button on the bottom of the screen). I'm in second priority, also known as "HA HA HA HA HA NO MONEY FOR YOU"

I was passed over for another solo in choir. I've been in choirs for over a decade, auditioning for almost every solo despite my shyness, and have not yet had a single one. Another woman in my current choir has had three solos in the two years she's been in the choir. No, wait, four.

I paid $60 (and that was the discounted price) to compete in a singing competition. The top half of competitors from each location are supposed to move on. Out of the 10 people who auditioned at BYU, six of them are advancing, one of them in two categories. I am not one of those people.

If I misunderstood rules and it's supposed to be the top half of each category at each location, that means out of the two of us in my category I was passed over in favor of a guy with a BYU-approved and weird-looking mustache and who, as heard through the door, made a handful of mistakes and had some poor quality tone moments. I, on the other hand, was having a great singing day, made zero mistakes, and sang a very advanced song. But yeah, still I'm the one not going. There is an actual chance that the fact I wore pants was one of the deciding factors against me.

There was a fantastic opportunity with a small window of time to audition for a really cheap summer program in France which would have been awesome. I forgot to submit my application for a week. I have not been contacted about an audition.

In short I kinda feel like EVERYTHING SUCKS RIGHT NOW WHY AM I A SINGER WHY AM I GOING TO SCHOOL SWEAR WORDS

Emiliana wrote:So, I have an INTENSE family history of breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed at 33 and died at 36. My maternal grandmother, maternal great-grandmother, and maternal great-aunt all had breast cancer (although none died of it). My maternal aunt recently discovered a fast-developing pre-cancerous lump and is having a double mastectomy tomorrow, which will decrease her chances of getting cancer from EIGHTY-SOMETHING PERCENT to only 8%.

With all of that, I am STILL having trouble getting the clinic and insurance to approve me for a mammogram, because I'm "only" 28. THAT'S ONLY FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOM WAS WHEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 2 BREAST CANCER.

One of my friends just got diagnosed with breast cancer and she is 27. So, uh.

You'd think a family history would encourage them to want you in sooner!

Emiliana wrote:With all of that, I am STILL having trouble getting the clinic and insurance to approve me for a mammogram, because I'm "only" 28. THAT'S ONLY FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOM WAS WHEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 2 BREAST CANCER.

:'(

See if you insurance has member advocates. That is EXACTLY what that role is meant for.

bobtheenchantedone wrote:I submitted my scholarship application, which I was feeling really good about essay-wise, ONE MINUTE too late (missed a button on the bottom of the screen). I'm in second priority, also known as "HA HA HA HA HA NO MONEY FOR YOU"

I was passed over for another solo in choir. I've been in choirs for over a decade, auditioning for almost every solo despite my shyness, and have not yet had a single one. Another woman in my current choir has had three solos in the two years she's been in the choir. No, wait, four.

I paid $60 (and that was the discounted price) to compete in a singing competition. The top half of competitors from each location are supposed to move on. Out of the 10 people who auditioned at BYU, six of them are advancing, one of them in two categories. I am not one of those people.

If I misunderstood rules and it's supposed to be the top half of each category at each location, that means out of the two of us in my category I was passed over in favor of a guy with a BYU-approved and weird-looking mustache and who, as heard through the door, made a handful of mistakes and had some poor quality tone moments. I, on the other hand, was having a great singing day, made zero mistakes, and sang a very advanced song. But yeah, still I'm the one not going. There is an actual chance that the fact I wore pants was one of the deciding factors against me.

There was a fantastic opportunity with a small window of time to audition for a really cheap summer program in France which would have been awesome. I forgot to submit my application for a week. I have not been contacted about an audition.

In short I kinda feel like EVERYTHING SUCKS RIGHT NOW WHY AM I A SINGER WHY AM I GOING TO SCHOOL SWEAR WORDS

I'm sorry, music performance is the worst. I think more competitions should use screens so they can't see the performer. It must be so discouraging to feel like you barely missed those opportunities.

Emiliana wrote:So, I have an INTENSE family history of breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed at 33 and died at 36. My maternal grandmother, maternal great-grandmother, and maternal great-aunt all had breast cancer (although none died of it). My maternal aunt recently discovered a fast-developing pre-cancerous lump and is having a double mastectomy tomorrow, which will decrease her chances of getting cancer from EIGHTY-SOMETHING PERCENT to only 8%.

With all of that, I am STILL having trouble getting the clinic and insurance to approve me for a mammogram, because I'm "only" 28. THAT'S ONLY FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOM WAS WHEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 2 BREAST CANCER.

Has anyone in your family been tested for the BRCA gene? While I don't have the gene, some radiation treatment that I received upped my breast cancer risk to the same level and I've been instructed to start receiving mammograms starting around age 35 if I remember correctly. If you have the gene, perhaps the insurance company would be more willing to pay for early mammograms. If not, cancer.org has some resources to possibly help with mammogram costs.

So speaking of medical conditions with obvious genetic components, I'm feeling frustrated by the adage that "depression is just something mysterious in the ether and NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT CAUSES IT."

Sometimes, depression looks exactly like it does in the movies and sometimes it does have a very clear and obvious environmental cause and you could possibly make progress towards a better outlook by changing some of your thought processes/environment. Part of my "politically conservative upbringing" was a knee-jerk anti-psychology stance, and my brother admitted to me that things had hit a breaking point for him, as well. :-(

I'm a very results-oriented person, and knowing that I'm a walking time bomb for all sorts of "fun" reactions to stress makes the fact that I have run up against my insurance company multiple times very frustrating. But, it seems like much with cancer, they're only interested once it's too late. Just because I'm in (apparently!) perfect physical health doesn't mean that I'm performing up to capacity at this job. But, of course, I don't really feel like it's a wise idea to just go to my boss and say, so, everything about everything is falling apart, kthx. Grin and bear it, it is!

(For the record, I'm tried some online alternatives, which may be better than nothing, but certainly feels like the concept of a YA novel.)

Portia wrote: (For the record, I'm tried some online alternatives, which may be better than nothing, but certainly feels like the concept of a YA novel.)

Were you the one who recommended some meditation apps? I tried out Pacifica, which had some interesting exercises, but I couldn't bring myself to emotionally invest in a forum.

Whistler wrote:

Portia wrote: (For the record, I'm tried some online alternatives, which may be better than nothing, but certainly feels like the concept of a YA novel.)

Were you the one who recommended some meditation apps? I tried out Pacifica, which had some interesting exercises, but I couldn't bring myself to emotionally invest in a forum.

Maybe?

I've tried Happify, which I'm trying to keep an open mind to but which I feel judged by already. If anyone wants to try it, we could do it together and laugh at it.

And BetterHelp, which is remote counseling. Which I found via Pinterest.

Portia wrote:So speaking of medical conditions with obvious genetic components, I'm feeling frustrated by the adage that "depression is just something mysterious in the ether and NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT CAUSES IT."

Sometimes, depression looks exactly like it does in the movies and sometimes it does have a very clear and obvious environmental cause and you could possibly make progress towards a better outlook by changing some of your thought processes/environment.

Sooo, just for the record, one of the diagnostic criteria for depression (and all mood disorders) is that there are no obvious precipitating factors in your life. It would not, for example, be appropriate to diagnose someone with depression if someone they love had recently died. That's called mourning. Depression is something else entirely.

That being said, the whole concept of therapy is based around the idea that you can make progress by changing your thought processes and/or environment. Otherwise, why would you have therapy? I guess if you are in psychoanalysis the goal would be catharsis, but while that can be an important part of therapy, the bulk of modern therapy is in acquiring skills, changing thought processes (that is everything CBT is about, for example), and changing the way you interact with or process your environment.

TheBlackSheep wrote:That being said, the whole concept of therapy is based around the idea that you can make progress by changing your thought processes and/or environment. Otherwise, why would you have therapy? I guess if you are in psychoanalysis the goal would be catharsis, but while that can be an important part of therapy, the bulk of modern therapy is in acquiring skills, changing thought processes (that is everything CBT is about, for example), and changing the way you interact with or process your environment.

Yeah, it's something I've tried doing largely on my own since that's where I'm at. But I definite think that behavioral therapy can have better results than Freudian psychoanalysis! ^_^

On my favorite TV show she will be trapped with her therapist on a plane next week. LOL

TheBlackSheep wrote:Sooo, just for the record, one of the diagnostic criteria for depression (and all mood disorders) is that there are no obvious precipitating factors in your life.

I want to just pound this into everybody's freaking mind. So far, both the BYU Petition's Office and the freaking Accessibility Center have asked me what "caused it" and haven't been satisfied until I made up some obvious precipitating factors.

Thanks for the help with the mammogram issue, everyone. My fabulous gynecologist was able to help me get sorted out, and today I went to get ALL my lady parts poked and prodded and compressed into a vice!

Emiliana wrote:Thanks for the help with the mammogram issue, everyone. My fabulous gynecologist was able to help me get sorted out, and today I went to get ALL my lady parts poked and prodded and compressed into a vice!

<3 Good luck! Good OB-GYNs are the best.

If my water aerobics instructor gives me one more lecture in front of the class about how this class is a participation grade and I need to try harder, I'm going to look her in the eye and vomit straight into the pool.

GOOD GRAVY PEOPLE IT'S A BIRD. IT IS NOT THE SECOND COMING OF DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST JESUS.

I think Matthew 3:16-17 begs to differ:

And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:
And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

TheBlackSheep wrote:GOOD GRAVY PEOPLE IT'S A BIRD. IT IS NOT THE SECOND COMING OF DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST JESUS.

I'm pretty sure it indicates that Sanders is actually a Disney princess.

Which is good, because they've never had a Jewish princess.

Or a male princess.

TheBlackSheep wrote:GOOD GRAVY PEOPLE IT'S A BIRD. IT IS NOT THE SECOND COMING OF DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST JESUS.

You just don't understand Oregonians.