Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

krebscout wrote:Sauron says you should pay them three cents. His dad overpaid a speeding ticket by two cents, and they sent him a check for it three years later. Because they have to make their books balance...despite the fact that postage costs more than that.

Sticking it to the man: hilarious everybody?

And the post office rejoices because they got TWO envelopes sent through them for checks that cost way less than the postage.

But I also think that's a fabulous idea. Just think, that check for two cents might come when you're on the brink of starvation. And… it'll mock you?

Yesterday I learned that sometimes if you ask somebody if they're in the student ward they may misunderstand you because they don't know that term and they might say yes, even though they are, in fact, Catholic.

I preached at a funeral today. I ... really hope I never have to do that again.

There was one time when I gave a talk at my grandpa's funeral … and dropped a bottle of Coke on his coffin.

That was funtimes.

krebscout wrote:Yesterday I learned that sometimes if you ask somebody if they're in the student ward they may misunderstand you because they don't know that term and they might say yes, even though they are, in fact, Catholic.

I almost bought an amazing technicolor coat the other day. It was electric blue and so totally me. But then I felt bad for all the electric eels who died to make that coat so I refrained.

It seems so futile to try to teach a little one dinner manners in a kitchen filled with dirty dishes and craft projects at a table I had to work on for a minute just to clear off a space for the two of us to eat a dinner I cobbled together out of our last two cans of soup.

(Run-on sentence FTW.)

bobtheenchantedone wrote:(Run-on sentence FTW.)

Actually, no. Not a run-on sentence. Just a lot of relative clauses*.

bobtheenchantedone wrote:[It seems so futile to try to teach a little one dinner manners in a kitchen [filled with dirty dishes and craft projects at a table [I had to work on for a minute just to clear off a space for the two of us to eat a dinner [I cobbled together out of our last two cans of soup.]]]]

*I think they're relative clauses. Pretty sure they're not subordinate clauses. In X-bar theory, they'd be complementizers, regardless.

Never invite a linguist to an English party.

Marduk wrote:Never invite a linguist to an English party.

Because they'll make you support your opinions on language with actual facts?

oooh buuuuurn

Katya wrote:

Marduk wrote:Never invite a linguist to an English party.

Because they'll make you support your opinions on language with actual facts?

Ha.

In other news, listening to "Hey Jude" always makes me think of Jude the Obscure (which I hated), and the three weeks of senior year that I had that song stuck in my head while reading (and hating) that book.

"actual facts" is a highly subjective term.

Marduk wrote:"actual facts" is a highly subjective term.

Somehow, this quote seems to characterize you very well.

Marduk wrote:"actual facts" is a highly subjective term.

Opinions based on evidence then. (And then we can debate the validity of the evidence.)

I'm eating ice cream out of a mug with a tiny long-handed spoon. I think it's time to do the dishes.

I was babysitting today and ran out of diapers and had to cloth diaper the baby with a burp rag and safety pins. It was quite the experience! I'm very glad I learned how to put cloth diapers on my baby doll as a kid . . . didn't expect to be using that knowledge any time soon!

Rifka wrote:I was babysitting today and ran out of diapers and had to cloth diaper the baby with a burp rag and safety pins. It was quite the experience! I'm very glad I learned how to put cloth diapers on my baby doll as a kid . . . didn't expect to be using that knowledge any time soon!

That's… fantastic! Haha. I even cloth diaper, but have no idea how to do it the old-school way. Maybe I should learn for just in case. Or just make sure I always have the internets to teach me.

Dragon Lady wrote:

Rifka wrote:I was babysitting today and ran out of diapers and had to cloth diaper the baby with a burp rag and safety pins. It was quite the experience! I'm very glad I learned how to put cloth diapers on my baby doll as a kid . . . didn't expect to be using that knowledge any time soon!

That's… fantastic! Haha. I even cloth diaper, but have no idea how to do it the old-school way. Maybe I should learn for just in case. Or just make sure I always have the internets to teach me.

It's really pretty easy. You just put the cloth flat on the ground and fold the bottom corners in a little bit. Then you pull that narrower part up, pull the top corners in tight and pin them. The trickiest part yesterday was that I didn't have any diaper pins and safety pins are kind of small to hold all that cloth. Fortunately it worked, though. It also helped that her burp rag was just one of the old cloth diapers-- exactly what I learned to cloth diaper with. My mom did cloth diapers with all eight of us, so there were always plenty around to diaper my dolls with.

An alien exploded in my car today. Never a dull moment with me around.