Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

An editor has asked if I'd design some Board shirts, which I'm happy to do, but I'd love to hear some ideas or requests from those who know the Board best. They can be anything - favorite quotes, favorite title bars, or something original - and we need a lot, as they'll likely be changing from month to month.

If you have anything at all, no matter how silly, please let me know. Thanks.

Hmm. I'm going to have to think about this one.

“Question: How many BYU students does it take to answer any question?”
“Answer: Only one, but you have to wait 100 hours.”


“Seven days without reading the 100 Hour Board makes one weak.”


“You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers. The 100 Hour Board.”


We may not always be right, but we are never wrong. The 100 Hour Board.”


“Everything you always wanted to know, but were afraid to ask. The 100 Hour Board will tell you…to search the archives.”

I like those, Vorpal.

I especially like the first and last one of vorpal's.

Perhaps another option could include the word "werf"? That appears to be a fairly common word unique to the Board...

Unfortunately, I am slow and uncreative these days. All I could think of was "werf" on the front and "100 Hour Board" on the back. I know there's better.

“If you can hie to Kolob in the twinkling of any eye…the 100 Hour Board could use you.”


Adam was a prophet, first one that we know
In regard to evolution, you can ask the 100 Hour Board.


All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The 100 Hour Board answers them all.


An angel came to Joseph Smith,
You have the 100 Hour Board.


We have been born, as Nephi of old
Next question, for the 100 Hour Board..


As I have loved you,
Love the 100 Hour Board.


At night, when I’m alone in bed,
I close my eyes and see
The many things I should have asked
The 100 Hour board.


Why is the sky so blue and clear?
Why is the robin’s song so dear?
Why is the sun so warm and bright?
I don’t know. Ask the 100 Hour Board.


It is fun to have a friend who will play with you.
It is fun to have a friend who can stay with you.
It is fun to make a friend for your whole life through.
But to have a friend, ask the 100 Hour Board.


I looked out the window, and what did I see?
That’s an obnoxious question for the 100 Hour Board.


I’m all made of hinges, what’s wrong with me?
I think I’ll ask the 100 Hour Board.


The prophet said to plant a garden, so that’s what we’ll do.
To know how to do it, Oh 100 Hour Board, we’re asking you.


You give me a kiss.
You give me a hug.
You smile when you see me too.
What’s wrong with you?
-The 100 Hour Board

Someone's got too much time on his hands.

I am still a big fan of Katya's remark - "If you're only wearing Nutella, you're not dressed modestly."

Also: "A guy in the hand is worth two in the mission field." -FCSM

"Gag me with a tiny, golden statue." -Rating Pending

“May your daughters all sit on cold concrete till they become infertile and may your sons all join "CD of the week" clubs so that you get stuck buying terrible music well into your old age till you die of influenza, penniless and alone, whereupon the dogs in the streets will gnaw your bones and indie, new-aged teenagers will buy your clothes at a pawn shop.” –Rating Pending

"As for President Hinkley's cane, I'm pretty sure the Lady of the Lake took it back." -Kayta

Shirts saying "Proud Member of of Hobbes' Death Squad"?

I like Sam's and Bob's ideas.

You could even turn John Black's last comment into a T-shirt idea.

John Black?

Also: Thanks everyone!

New question: This will help me with one of the few original ideas I have. Who are the iconic/notable/famous Board writers, past and present? Who embodies the Board for you? I'd say Optimistic., Katya, and Uffish do it for me, but those are my generation. I'm not very familiar with older writers.

Man, add Horatio, Latro, Benvolio, and Melyngoch to that list.

krebscout wrote:Who are the iconic/notable/famous Board writers, past and present? Who embodies the Board for you?

I'd also add Pa Grape, Misaneroth, Saurus (§åû®μ$), Ambrosia, and Duchess...but I'm going back about 6 years with those. They aren't likely to be nearly as meaningful to current readers. (And it almost seems disrespectful to leave off Beemer Boy, FCSM, The Franchise, The Captain, Skippy DeLorean, ›Kassidy‹, Mighty Quinn, Toaster Oven, and Novel Concept, but now the list is getting long.)

Why not have a list of all writers, in order of when they joined the board with a phrase at the bottom that says something like, "With this much awesome on your side, how can you lose?"

Also, another shirt idea would be to warn of the tunnel worms. Also another about wanting someone's bacon. I'm sure having a shirt that says "Bacon ice cream, good in theory, bad in application." Or something.

krebscout wrote:John Black?

Giovanni is John, in Italian.

The origin of the family name Schwartz comes from Germany and means black. http://www.ancestry.com/facts/schwartz- ... aning.ashx

The short list of names I most associate with the Board are Katya, Pa Grape, Horatio, Latro, and Laser Jock. This list leaves off a lot of really good writers. I can remember something written by each of the active writers.

Of the retired writers not already mentioned I recall Ambrosia, Azriel, branflakes, Brutus, Castle in the Sky, CATS, CGNU Grad, Double White Lines, Dragon Lady, Duchess, FCSM, Just Another Cassio, Kicks and Giggles, L'Afro, la bamba, Lavish, Lexi Khan, Mighty Quinn, Nike, Novel Concept, Olympus, Optimistic., Optimus Prime, Petra, Polly Esther, Portia, Quandary, Skippy DeLorean, Tangerine, Tao, The Captain, The Cheeky Chickie, The Cleaning Lady, The Defenestrator, The Franchise, The Investigator, The Man with a Mustache, the pirates (who don't do anything), and Toasteroven.

No offense meant to those I just don't remember well.

Nanti-SARRMM wrote:Also another about wanting someone's bacon. I'm sure having a shirt that says "Bacon ice cream, good in theory, bad in application." Or something.

The other day, one of my friends asked another one of my friends if they could have her bacon. I had to try so hard not to laugh.

Nanti-SARRMM wrote:Why not have a list of all writers, in order of when they joined the board with a phrase at the bottom that says something like, "With this much awesome on your side, how can you lose?"

This is actually a fun idea; however, you'd need room for a lot of names. As far as we have record of, there have been 127 writers using 378 aliases to answer questions so far.

Oh, and Vorpal, thanks for the mention. Obviously we've had a few debates/arguments, so we won't get into why I'm on the list you most associate with the Board, but I guess either fame or infamy works, eh?

Laser Jock wrote:

Nanti-SARRMM wrote:Why not have a list of all writers, in order of when they joined the board with a phrase at the bottom that says something like, "With this much awesome on your side, how can you lose?"

This is actually a fun idea; however, you'd need room for a lot of names. As far as we have record of, there have been 127 writers using 378 aliases to answer questions so far.

Eh, I think that the editors and other Powers That Be could probably prune that list by a decent amount by cutting off a lot of less-notable duplicate aliases (but not so many that it would give too much away). Alternately, you add almost all of the names — I still think you'd want to leave off those who answered less than 5 questions or something — and make them spell out "100" (or something else), kind of like this. You could also put in separators for the year, but I don't think you'd need actual dates.

Sort of like this:

• 2003 • Ambrosia • Pa Grape • 2004 • Uffish Thought • Katya the Physics Chick • Novel Concept • 2005 • Melyngoch •

(Obviously, there would be a lot more names in between the years, I'm just throwing in a few whose order I can remember. Also, I'm a sucker for bullets as spacers.)

Well why not use the 127 main psuednyms then without worrying about listing the secondary nyms?