Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Sorry men of the board, but I am in desperate need of some sympathy.

Holy crap! Going to bed is not even an option for me tonight because I'm in so much pain. I have taken pain reliever and have a hot pillow settled on me, and I can't think of anything else to do, so I'm going to sit here and whimper and listen to Jane Austen. And I would eat chocolate if I had any and if my stomach weren't upset because of how much pain I'm in. Give me your terrible-time-of-the-month stories so I don't feel so alone in the world!

<3 pregnancy

it could be worse...it could be food poisoning!

UGH! I hate that. The funny part is that mine used to be terrible, every month like clockwork until I got on birth control when I got married. I mean, usually I spend that day in the nurse's office in high school if I could. I even puked in a store once. And then everything got better when I was pregnant, and after I was pregnant. But the birth control I am on right now is bringing them steadily back to bad again. Last month I swear I felt wave-like contractions like I was giving birth.

Short answer- you have my utter sympathy.

TheAnswerIs42 wrote:UGH! I hate that. The funny part is that mine used to be terrible, every month like clockwork until I got on birth control when I got married. I mean, usually I spend that day in the nurse's office in high school if I could. I even puked in a store once. And then everything got better when I was pregnant, and after I was pregnant. But the birth control I am on right now is bringing them steadily back to bad again. Last month I swear I felt wave-like contractions like I was giving birth.

Short answer- you have my utter sympathy.

@ 42- If I may be so impertinent: while COCP's can help regulate the hormones to such a degree that endometrial shedding is kept to a minimum (thus helping avoid dysmenorrhea), the potential for irregularity in dosing (due to imperfections in the pills themselves or in regularity of administration) they can lose their effectiveness in this regard or even exacerbate the problem. If problems persist, you may consider looking into the option of using an IUD for contraception.

@ bob, My condolences. I feel little I can say or do can be of much comfort. Hang in there.

Well, okay, you can have my horror stories. I have horrible periods. They are heavy and long and sometimes don't stop. My junior year of college I had one that didn't stop from September to December. I've been on birth control since I was 13 to try to control them. Usually it works, but sometimes there's a freak show. One time when I was an RA, I was kicking the boys out after visiting hours, and I felt a massive amount of blood exit my body all at once. Thankfully I was wearing black pants and no one could really tell. After the boys left, I went up to one of the empty floors in our building (DT shortly before the end of DT), and got in the bath tub to wash myself and my pants off. The water was dark red. It was gross. That is only one of several times that I have bled all over myself in public.

And I throw up often. And the cramps are really bad. I have a really gross throwing up story, but it involves food poising rather than menstruation. But if you would like to hear it, let me know.

I hope you're feeling a bit better by now!

Man, NerdGirl, you really have it rough. I usually feel like I want to throw up, but I never do. Though, like 42, I'm usually out of the action for a whole day.

I was on birth control for a while, but I don't know that there was really any improvement. Plus I ran out while in Florida and didn't want to spend the $5 to buy more.

I was able to sleep well, but now I'm back on the couch with a hot pillow. Still, it's not as bad as it was last night. : P

@ Tao - I'm on the IUD right now, actually. There are two types of IUD: the one with hormones, that decreases the size of your period, and the one without hormones, that tends to make them worse. I have the latter kind. And I have found that it wasn't a problem for the first couple of years, but the longer I have this thing in, the worse the whole package gets. Every month my PMS swings me further into depression mode, and my periods get longer and heavier. I am debating on going in to have it switched soon, despite the fact that it won't expire for years.

I've never taken the pill because I am horrible at anything that requires daily dillegence. It was a lost cause before I even started.

Ah, my apologies. I wasn't aware that the copper IUD was as popular as it apparently is; though it's duration and simple mode of action does make it a sensible choice.

Ugh, I'm sorry bob. I feel you. I used to go into shock because of the pain and passed out a few times. I have a problem where the lining detaches before it's disintegrated/ready to, so it sheds in large pieces. Luckily I don't throw up every time anymore. Have you tried taking a long, hot bath or shower? That usually at least helps my lower back and thigh muscles relax a little bit. Also, nothing has made my periods not quite as miserable (let's be honest, they're always miserable) like regular exercise.

Whatever you do, don't watch any TV that will have feminine product commercials where the "menstruating" women are frolicking and happy and look like Sunday morning. They make me want to punch things.

The only product commercial I've watched recently is a really funny one. "My period makes me want to hold really soft things, like my cat. And I really want to to twirl, sometimes in slow motion, and by the third or fourth day I really just want to dance. The commercials are really helpful, because they have that blue liquid. I'm like, 'Oh, so that's what's supposed to happen.'"

Or something like that.

I saw that commercial yesterday and it's awesome!

I'll proffer some sympathy now, to all of you. I'm sorry it's so horrible!

My mom was always happiest when she was pregnant.

I used to have to stay home from school/come home from school until we figured out why I was feverish/stomachachy. Then I took painkillers specially designed for the cause and ... went to college, where my mom couldn't force me to go to class.

But there's this great shot, puts you right in menopause/prepubescence! Only $2000 a pop! And a pop every three months. With a 4-inch needle. And peanut butter consistency. And the added bonus of hot flashes. Your troubles will all be over!

bobtheenchantedone wrote:The only product commercial I've watched recently is a really funny one. "My period makes me want to hold really soft things, like my cat. And I really want to to twirl, sometimes in slow motion, and by the third or fourth day I really just want to dance. The commercials are really helpful, because they have that blue liquid. I'm like, 'Oh, so that's what's supposed to happen.'"

Or something like that.

You really should find a link for that commercial. I really, really, want to see it now.

Dragon Lady wrote: You really should find a link for that commercial. I really, really, want to see it now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRf35wCmzWw

That commercial... was ridiculously funny!

I also really sympathize with everyone here (well, not Tao, just the girls). Seriously, your stories sound more awful than when I gave birth! Sheesh. I'm so sorry.

And now this is where I shamefully admit that I've never had any kind of menstrual cramping before... only contractions.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[giggles]

"The ads on TV are really helpful. Because they use that blue liquid. And you're like 'Oh. That's what's supposed to happen'". Heh. That was funny. And I'm male!

I cannot express how much I love that commercial.

Mmkay, so, usually my first day is the only day I'm in agony and otherwise unhappy. But today I'm back to hot pillows! What is this crap??