Wedding dresses

[Unit of Energy]

http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=58189

What is your opinion on buying versus renting a wedding dress. I have a few thoughts on the matter. First thought is you can tell an expensive girl more by how well she budgets and how much she cares about not overspending than you can about her wedding dress preferences.
Point One
Renting a modest wedding dress is not a viable option in many areas of the country. Along with this point is that you can't significantly alter a rented wedding dress

Point Two
Wedding dresses can be heirlooms, but if this is your reason to buy your dress, please try to make it a style that is not clearly dated. You will also be grateful for this decision when showing your dress and wedding pictures to your children.

Point Three
There are other alternatives to renting and buying a wedding dress. I plan on having my mom, aunts, and sisters help me make mine, someday in the future. Yes this could add a little more stress, but I think my dress is likely to mean more to me. And purchasing fabric is cheaper that purchasing a dress.

[NerdGirl]

I plan on making my wedding dress. And I think grooms should just buy a nice suit that they'll be able to keep wearing instead of wasting money on a rented tux. I kind of think that renting wedding apparel more of a waste of money. Even though it's usually less expensive than buying, it's still pretty pricey for something you don't get to keep.

[Marduk]

I say we avoid the issue entirely and just opt for naked weddings.

[Unit of Energy]

I say we avoid the issue entirely and just opt for naked weddings.

I'm pretty sure this would cause more uprising than the rent/buy debate.

[krebscout]

Sauron bought a new a suit that he still wears and The Cleaning Lady made my dress. Which still cost some good money (according to my cheapo standards), but probably not worth the time she actually put into it. She is one talented lady.

[TheAnswerIs42]

The thing is, we have to keep things in perspective. Outside of Mormons, the average person in this country spends $20,000 on weddings. Somehow, everyone I knew spent more than that. That is a huge downpayment on a house, if you ask me. Most people I knew kept it around $5,000 or so. While that is still a lot of money, it is a big day, and mostly an event done for family and pictures etc.

As for the dress itself, Unit is right. Renting is not actually cheaper if you have multiple receptions or alterations to be done. We bought my dress and bought my husband a nice suit, and sold my dress as soon as I was done with it. I have seen people spend a lot of money to preserve their dress, but styles change so quickly no one wants to use it again. And I just didn't see a point in keeping it in the closet. But that's me.

[ahem.]

...everyone you knew spent more than $20,000, but most people you knew spent around $5,000?

What were you trying to say...?

[thebigcheese]

Initially, I considered renting a dress for many of the same reasons already discussed. I thought it was more practical. And I know that my sister still has her dress hanging untouched in the closet from 12 years ago. So I talked to one of my woman friends about this (because she had actually looked into it), and she said that renting is nearly the same price. She also said that rented gowns tend to look used. Thus, my decision to buy a dress. And it's dang pretty

Otherwise, I barely spend any money on myself. I am not one of those girls who drops hundreds of dollars at the mall every week. Clotheswise, I buy something small for myself maybe once or twice a year. Thus, I wholeheartedly disagree with the rent/buy argument as a way to determine how "expensive" a person is. There are lots of other reasons for buying a dress, besides just being gaudy.

By the way, how much does a new tux cost to buy? Anybody got some hard numbers on that?

[Carrapicho]

I bought my dress and didn't even think about renting. Looking back, I see clearly the reasons why the thought of renting never really even occurred to me:
1. I'm almost six feet tall. I really really REALLY doubt I could have found a rented dress that would reach the floor, as I wanted my dress to do. We had to add almost six inches to the dress I bought anyway.
2. I also had the issue of the wedding and reception in one place and then open house in another place two weeks later. That would have been pretty difficult to juggle with a rental.
3. I had no idea where one goes to rent a dress. And nobody said anything about it to me, so I decided on my own to go to the local modest wedding dress store. The dress I bought is simple and I'm hoping, if I have a daughter someday, that she may at least be able to use some of it for her wedding--who knows?

Also, instead of tux rental, my husband's grandparents bought him a nice suit for the wedding, a suit which he still uses for church, job interviews, etc. I'd say that was a good investment for him.

[Imogen]

so my post didn't post? did i post it in the wrong place? i dunno. anyway:

my best friend bought a gorgeous dress at david's bridal for about 400 dollars. she's planning to have her dress made into a quilt that incorporates parts of my bridesmaid's dress. she purposely got one without beading on it so that it would be easier to have made into a quilt.

the coolest idea i saw to reuse a bridal gown was on "my fair wedding with david tutera." he used a mom's old bridal gown to wrap the stems of her daughter's bridal bouquet. my mom never had a real wedding, so i don't have the benefit of using her dress for anything in my wedding, and i would love to. so when i eventually get married, i am DEFINITELY buying. plus, my body is a weird shape and i want it to fit properly.

[NerdGirl]

Imogen, I really like the quilt idea!

And the fitting you properly thing is a good point. That's part of why I want to make mine myself. I'm not the same size all over, and I'm also short with a long torso, so stuff from the store doesn't always work so well. I usually end up taking new pants to a tailor and asking them to take six or seven inches off the bottom. But I have enough sewing skills to make my own dress, so that's my plan. Although I've also thought about knitting or crocheting one.

[vorpal blade]

By the way, how much does a new tux cost to buy? Anybody got some hard numbers on that?

About ten years ago one of my sons bought his tux from a thrift store for about $10. He wore it to the receptions and for the wedding pictures. It was practically new.

[Dragon Lady]

My mom made mine for less than $100. I think somewhere around $50-70, but I don't remember exactly. She also made matching dresses for all the nieces, Heartless Siren and herself (and maybe one of Yellow's sisters, I think?). Something like 6 or 7 dresses, plus my wedding dress. And she had less than 2 months to do it all. It was intensely crazy and included much stress and tears. My body shape is … unique… and we lived 4 hours apart, so fittings were more difficult. And turns out my idea of what I wanted for a dress didn't really flatter me much, and we had a tough time getting around that. She was still sewing my dress the night before I got married.

My dress turned out beautiful. I plan on keeping it. I probably won't mind at all if my girls use it to play dress up or for Halloween or something. And if they don't, that's ok, too. It'll cost me more to dry clean it than it did to make it in the first place.

If I could do it again, I would probably buy one. Yes, it would have cost probably 10x as much, but I think that it would have been worth it to save the stress that went into making it.

[Wisteria]

My mother used the train from her wedding dress to make my sister's baby blessing dress. She wore her wedding dress for years as a temple dress, sans train. My sister-in-law had her wedding dress altered to take some of the fullness out of the skirt and give it long sleeves to turn it into a temple dress. I kind of like this idea. After having made my own temple dress from an altered formal pattern, I may very well end up making my dress, too, and possibly replacing my current temple dress with it after the event. Although, Imogen, I also really like the quilt idea.

I am also a big fan of the groom getting a high-quality suit instead of renting a tux. My brother did that, and he has a practical, nice memento from his wedding that my other brother and brother-in-law, who wore tuxes, missed out on.

[Imogen]

i would totally make one but 1) i don't know anyone who sews and i wouldn't want a stranger to make it and 2) i want SPARKLE!! i already know it'll cost me more, but i found the perfect types of dresses on david's bridal for less than $1,000. i've seen some people pay as much as $16,000 for the DRESS ALONE. i mean, that's a new car. i don't endorse that kind of crazy spending unless you have money to burn. but less than 1,000 bucks for something that you really can reuse if you're creative enough? totally worth it.

[Laser Jock]

The thing is, we have to keep things in perspective. Outside of Mormons, the average person in this country spends $20,000 on weddings. Somehow, everyone I knew spent more than that.

...everyone you knew spent more than $20,000, but most people you knew spent around $5,000?

What were you trying to say...?

She was talking about the average person, not the average person she knew.

It's hard to say how accurate these statistics are, but according to theweddingreport.com / costofwedding.com (they're run by the same people), most people spend between $14,686 and $24,476, with an average of $19,581. TheAnswerIs42 isn't just making numbers up. (These don't include the cost of the honeymoon or the engagement ring; to see what does count, go here.) The average for Utah is $17,362. (For Provo-Orem, it's $18,001.) They detail their methodology here.

These numbers still seem absurd to me, which is why I question them, but possibly I just know really cheap people.

[NerdGirl]

I have a friend who spent $7000 on her wedding dress.

[ahem.]

...everyone you knew spent more than $20,000, but most people you knew spent around $5,000?

What were you trying to say...?

She was talking about the average person, not the average person she knew.

She edited to clarify. Either that, or I may be going crazy.


Also, watching Say Yes to the Dress makes me worried. I have a hard time believing people spend that much money on a dress.

[TheAnswerIs42]

Yes, sorry, I should clarify. Everyone I know OUTSIDE Of mormondom spent way over 20,000. It is a small sample size on people I know that I know how much they paid, but I know my brother's was $70,000 reportedly; I recently went to an Indian wedding that went all day, was the most elaborate decorations I have ever seen, and they fed all 500 of us breakfast, lunch and dinner; and my other brother was a long time ago but I am sure it was mega mega bucks as well.

BUT the people I knew in Mormondom are mostly the decorate the church gym, cut every corner we can type of people. I have gone to only two or three Utah weddings that were actually elaborate.

So by "all the people I know", I was talking about all the people I knew in each category.

Also, Yes to the Dress worries me as well. Good grief. They spend thousands and thousands of dollars on the dress, and if someone comes in and says their wedding is in less than four months the whole store goes into panic mode. And still, I love watching the show somehow . . .

[Unit of Energy]

Elaborate weddings. I just went to a reception on the 9th floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. The entire 9th floor. It was great fun, but far more than I ever want. Although I'm thinking more of an outdoor reception than a church gym. Then again I'm sure I have time to change my mind.