Middle Names

[Unit of Energy]

http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=58475
I just wanted to add a couple notes to the answers given.

1. Middle names have only been around for about 200 years. They aren't as traditional as we often think. The Church hasn't even been around 200 years yet, and the first 6 Prophets did not have middle names, and this was not unusual.

2. Middle names developed for many of the same reasons that Surnames did. To some extent that was to honor family members, but for the most part it was to distinguish between all the Davids and Johns in the world.

3. Point 2 contributes to why middle names are more important for boys than girls in our culture. Our accepted pool of male names is smaller than the selection for females. For evidence of this see the fluidity of the popular female names every year and the relatively static list of popular male names.

[TheAnswerIs42]

Can I just say I have always been annoyed by people who don't give their girls a middle name though? My mom didn't have a middle name for that reason, and she wishes she did since her maiden name was actually a verb. She never officially kept it as a middle name for that reason. She gave me a middle name that was a family name, and I chose to keep that over my maiden name. I was always very grateful for it while growing up, since my first and last name were VERY common. I think that relates to Unit's Point 3 above. I needed one, thanks. I liked having something to set me apart.

Why do people feel like they can't give their girls a choice later? When I ask about a middle name for a new baby, I often get a blank stare when people say "a girl doesn't need one" because she will get married later. (The fact that she might not, or might spend any significant portion of her life un-married is irrelevant.) My in-laws give me this aghast look as though a middle name would prevent her from getting married or something. I just don't see why girls "shouldn't" have one (that's my in-laws again). So what if it might get ditched in 20 years? Why does that mean that it is "wrong" to give her one in the first place?

Sorry, < / rant > . My in-laws are probably the only people who consider it wrong to give a girl a middle name.

[Craig Jessop]

My mom's maiden name is my middle name and the middle name of all my siblings. Except my sister, who doesn't have one. My mom's expecting her to do the same thing she did -- use her maiden name as a middle name later in life. I don't have a problem with it. In fact, someday I hope to pass on my middle name to my kids because it's really really cool.

[Dead Cat]

I think middle names--for guys and gals alike--should be used as an opportunity in case the kid doesn't like their first name. My dad made sure that us kids all had at least one normal name because he had two really uncommon ones that he didn't like too much to choose from. Also, note that giving your kids a choice can be taken too far: my mom's old boyfriend had seven names all together and I think he's gone by three or four of them in his life.

[Katya]

Can I just say I have always been annoyed by people who don't give their girls a middle name though?

A-MEN!

Reiterating some of 42's points:

1. Some women choose to go by their middle name instead of their first name.

2. Some women don't change their name when they marry.

3. It's OK for a woman to have to pick which name she drops when she marries.

And lastly . . .

4. Some women make a name for themselves while single or don't ever marry. (Frankly, I consider ignoring this last point to be another way in which single people—and perhaps especially single women—aren't considered adults or "real" people within Mormon culture, but that's a somewhat separate issue.)

[krebscout]

Hm. I've never heard of this "shouldn't" business. I always thought people without middle names were a novelty.

I kept my middle name when I married, too, but I still use my maiden name as my middle name for business. 'Cuz my dad is awesome and makes me worth more money.

[Unit of Energy]

I actually know of a family that gives there sons two middle names and there daughters only one so that when she gets married she'll have two.
I've thought about it and I love my middle name. It's an incredibly common middle name, but it's still mine. I don't use it much, but I like having it there. It adds some class to my somewhat common named that peaked in the 60s. But for the most part it does go unused. And my last name is incredibly hard for Americans to pronounce, so I'm grateful that I don't have to keep it with me forever. I love it, but will be glad not to have to spell it for every one anymore.

[NerdGirl]

I actually know of a family that gives there sons two middle names and there daughters only one so that when she gets married she'll have two.

My brother has two middle names and I only have one, but that's not because of anything having to do with me getting married one day. My dad wanted my brother's middle name to be the last name of his favorite Canadian prime minister and my mom wanted it to be my dad's first name, so they compromised and used both. My first name and middle name are actually the middle names of my dad's two sisters (well, my first name is the Irish version of one of their middle names). And my mom actually goes by her middle name because her first name is the same as her mother's name, so they started calling her by her middle name to avoid confusion.

I really don't like the idea of not giving girls middle names with one notable exception. The minister of our local United Church of Canada when I was a kid had done a lot of mission work in the middle east, and he and his wife named their three daughters names from the cultures they had spent time in. They didn't want to dilute the effect of their really cool names, so they didn't give them middle names. But they probably would have done the same thing if they had had any sons.

Oh, man, and I also just remembered a funny middle name story. My best guy friend in high school (who eventually became my boyfriend) didn't have a middle name and he felt really ripped off about it. So he would invent middle names for himself, which changed from time to time, and sign them all over the place and make a really big deal about it. At one point his middle name was "Billy Bob". He was also a notoriously unhealthy eater who would never eat fruits or veggies or anything green and lived off of burgers and fries and ice cream (and was as thin as a rail, but that's not the point). Well, every year we had this group come in and do a presentation on abstinence. I think they were a religious group because they actually called it chastity. During the "Billy Bob" phase, they did a little skit about a guy named Billy Bob, who hated eating vegetables. Everyone told him he should eat vegetables because it was fun and natural and everyone was doing it, but Billy Bob just wouldn't back down and he stood up for what he believed in. And of course eating vegetables was supposed to be symbolic of having sex, which really wasn't the best comparison because we want kids to eat their vegetables but we don't want them to have sex. But it was really funny to all the guys in our class, because my friend who had been going around calling himself ____ "Billy Bob" _____ hated vegetables! They made fun of him for months for not liking the thing that was symbolic of sex.

[Katya]

My dad wanted my brother's middle name to be the last name of his favorite Canadian prime minister . . .

Diefenbaker?!

[NerdGirl]

My dad wanted my brother's middle name to be the last name of his favorite Canadian prime minister . . .

Diefenbaker?!

Oh, I wish! No, sadly it was Laurier. Much more dignified-sounding.

[Katya]

My dad wanted my brother's middle name to be the last name of his favorite Canadian prime minister . . .

Diefenbaker?!

Oh, I wish! No, sadly it was Laurier. Much more dignified-sounding.

Oh. I'd be tempted to name a child of mine Diefenbaker, but after the wolf.

Chrétien would also be cool, especially if your dad's name was Christian.

[bobtheenchantedone]

I'm totally late to this party, but I'm adding this comment anyway!

My mom wasn't given a middle name. Then she gave all of us at least one middle name. My two youngest sisters each have two middle names.

I love my middle name, and actually went by it in Florida. I was going to try to keep going by my middle name after I got home, but it's too difficult when everyone back home calls me by my first name.

[TheAnswerIs42]

NerdGirl, that's really funny. I actually had a friend who was sad about not having a middle name as well. She was Indian - born in India - so her first and last name were rather . . . non-American. She decided that since her initials were R.M., she would be R. Elizabeth M. so she could be REM. Since I was editor of the yearbook, and she was on staff with me, we made it say that in our Senior yearbook. I don't know if anyone reading it thought through the oddity of such an Indian name with "Elizabeth" stuck in the middle, but we sure thought it was hilarious.

[Yarjka]

My new daughter got two middle names ... I guess it's just one more way I'm being different. I've never heard about this no middle name for females before. How silly it seems.

[Sky Bones]

I'll admit that I hadn't heard of the "no middle name for girls" thing until I went to Utah (and I'm from the East Coast). I think it's silly, too. Middle names are awesome and can often make for some amazing initials. I also had absolutely no problem completely dropping my maiden name when I got married, but kept my middle name. It's worked out great for me so far.

[Imogen]

NerdGirl, that's really funny. I actually had a friend who was sad about not having a middle name as well. She was Indian - born in India - so her first and last name were rather . . . non-American. She decided that since her initials were R.M., she would be R. Elizabeth M. so she could be REM. Since I was editor of the yearbook, and she was on staff with me, we made it say that in our Senior yearbook. I don't know if anyone reading it thought through the oddity of such an Indian name with "Elizabeth" stuck in the middle, but we sure thought it was hilarious.

i have two very ethnic names (iranian first and last name), and elizabeth is my middle name because it's my mom's middle name. and my initials are R.E.M. as well.

i'm not planning to use my maiden name as my middle name. it's long and hard to spell and pronounce, so it'll get dropped if i ever get married, unless my first name doesn't go with my husband's last name. then i'll keep mine. i am very particular about names, and i don't want mine to sound dumb.

[Marduk]

So, I'm a little confused.... Why does one need to drop any name upon getting married? If a person can have two middle names, why not a first name, a middle name, a maiden name, and a married name? I'm from Utah, and I've honestly never heard of not giving a girl a middle name. I have three brothers and two sisters, and we all have middle names. All of my cousins, male and female, have middle names. To me, having a middle name is just something that everyone has.

[NerdGirl]

i have two very ethnic names (iranian first and last name), and elizabeth is my middle name because it's my mom's middle name. and my initials are R.E.M. as well.

My middle name is also Elizabeth and my last name starts with an M!

[TheAnswerIs42]

Marduk, I was with you until I moved here. Not everyone does it, but I do know a lot of people who seem to think it is standard to only give boys middle names. The only people I know who are adamant about it is my in-laws. I'm so happy to hear you all think they are crazy too.

BTW, in my family, the only one without a middle name is one of my brothers. He was the fourth boy in a row, and my mom was so sure he was a girl that she didn't pick out a boy name (back before ultrasounds, obviously). It took them three weeks to come up with a name, and at that point the first name is all he got.

[bobtheenchantedone]

My last name does not start with M, but my middle name is also Elisabeth! Only with an S, not a Z.