Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

I spend a lot of time in the garden and doing yardwork. I have found that certain plants are more apt to give me a rash than other plants. My wife has been told by a dermatologist that she needs to use a sunscreen with ZnO, because the rash she gets is caused by the sun. She also wears long sleeve shirts despite the hot weather.

I think Hypatia has it spot on. I went over to the garden today and picked a couple of cucumbers and within seconds, my arms started itching. Then I spotted two zucchinis that had hidden from me and I figured, what the heck? My arms are already itchy. So I dug into the zucchini plant. The intense itching that followed was totally worth it. Those zucchinis were each the LENGTH OF MY ENTIRE ARM! It's seriously ridiculous.

Zucchini plants have a way of producing more than a person can use.

The story is told of a non-Mormon who came to visit her Mormon friend in a Mormon community. As the Mormon friend had some errands to run she invited her non-Mormon friend to accompany her. They made a stop at a local store. The non-Mormon friend was surprised that the Mormon lady did not lock her car doors. "No need. No one would steal anything in my car or steal my car." And that was the way it was at every stop she made that day.

The next day they went to church together. This time the lady made sure that the windows were up and the car doors were locked at the church building. "Why do you lock your car here? I would think that your car would be safe in the church parking lot on a Sunday!"

The woman replied, "Oh, that's so that the others don't throw their extra zucchini into my backseat!"

Um, Dragon Lady, you do know that the bigger the zucchini is, the less flavorful it is, right? I learned that the hard way a long time ago.

TheAnswerIs42 wrote:Um, Dragon Lady, you do know that the bigger the zucchini is, the less flavorful it is, right? I learned that the hard way a long time ago.

Same with squash. Best to pick before they get especially hard and hollow.

Strawberry plants give my hands rashes like no other can. I think they somehow instinctively "know" that I've come to steal their progeny, and so they excrete some sort of chemical. Bleck.

Speaking of squash, does anybody know what varieties of squash would be very yellow-orangeish and sweet (once cooked)? In Argentina they always gave us this yellowy squash -- they called it zapallo -- and it was heavenly. (It might've been butternut squash, but I don't think so.)

TheAnswerIs42 wrote:Um, Dragon Lady, you do know that the bigger the zucchini is, the less flavorful it is, right? I learned that the hard way a long time ago.

Yes, yes, I do. Which is why they only got that big because they were hidden. I've been doing a very good job at picking them small, except these two I think just wanted to prove the point that they are smarter than I am and that zucchini, if given the chance, would take over the world. Mormons seem to be helping them along with that goal…

And for what it's worth, I cut that sucker in half today and made stuffed zucchini and invited Hypatia over for dinner. (Cuz I had never met her and it seems like we should be friends.) She had two helpings. So did Yellow. (I only had one because 1) I ate really slow thanks to feeding Dragon Baby at the same time (or rather, picking up the food she threw on the floor) and also because I talk to much and 2) I don't each very much. My tummy is tiny.) And they both told me how good it was. Which is good, because the filling made more than I could use, so I'll be making the other half up really soon so that I can eat the other half of that giant zucchini.

Anyway, point is, I guess it was still flavorful enough. Also, the novelty of it is what makes it SO AWESOME! I'd show you a picture, but I don't feel like putting a paper bag on my face. If you know my real life blog, you can see it there.

The gigantic zucchini was indeed delicious!

Also, I had the craziest dream about Dragon Lady and her pumpkin plant last night. In my dream, her pumpkin plant had grown up onto the roof of her brother's house and sprouted no less than twenty ginormous pumpkins. She wouldn't believe me that pumpkins were growing on the roof so I had to sneak over to her neighbor's house, climb up on their roof and take pictures of the pumpkins.

Does anyone know if abnormally large zucchinis cause strange dreams?

Are you sure it was the abnormally large zucchini that caused the dream? Or could it possibly have been the pumpkin plant that is trying to take over the world?