Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

The speculation in the other thread has got me wondering if it really is more likely for a couple to live closer to the wife's family than to the husband's. I think it would be hard to measure which spouse wants to more, but at least we can measure which spouse does.

Please include information about (1) yourself (if married), (2) your parents (and spouse's parents), (3) married siblings (and spouse's married siblings), and (4) married children.

For purposes of this survey, please state if the couple lives less than 10 miles from wife or husband's parents, more than 10 but less than 100 miles, or more than 100 miles away. You can include any explanatory information that you think is necessary, such as "we live close to my parents, but they're currently on a mission" and you can also include information about where people lived prior to a divorce or a death.

My data:

Parents: less than 10 miles from wife's parents, more than 100 miles from husband's parents

My parents are both more than 100 miles from their respective parents.

When I get married, we will both be more than 100 miles from our parents and do not plan to move within 100 miles of either of them. Then again, his parents live in another country, so no matter what we will be closer to mine.

Can I ask where his parents live (just out of curiosity)?

1) My parents live further than 100 miles away. My husband's live ~10 miles away.
2) My parents live further than 100 miles away from both sets of grandparents. My husband's grandparents are all dead, but his maternal grandpa lived with the family before he died and his second wife lives less than 10 miles away from us and my mother-in-law.
3) My sister lives further than 100 miles away from both parents, but her in-laws have a condo they stay in when they visit (about 10 miles away). Both of my sisters-in-law live less than 100 miles away from both their parents and their in-laws

My paternal grandparents live within eyesight of my parent's house. My maternal grandparents, if they were still alive, would be over 1000 miles away. My sister lives over 1000 miles from my parents but less than 100 miles from her husband's parents. My brother-in-law's sister lives a little more than 100 miles from their parents, but I'm not sure about her husband.

My parents live (much, much) less than 100 miles away from my dad's parents, and over 100 away from my mom's parents.

It may be of note to say that my mother swore she would never live in Utah for various reasons... yet here she is.

bobtheenchantedone wrote:My parents live (much, much) less than 100 miles away from my dad's parents

Less than 10 miles?

About ten.

As for me, my folks live greater than 1000 miles from my (now 3/4 deceased) grandparents. His were in Canada, hers are (and were) in Houston.
My oldest sister lives less than ten away from both sets of parents, who incidentally live less than a block apart.
Next brother lives in Houston, greater than 1000 away from his parents, but SHE lives WITH my parents. Her parents are in Japan.
Next is greater than 1000 from both sets; Dallas, and both parental sets live in Utah.
Next is about ten from both sets, again, who live just over a block apart.
Last two (including me, obviously) are not married.

Me: We live 2000 miles from my parents, and 10.37 miles from his parents (thank you, mapquest).

Hubby's parents: 3.64 from her parents, and 300 miles from his when they were alive.

My parents: 2000 miles from her parents and 600 miles from his parents when they were alive (though my family moved around a few times, they have never lived within 4 hours drive of any other relatives)

Hubby's siblings: All 6 of them will live within Salt Lake or Utah County as of this summer. Only two have a spouse whose parents live outside of Utah County (One is from California, the other Columbia). To actually answer the question better, 3 of them live 10-100 from both parents, 1 lives 15 miles from her parents but 200 from his, and one moved in with my mother-in-law (0 miles!) and lives thousands of miles from his family. (One of the six isn't married.)

My brothers: One lives close to both sets of parents (15 miles?). One is not married, but is also 15 miles from my parents. The other three brothers live 2000 miles from my parents. Of those, one is close to her parents (they didnt' start out that way, but the parensts moved them up so she could help with mom's alzeimer's), one is 300 miles from her parents, and one is 2000 miles from her parents.

My parents: Currently live much closer to female's parents. This changed a lot over the course of the marriage, though, as the male's job required frequent relocation. Live more than 100 miles from both female and male's parents.

My eldest sister: Currently live within 100 miles of female's parents. Male's parents live over 100 miles away.

My brother: Currently live within 100 miles of male's parents. Lived WITH the female's parents until last year when her parents moved over 100 miles away.

My little sister: Currently live within 100 miles of both male and female's parents. Approximately equidistant.

My parents live over 2000 miles from my dad's parents and over 1000 miles from my mom's family. My sister and her husband both live over 1000 miles from both of their parents as well. However, my parents are the abnormal ones in my family, all of my mom's siblings live within 100 miles, with the majority living within 10 miles from their parents. And my dad's family mostly live near his parents, with him and his sister (who lives over 8500 miles away) being the exceptions.

My father lives slightly over 100 miles from his parents.
My married sister lives slightly over 100 miles from our parents, and 100 miles from her husband's parents.
My mother lives slightly over 1000 miles from her parents.

I have way more info than you asked for, since I know the distances of several aunts and uncles too. If you don't want it, you can disregard it.
Aunt and Uncle 1 live somewhat more than 10 miles from both sets of parents.
Aunt and Uncle 2 live somewhat more than 10 miles from both sets of parents.
Aunt and Uncle 3 live less than 10 miles from both sets of parents.
Aunt and Uncle 4 live less than 10 miles from her parents, 1000 miles from his. (They live next door to A&U 3.)

That was my dad's side. My mom's side:

Aunt and Uncle 5 live 1000 miles from her parents, 2000 miles from his.
Aunt and Uncle 6 live 1000 miles from his parents, less than 10 from hers. (They live next door to A&U 5. I think her mother moved to UT to be closer to her family.)
Aunt and Uncle 7 live 1000 miles from her parents, over 100 from his.
Aunt and Uncle 8 live 1000 miles from his parents, and 1000 miles from hers. (They are in school right now. Who knows where they will move when they're done with that.)

There are more aunts and uncles on both sides, but I don't always pay attention to where my mom and dad's siblings' spouses are from, so I didn't include them in the list.

My dad lives more than 100 miles from his parents.
My mom is deceased, but she lived her adult life more than 100 miles from her parents.
My dad's three married brothers all live more than 100 miles from their parents and their wives' parents.
My mom's married sister lives more than 100 miles from her parents and within 10 miles of her husband's parents.
My mom's married brother lives more than 100 miles from either his parents or hers.
My stepmom lives less than 10 miles from her mom.
My stepsister lives less than 10 miles from her mom and more than 100 miles from her dad. Her husband lives less than 100 miles away from his mom. (His dad is deceased.)
My stepbrother (engaged) lives less than 10 miles from his mom and more than 100 miles from his dad. (I don't know anything about his fiance's family.)

None of the relatives in question are LDS, and the presence of stepfamilies and divorces and deaths makes my family a bit atypical anyway.

This wasn't part of the survey, but other than me and my sister (who live 4000 and 200 miles from our dad, respectively), most of my unmarried relatives live close to their parents.

I wanted to get more precise figures for my own personal amusement...so here they are:

My parents are 1200 miles away.
His parents are 30 miles away.

My parents have always lived very far (1000+ miles) from each of their parents, all of whom are now deceased.
His parents live within 10 miles of his maternal grandparents, and about 200 miles from his paternal grandparents.

My married sister lives about 1200 miles from my parents (and 2300 miles from her husband's parents).

His married sister lives about 2000 miles from her parents (and in-laws).
His oldest married brother lives 700 miles away from his parents (I don't know where his wife is from).
His other married brother lives within 10 miles of his parents (and his wife's parents are 800 miles away).

Uh, we're all pretty scattered.

1) We live more than 10, but less than 100 miles from Yellow's parents.
We live more than 100 miles away from my parents. (Typically 265 miles, but currently 2,182, as they're on a mission.)

2) My parents lived less than 10 miles from my dad's parents (next door) for most of their married life.
My parents lived 12 miles from my mom's parents (So I suppose that's technically more than 10, but less than 100, but that seems silly.)

Yellow's parents lived more than 100 miles away from his dad's parents while they both lived, but now Nana takes turns living with all of her kids, so she lives with Yellow's parents for the summer months.
Yellow's parents lived more than 100 miles away from his mom's parents for most of their married life, but in the last couple of years they moved less than 10 miles away.

3) My oldest brother lives more than 100 miles away from both sets of parents.
My oldest sister lives more than 100 miles away from both sets of parents (but are hoping to move less than 10 miles away from his parents).
My youngest brother (who is still older than me) lives less than 10 miles away from his parents (usually. Now my parents are on a mission, but he's living in their house) and more than 100 from her parents.

Yellow has no married siblings.

Conclusion: My family always lives closer to the husband's parents (even though you can't see it sometimes since both parent's live more than 100 miles away).

Katya wrote:Can I ask where his parents live (just out of curiosity)?

Russia (I know, so specific!).

These are interesting stats! I thought I'd add one more from my family. My brother and his wife live more than 100 miles away from my parents, but about two blocks away from hers. They plan on moving "some day."

OK, here's the breakdown thus far:

Women - 21% live within (or close to) 10 miles of parents, 21% live from 10-100 miles of parents, 58% live more than 100 miles from parents

Men - 19% live within (or close to) 10 miles of parents, 30% live from 10-100 miles of parents, 51% live more than 100 miles from parents

So, women are slightly more likely to live very close to their parents, but men are much more likely to live somewhat close to their parents, although the majority (in both groups) live very far from their parents.

My wife and I live 45 miles from my parents and 250 miles from my wife's parents

My parents live five miles from my dad's parents (at the time my grandparents died) and 150 miles from my mom's parents, 930 miles from their winter home in Yuma.

My in-laws live three miles from my father-in-law's parents and 1,189 miles from my mother-in-law's parents.

My mom's parents lived ten feet from my grandpa's father (my grandpa has lived his entire life in the same house and great grandpa lived in the basement until he died) and grandma lived 1,889 miles from her parents when they died.

My dad's parents lived one-half mile from their parents, both sets of great-grandparents on my dad's side were next-door neighbors for over sixty years. Pretty sweet deal, eh? My great-grandpas were best friends.

It appears that the women in my family are the adventurous ones, while the men like to stay close to home.

I wonder if our dads and grandpas tended to live close to their parents because they often took over the family businesses? I know we lived next door to my dad's parents because my dad took over the family farm. My brother lives close to my parents because he's a farmer at heart and loves that area. He'd probably be a hobby farmer if his wife would ever let him. Which she won't. So living near it is the best he'll get. Is that true for anyone else?

If it is true for older generations, I wonder how much it'll change with our generation and younger, who, I think, are less likely to take over family businesses and more likely to go live their own lives.

Dragon Lady wrote:I wonder if our dads and grandpas tended to live close to their parents because they often took over the family businesses?

This is true for my in-laws...except in reverse. One of the kids started a business, and eventually it got so big that the father quit his job to go work there.