Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Part of the reason I waited so long is that I was on vacation, part of the reason was it seemed people wanted a break, and part of the reason was the topic I wanted to do might seem offensive to people, especially 'round these parts. But I'm going to do it anyways, and I don't find it the least bit offensive. If you do, my apologies, and I'll make you dinner.

The topic for this round is Jesus. The lyrics must include the name "Jesus" in them, BUT must not be religious or spiritual as their primary theme. In other words, nothing one would hear in a sacrament meeting (or primary, or relief society) nothing one would find in the "Christian" or "Christian rock" or "alternative Christian" sections of the record store, etc.

Our sample (and my first entry) comes to us from The Killers, a little song called "When You Were Young":

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young"

The first round ends tomorrow (May 17th) at midnight.

"Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer! Look down, look down . . ."

-Look Down (Les Mis)

"Jesus he knows me, and he knows I'm right. I've been talking to Jesus all my life."

Genesis, "Jesus He Knows Me"

Aw, Duckie, thank you for not stealing this one song from me!

"Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Who are you? What have you sacrificed?"

--Jesus Christ Superstar

I think the song title is the same as the musical--I only know these lyrics because we sang an Andrew Lloyd Weber medley in high school choir, after all.

"Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?"

U2, "One"

"Wo wo wo, Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know."
--Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel

"But what about me dads? What about me? JESUS CHRIST! What about me?"

"Woe is Me" 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

First round being extended through today. Come on guys, we need more participation!

"Every Judas once had a Jesus"
-- The Riddle, The Scarlet Pimpernel musical

"Jesus is my virtue. And Judas is the demon I cling to"

-"Judas" Lady Gaga

"Your own personal Jesus. Someone to hear your prayers. Someone who cares."

Depeche Mode, "Personal Jesus"

Seriously, Duckie, having no religious music makes this round almost impossible. This song may or may not count, but I'm going to try it anyway.

"Steal away, steal away, steal away to Jesus. I ain't got long to stay here."

--"Steal Away"

"Jesus can you take the time to throw a drowning man a line?"

U2, "Peace on Earth"

"Don't hide under a bushel, or whatever it is my baby used to say. Jesus knows what's up!"

-"911 Emergency" Bare: a Rock Opera

"Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright oh yeah"

-Doobie Brothers, "Jesus is just alright"

So, I finally thought of a song or two for this. But I'm pretty sure I only have four words each, so ... there's a reason I never joined this round.

Well, the last person played on May 20th. That was 5 days ago. So maybe you all tied?