Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

So I'm going to a friend's family Christmas party next week. Tradition has a white elephant exchange at said party and I don't know what to bring. My friend thinks it would be hilarious if I brought the plaster molds of my feet that i have, but i'd like to bring something less strange. I mean, I've already had some awkward introductions to this family, and I don't need to be remembered as the girl that brought feet to the Christmas party that one year.

What kinds of things would you bring to a white elephant exchange?

A chia pet? Maybe a framed, autographed picture of yourself?

A white elephant. What? You don't think there should be somebody who actually brings a white elephant to a white elephant gift exchange? Well, then let's compromise and you bring a copy of "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway to the party.

You should ask your friend how that white elephant runs. I mean, we are going to a party tonight that is known for hilarious objects - people honestly keep their eyes open all year for something totally random and funny to bring. But I have been to others that are much more subdued. Maybe talk to your friend more about what sorts of things people have brought in the past - your plaster molds of feet might not be that out of place. They would fit right in at ours tonight.

My favorite option is to make a white elephant out of white towels. You can find instructions online. I usually do a white body with blue ears and trunk. You can glue them together, but I often opt to just use rubber bands and ribbon to hold it all together, so that if someone decides to actually use the towels, they can.

I hate gross ones. Or trashy ones (either meaning). Best white elephant I ever got was a pack of new bobby pins.

Tao (I'm pretty sure it was him, not Rating Pending) once brought an awesome one to a Board white elephant exchange. I don't remember details, but I remember it was something about a snowman. There were bowls of water, an old carrot, some coal, etc. But I remember it being more awesome than that and laughing quite heartily and thinking about how creative he was. Tao, if it was you, would you enlighten us?

I was going to mention that same one! Yes, it was definitely Tao, and it was the most awesome white elephant gift I've ever seen. I can't remember all the details, though, but it was quite intricate.

I need to post the picture on my blog, but my coworker, for her gift, brought a "Shave Me Barbie" where she put in a pink disposable razor, cut the Barbie's hair to about her chin and then glued the hair on the Barbie's arms (and arm pits), legs, chest and, yes, even face. It was horrifying AND funny. I'm still laughing thinking about it. But that is maybe for a group you know really well....

I think for our family party tomorrow we're going to take my old Calculus book. I just realized tonight that we need two gifts, though (one for each of us) and I'm stumped. I simply don't have the energy for creativity right now. I blame pregnancy in part, but mostly this horrible cold.

Would someone please get on the ball and cure the common cold? Please? And not as a white elephant gift.

Something fun and possibly useful in a small way: a huge pack of glow sticks (I did this once and they wound up with my brother, who then proceeded to have "light-saber fights" with his six-month-old son. It was adorable)

Something hilarious, cheap, and not overly wasteful: These are my dad's favorites. The first is an empty jar or bottle with a label for "Dehydrated H2O: Just add water!" The second is a can of beans with the label covered by a new one that reads "Poor Man's Bubble Bath," with instructions for use- consume at least one helping approximately one hour before bathing.

Tonight we gave a Calculus book and a "Cooking for Dummies" cookbook. Both of which have been in our house for years and I was finally going to give them to DI. White Elephant party came up first, though. Yellow got BodMan products. I got a snowman bowl that is actually really cute and I'm happy to add to my collection. Dragon Baby stole hers from another person. It had a whisk, a Spongebob washcloth, a couple other random things, and the thing that really clinched it for her to make her want to steal it (even above the dog on the sled that rocked back and forth and sang, even!) …. a sucker. Seriously. That girl is a sucker for suckers. We'll probably re-gift everything at our other party on Monday. Except the bowl. And the sucker, of course. That's already been eaten.

The favorite gift of the night, though? The Foot Flush. It was the only gift that got stolen twice. Yellow's brother got it. I think he will utilize it best.

With packing light, the plaster feet just didn't make it into the car. But my friend's mom had a couple things to give. Her son was annoyed, as they were a baking dish and nativity set, nothing obnoxious. There was a fair amount of silliness and good stuff mixed together. I ended up with a NBA licensed 200 chip poker set.

chillygator wrote:I need to post the picture on my blog, but my coworker, for her gift, brought a "Shave Me Barbie" where she put in a pink disposable razor, cut the Barbie's hair to about her chin and then glued the hair on the Barbie's arms (and arm pits), legs, chest and, yes, even face. It was horrifying AND funny. I'm still laughing thinking about it. But that is maybe for a group you know really well....

I am SO doing that next time.

Actually, at our party, two different people did the "Shave with Me Barbie". I guess that idea is making the rounds . . .

Not as a "White Elephant" gift, but last year, I gave my brother a roll of bubble wrap. He loved it.

Dragon Lady wrote:Tao (I'm pretty sure it was him, not Rating Pending) once brought an awesome one to a Board white elephant exchange. I don't remember details, but I remember it was something about a snowman. There were bowls of water, an old carrot, some coal, etc. But I remember it being more awesome than that and laughing quite heartily and thinking about how creative he was. Tao, if it was you, would you enlighten us?

Aye, that was me. I'm not even sure what all I did, as I pretty much came up with things on the fly, and wanted the end result to be useful. The part that you're remembering was the snowman kit; tupperware with coal, water (optional, I guess, if you don't trust your tupperware or your potential gift-shakers), a carrot and a note hamming up the new and improved instant snow man. (just add cold [and/or water{and I seem to remember the coal was shot by that point, you might want to replace them too.|Carrots not for eating. *All rights reserved.*|}]).

I don't remember what all else went into the gift, there were washcloths, tupperware, and various other knick-knacks that I figured any student could put to use. (duct-tape? sans duck?) I do remember I made it to the very end of the round with a PG Wodehouse book that got snagged last moment and I ended up with an Itunes gift card instead.

Oh sure. NOW you post it. Hours after my last white elephant gift exchange of the year. Well, at least now I have it for next year.

My friends and I did an "As Seen on TV" White Elephant party, and I ended up with a Ped=Egg that my nail girl said I'm not allowed to use because it will tear up my feet. So I'm gonna re-gift it next year.