Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Dear <,
http://www.amazon.com/Annie-Chuns-Noodl ... B000E123IM This. I ate one of these about an hour ago despite the plastic pack of noodles having probably some sort of tear/hole in the package. It was slightly leaky. And now I'm afraid that I will die in the night. Or be violently sick.

What are the chances that I'm actually OK and that it's not going to kill me?

-YiN

Dear Ms. Pan,

YOU'RE DOOMED.

Actually, I'd say depends on where you bought it. If you bought it in the backroom of the local Asian fresh fish market, I'd say your chances of death were pretty bad. However, if you bought it at your local neighborhood Wal-mart/whatever they have where you are, then YOU'RE EVEN WORSE OFF.

I mean, come on! Have you never seen the little grimy kids running all over the store, putting their hands on everything? Everywhere you look, there's another little punk kid feeling up your bowl of ramen-for-rich-man.

Srsly. C'mon, Yog. Admit it. Breath with me.

Okay, so you're not really that bad off. The worse that happens is you will be violently sick in the night. That sucks, but it's over in a day. However, I've never eaten one, but I assume your situation was better.

I'm making several assumptions.
1) You've eaten an "Annie Chun's Noodle Bowl" before without any ill effects.
2) The punctured noodle package was inside the bowl, not outside exposed to grimy-kid-hands or the like.
3) ...Okay. That's all I've got. However, I'd make an educated guess and say that if your noodles were in a package in the bowl, then especially don't worry, or else you would have gotten sick every time you ate something of Ms. Chun's. On the other hand, if the noodles were exposed to the elements, look at the number of preservatives in the soup. Look at the expiration date. Think of how many restaurants you've been to without getting sick. And don't worry about it!

However, if you do get sick,

Gio's guide to fighting off nausea:

Eat a candy cane. Peppermint seriously makes nausea go away. I've used it many a time.
After you eat a candy can (or peppermint lifesavers or whatever), then stay hydrated. As one of my mission companions said "If you're sick, just pee it out."
Take a nap. It's amazing what a nap can do for you (sick or not).

Yeah. That's about all I've got now. I hope you appreciate my overly-long answer to your question, which is obviously a matter of life and death.

Love,

Gio

EDIT: DOOD, and you're nuking them in the microwave! That'll fry just about anything that's living. Unless it was a c***roach. Or various microwave resistant strains of bacteria, including e. coli, salmonella, bird flu, zombie virus...

If it didn't smell or taste bad and it wasn't a funny color and it didn't have stuff visibly growing in it, then there's a good chance the tear happened fairly recently and you'll probably be fine. The worst thing that will probably happen is that you'll get diarrhea or throw up a few times. Stay hydrated if those things happen. If the diarrhea or vomit starts having blood in it, or if you feel dizzy or your heart rate gets fast, go to the ER. But really, you'll probably be fine. If it didn't taste like it was full of badness, then it's not very likely that there was enough stuff growing in it to make you sick (the preceding statement should, however, only be applied to food in packages like this and not to things like deviled eggs that were sitting out in the sun all day long, which can and will give you food poisoning without tasting like they've gone bad).

Pretty unlikely. Food poisoning is very unlikely to occur with dehydrated foods, as the bacteria can't grow. Also, many kinds of food poisoning are avoided by cooking food completely, such as boiling water, leaving only one kind that won't, but it requires a warm, damp environment to grow enough to produce enough toxin to actually cause problems.

The mostly likely problem would come from some kind of chemical poisoning, but I think that that is pretty unlikely as well.

I give you a 90% chance of nothing. And even if there is some kind of problem with it, the most likely is a touch of diarrhea. The body is pretty good at protecting itself.

NerdGirl wrote:(the preceding statement should, however, only be applied to food in packages like this and not to things like deviled eggs that were sitting out in the sun all day long, which can and will give you food poisoning without tasting like they've gone bad).

Are you speaking from experience?

So, Yog, are you alive and well??

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:

NerdGirl wrote:(the preceding statement should, however, only be applied to food in packages like this and not to things like deviled eggs that were sitting out in the sun all day long, which can and will give you food poisoning without tasting like they've gone bad).

Are you speaking from experience?

Yes I am. And it was quite a disturbing experience that involved throwing up while in the bathtub.

Eww.

I'm assuming there was also worship of the porcelain goddess going on.

Yes, the porcelain goddess received many ceremonial offerings that day. And my roommate was at the same wedding reception where the eggs were, so we were both worshiping.

mic0 wrote:So, Yog, are you alive and well??

Yup, I was totally just fine! I'm so tired, or I'd actually add to this conversation. Ehhhh sleep