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Re: New missionary age
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:16 am
by Digit
When I think of crazy parents it reminds me of
AP Frank in the book
The Overachievers. If you follow that link and Ctrl+F "AP FRANK, COLLEGE FRESHMAN | PERCEIVED AS: THE WORKHORSE", there's a pretty long section from the book. Korean mom, white dad. Dad's a wallflower. Mom makes him study practically every second at home, take all AP classes (not all
his AP classes, all
the AP classes; mom argued with the principal why there's no AP PE so he could have a perfect 5.0 unweighted GPA), jump down his throat if he ever gets an A-, was "horrified" at his 1570 SAT, made him retake it (luckily he got the 1600 the second time), etc...
One section from the book:
Alexandra Robbins wrote:If the brothers so much as looked up from their homework for more than a passing glance, she snapped at them to return to their studies. Even when they stood up to go to the bathroom or to grab a glass of orange juice from the kitchen, if they were out of range for longer than five or ten minutes, she reeled them back in. They could not chat on the phone; she screened their calls. They could not watch non-news television; she deemed it “junk.” They could not go out with friends; she did not approve of social activities. In Mrs. AP Frank’s household, which was small and cluttered—perhaps only twenty-four square inches of the dining room table were visible—there was no idle computer time, no athletics. Mrs. AP Frank was “against extracurriculars,” including sports, that “won’t get you into medicine or law.”
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:40 am
by Giovanni Schwartz
Oh, Asians.
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:18 am
by Yarjka
I happened to be at a park with my daughter at the same time as a gay dads group with their kids. My daughter and I ended up joining in with their activities and we all had lots of fun. It kind of made me wish I was a gay dad.
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:09 am
by Whistler
did you find their parenting style significantly different?
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:29 am
by Yarjka
Whistler wrote:did you find their parenting style significantly different?
Not really. They treated their kids the same way I treat mine. The difference was in their sense of openness--inviting me to join their group and being extremely outgoing and sociable. Of course, this was a play group specifically, so of course these parents were actively engaging in play rather than the usual parenting I see at the park, which consists of pushing the swing while texting someone, or looking up occasionally when the kid in the sandbox needs something.
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:36 pm
by S.A.M.
Yarjka wrote:Whistler wrote:did you find their parenting style significantly different?
Not really. They treated their kids the same way I treat mine. The difference was in their sense of openness--inviting me to join their group and being extremely outgoing and sociable. Of course, this was a play group specifically, so of course these parents were actively engaging in play rather than the usual parenting I see at the park, which consists of pushing the swing while texting someone, or looking up occasionally when the kid in the sandbox needs something.
Perhaps the group treated their kids well (the way you treat yours is well, I hope!) because they have to make an active choice to become a parent, and value that role more than some traditional parents (yes, I am stereotyping). For a gay couple, there can't really be an 'oops', or 'surprise', we're pregrant moment. Adoptive parents, gay or straight, may put more effort into the parental role.
Re: New missionary age
Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 3:24 pm
by Portia
S.A.M. wrote:Yarjka wrote:Whistler wrote:did you find their parenting style significantly different?
Not really. They treated their kids the same way I treat mine. The difference was in their sense of openness--inviting me to join their group and being extremely outgoing and sociable. Of course, this was a play group specifically, so of course these parents were actively engaging in play rather than the usual parenting I see at the park, which consists of pushing the swing while texting someone, or looking up occasionally when the kid in the sandbox needs something.
Perhaps the group treated their kids well (the way you treat yours is well, I hope!) because they have to make an active choice to become a parent, and value that role more than some traditional parents (yes, I am stereotyping). For a gay couple, there can't really be an 'oops', or 'surprise', we're pregrant moment. Adoptive parents, gay or straight, may put more effort into the parental role.
I'd love to see numbers, broken down for lesbian and gay couples, as to what percentage of parents have children through adoption, surrogacy, a biological child from a previous (heterosexual) relationship or sexual encounter, etc. My impression is the breakdown is different along class lines, just as it is for straight couples.