Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

MSJ's funny (or heart-touching) plane stories are awesome! I've only ridden on a plane twice (well, four times--two round trips), so I don't have any cool stories. Does anyone else want to share some funny travel stories?

Also: Stowaway magazine--which is a travel magazine made by editing students at BYU for a capstone course--has a contest for travel stories and photographs, and the deadline is October 19th! (I'm in the class.) I'm pretty sure there are prizes for winners, and getting published is a pretty good prize, too. Check it out if you're interested; here's a link with more info.

Thanks so much! It was great to look through my past year's travel photos, and I'm always looking for writing contests (sans entry fee? even better).

Is it a funny plane story if I got left in the kid jail for so long that I missed my flight, thus triggering cross-country phone calls between my parents and various airports when I was reading the whole time?

Flight attendants forgot me....damn them.

Kid jail?

When I was 12 I flew by myself to visit my brother. Another brother had gotten back from a trip a few weeks earlier, and commented that he was bummed that he almost got bumped (he wanted the free ticket they offered to volunteers). So when I had a frantic morning getting to the airport to get home and ( once on the plane) they asked for volunteers to get off, I figured that was a great idea. I walked out with another family, and the attendants thought I was with them. I was excited to spend more time with my brother before the next flight out. (Twelve year olds are so smart.)

Only my brother had already gone home, the testy flight agent was rude to me and wouldn't help me find out when I could go home, the payphone wouldn't work for me, and I ended up holding my Teddy bear and crying in an airport all alone.

Oh, and there was this other time when I puked on the plane and the flight attendant let me sit in first class so I could feel better, but the guy next to me was sleeping when I sat down and shocked/not happy to see me when he woke up.

And another time, I was feeling sick when I was getting on the plane, but I was trying to wait until I got to my seat so I could puke in my own airsick bag. I failed and puked on the carpet in the aisle.

How about the time that I flew all the way to China and back and never saw the ocean? And, ironically, lived 4 months in a city only known for being the furthest city in the world from an ocean?

I feel like I have a throw up story, too. But I'm pretty sure it's been blocked from my memory...

42, kid jail is where they keep the unaccompanied minors who have long layovers in their connecting cities.

I hated kid jail.

You know how those little hand strength grippers look like cartoon sticks of dynamite when viewed through an airport security X-ray machine? Yeah.

You're the best, Marduk!

Dragon Lady wrote:You're the best, Marduk!

A propos of . . .?

Portia wrote:

Dragon Lady wrote:You're the best, Marduk!

A propos of . . .?

Is it ever NOT true?

In this case, the amazing Marduk moved this to the "in the news" thread:

Dragon Lady wrote:"Chocolate consumption could hypothetically improve cognitive function not only in individuals but in whole populations."

And he deleted the request from Dragon Lady to do so. So fast, so responsive!

Yay Marduk!

(I'm in here far too much)

Be careful that you not reveal too many secrets, S.A.M.

I am always watching.

Digit wrote:You know how those little hand strength grippers look like cartoon sticks of dynamite when viewed through an airport security X-ray machine? Yeah.

Wow. You're right.

Marduk wrote:I am always watching.

!! Sounds like my mom.

Digit wrote:You know how those little hand strength grippers look like cartoon sticks of dynamite when viewed through an airport security X-ray machine? Yeah.

My cousin once had the same issue with a roll of quarters inside a metal pipe. (It was the final prize in a campus-wide scavenger hunt her brother had set up for her.) The ends were capped and she couldn't get it open, so she threw it in her luggage to bring it home for Christmas, in the hopes that someone at home would have the tools to pry it open. Unfortunately, it looked like a pipe bomb on the X-ray scanner.

Every flight I try my hardest not to puke and try not to think about puking and just hope we don't hit turbulence. I have no good flight stories, unless you count not quite puking a good story.

Marduk, it makes me happy that you left my praise in here with no backstory. It makes me picture your head growing just a tad. Which makes me laugh. Also, it's totally something I would have done were I in your shoes.

Can I resurrect this thread? I wanted to tell two stories. First, last Thanksgiving, we went to visit my parents in Colorado. Every one of my parents, my five siblings and their spouses, and all of their kids had gone through or was going through the stomach flu when we arrived. My little family was to leave for the airport at 4 a.m. the Monday after Thanksgiving, and both Sauron and I woke up with achey stomachs. Getting in the car to go, Sauron said, "Excuse me," and ran off into the bushes to barf. On the car ride, I puked in a plastic bag. At the airport, I puked in the toilet. On the plane, I asked for a trash bag. I barfed loudly and visibly on the plane. Everybody gave us the nastiest looks, and I don't blame them. And then my son puked. My daughter didn't until we got home, though. We all just laid on the couch groaning and watching TV until it was a reasonable bedtime.

And this past March, I went to go visit my family sans husband and kids, and I only had a carry-on. My mom was sending me back with a few wrapped Easter and birthday presents, and I specifically asked her if there was anything unfit for a carry-on. She assured me that it was just candy and such. Well when I went through security, the guard at the scanner started calling other guards to come look. I was told they needed to search my bags, and they started to open all of the presents. They opened the last one, and it was a big fatty pocket knife (open, as it was still in the display packaging) that my dad had picked out as a birthday gift for Sauron. My dad is not a gift-picking type. I had to throw it away. It was a sad moment, and ever since then Sauron likes to point out to my parents times that a pocket knife would come in handy.