If A Guy...

[Zedability]

I don't want to pick out my ring. I have a few things I specifically hate, and then I'm totally okay with like >95% of the rings I've seen. I feel like I could just make a list of qualities to avoid and qualities to look for, and any salesperson could pick out something that fits my very loose criteria.

And my perfect proposal is pretty much one that happens. Seriously. I don't care how big of a spectacle it is or how cute it is - he could propose on the way home from class with a Ring Pop, and I'd still say yes if I wanted to marry him. How the proposal happens isn't actually going to change my mind about my answer.

[Portia]

if he asks you over a text and thinks it counts as a date, he's a loser.

What if he proposes marriage via text? :P

[Genuine Article]

@Genuine I seem to recall you saying that he tricked you into being engaged...

I really had to be led along for a lot of our relationship. Basically he exploited the opportunity when I admitted that I pictured us ending up married.

[Tally M.]

How the proposal happens isn't actually going to change my mind about my answer.

You make a good point. I don't think I'd change my mind either if he just asked me. (Though I'd prefer it if he did something special.)

[Tally M.]

I'm in the middle of the Wilk eating lunch and a chip just fell my shirt. I don't know how to unawkwardly fish it out.

[mic0]

I'm in the middle of the Wilk eating lunch and a chip just fell my shirt. I don't know how to unawkwardly fish it out.

There is no way. Embrace the awkward. Or go to the bathroom? Or shake your shirt while standing up? This happens to me way too often... It'll be okay.

[Tally M.]

Actually. I just realized I posted this in the wrong thread *facepalm*

[Zedability]

When my dad was dating my mom, he used to toss raisins or other small items down her shirt to tease her, since it was awkward to fish out.

[Tally M.]

Yay for getting it back on topic somehow

Some of my guy friends believe that the guy should not necessarily get a ring for his wife, and that the money could be better used for something else, say, food storage.

[mic0]

Actually. I just realized I posted this in the wrong thread *facepalm*

I didn't even notice! It was random so I assumed this was the random thread. moving on...

[Zedability]

I think a ring is important from a social norms perspective, but I don't think it HAS to be a diamond.

[Tally M.]

I, for one, have a proclivity to sapphires.

[Zedability]

See, I do prefer clear stones, mainly for going-with-everything purposes, but I'm okay with mossanite, cubic zirconium, and other clear stones.

Once in a while I see a colored ring I like, but it's not often. That's one thing where I'd need to pick it out myself.

[Katya]

Some of my guy friends believe that the guy should not necessarily get a ring for his wife, and that the money could be better used for something else, say, food storage.

If the guy and the girl in question agree on this, great, but it's not a decision that a guy should expect to make on his own without consulting his fiancée (especially not when an engagement ring is the default in our culture). (And for the sake of social signals, I think it's a good idea for married men and women to wear some sort of ring—health and safety permitting—but it doesn't have to be an engagement ring with a ginormous sparkly diamond.)

[UffishThought]

A high school girl that I knew was admiring a HUGE ring as the woman wearing it walked by, and was kind of disgusted at me when I said it might be hard to do other stuff, wearing that ring. Her counter-argument? "There's nothing about a small ring that says I love you!" Eek. I think she was joking a little, but I'm not entirely sure.

Anyway, more and more, I've decided I don't need a big fancy ring. Other stones would be fine, no stones would be fine, a ring from Claire's would be fine, if it didn't turn my finger green. Actually, the idea of having an expensive ring makes me nervous.

Other things I realized I don't care about: the wedding dress. Supposing first that I get married, and secondly that I get married in a temple, then even if I do wear the dress for the ceremony itself, it'll be largely covered. That makes the fancy wedding dress just for the reception, really, and I wince at spending so much on a glorified party. Really, if I could find a cute white dress--not necessarily a wedding dress--and have a boom box and a bunch of delicious snackyfoods in my parents' backyard, I think that would be enough. And a good husband, of course, since I'm daydreaming.

Though in light of Katya's recent post (and I agree, the guy shouldn't really make the decision of ring or no ring FOR his wife) I should admit that all of the guys who I dated seriously wanted a fancier wedding than the one in my head. I expect I'll have to compromise, if I ever get married.

[thatonemom]

Other things I realized I don't care about: the wedding dress. Supposing first that I get married, and secondly that I get married in a temple, then even if I do wear the dress for the ceremony itself, it'll be largely covered. That makes the fancy wedding dress just for the reception, really, and I wince at spending so much on a glorified party. Really, if I could find a cute white dress--not necessarily a wedding dress--and have a boom box and a bunch of delicious snackyfoods in my parents' backyard, I think that would be enough. And a good husband, of course, since I'm daydreaming.

I had a friend whose reception was almost exactly like that. She bought a cute, tea-length dress that she liked and used that for her pictures/reception and got married in her temple dress. It was less expensive and not as incredibly heavy as most wedding dresses are. The reception was at a park; very laid back. But it suited my friend and her husband.

I wanted a very simple reception. My husband was a little fancier in his ideas. In the end we had a nice reception his parents put on in his home town, and a small, more casual one in Provo.

[Squirrel]

Some of my guy friends believe that the guy should not necessarily get a ring for his wife, and that the money could be better used for something else, say, food storage.

If the guy and the girl in question agree on this, great, but it's not a decision that a guy should expect to make on his own without consulting his fiancée (especially not when an engagement ring is the default in our culture). (And for the sake of social signals, I think it's a good idea for married men and women to wear some sort of ring—health and safety permitting—but it doesn't have to be an engagement ring with a ginormous sparkly diamond.)

agreed. For those guys out there: Elder Scott's talk firmly states that not all rings should be given up for food storage. Come on. It's a wedding ring. But it doesn't have to be super expensive.

[Squirrel]

Other things I realized I don't care about: the wedding dress. Supposing first that I get married, and secondly that I get married in a temple, then even if I do wear the dress for the ceremony itself, it'll be largely covered. That makes the fancy wedding dress just for the reception, really, and I wince at spending so much on a glorified party. Really, if I could find a cute white dress--not necessarily a wedding dress--and have a boom box and a bunch of delicious snackyfoods in my parents' backyard, I think that would be enough. And a good husband, of course, since I'm daydreaming.

I had a friend whose reception was almost exactly like that. She bought a cute, tea-length dress that she liked and used that for her pictures/reception and got married in her temple dress. It was less expensive and not as incredibly heavy as most wedding dresses are. The reception was at a park; very laid back. But it suited my friend and her husband.

I wanted a very simple reception. My husband was a little fancier in his ideas. In the end we had a nice reception his parents put on in his home town, and a small, more casual one in Provo.

Is it okay to be married in your temple dress, and then wear it to your reception instead of a different dress? I haven't been through the temple, so I don't know these things.

[Zedability]

My Grandma made her wedding dress to also be her temple dress, so I assume so. They have pictures of her in it at her reception. And now it's my temple dress.

[Squirrel]

My Grandma made her wedding dress to also be her temple dress, so I assume so. They have pictures of her in it at her reception. And now it's my temple dress.

Awww!! *LIKE*