So, I feel like this is awkward on many fronts, not least of which is the real-world connectedness; nevertheless, what are actual practical things people can do if they feel ready to be married and want it to happen? I feel pretty fantastic at step 1 (find hot guys, go on dates, become exclusive), but don't really know what people do to ahem, take it to the next level. Short of precipitating a hostage crisis, what were things you did that helped you feel prepared to make that commitment? Saving money? Not taking a job far from your beloved? Cutting back on work or school so you could see your boyfriend more than weekly?
Non-partisan and -denominational answers might be best.
marriage-minded ;)
Re: marriage-minded ;)
Do marriage-y things that aren't inappropriate (whatever that means 
), things like: grocery shopping together; other shopping together; visiting each other's families on normal days and not just special occasions (if you are close to your family, obviously); have really boring nights together where you are really just both doing your own thing but in the same room (like reading/studying/playing video games); have day dates on weekdays to see what it's like; have exciting discussions about what you want in life and boring ones about what you want in life (does anyone actually like talking about finances??).
I'm trying to think of more, but my point is try to find out what how you two fit together when doing everyday things that a married or in-a-long-term-relationship couple would do. So, this is what we've got so far from your list and mine:
Step 1: find hot guys, go on dates, become exclusive
Step 2: start doing more average things together
Step 3: ???
Step 4: profit/get married.
Maybe step three is having The Discussion on how you feel about marriage.
ETA*: I thought of some more good ones. Take a trip together (driving or flying, just somewhere where you get to plan some things to do together); also, take a trip without the other one and see how you like to communicate with each other while away.
*My new favorite acronym for the next day.
), things like: grocery shopping together; other shopping together; visiting each other's families on normal days and not just special occasions (if you are close to your family, obviously); have really boring nights together where you are really just both doing your own thing but in the same room (like reading/studying/playing video games); have day dates on weekdays to see what it's like; have exciting discussions about what you want in life and boring ones about what you want in life (does anyone actually like talking about finances??). I'm trying to think of more, but my point is try to find out what how you two fit together when doing everyday things that a married or in-a-long-term-relationship couple would do. So, this is what we've got so far from your list and mine:
Step 1: find hot guys, go on dates, become exclusive
Step 2: start doing more average things together
Step 3: ???
Step 4: profit/get married.
Maybe step three is having The Discussion on how you feel about marriage.
ETA*: I thought of some more good ones. Take a trip together (driving or flying, just somewhere where you get to plan some things to do together); also, take a trip without the other one and see how you like to communicate with each other while away.
*My new favorite acronym for the next day.
Re: marriage-minded ;)
I think you get to a point where it becomes natural to gradually start spending more and more of your time together. The things Mico said like grocery shopping and boring evenings in the same room grew out of that, for us.
You might also consider living together at some point (although with you at BYU that might not be possible). For us, again, that was the natural outgrowth of increased time together.
You might also consider living together at some point (although with you at BYU that might not be possible). For us, again, that was the natural outgrowth of increased time together.
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Giovanni Schwartz
- Posts: 3396
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:41 pm
Re: marriage-minded ;)
Wait, where are you coming from, and when does that mean you're arriving?