Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/73628/

As a quick counterexample, my sister gave most of the planning to our mom, but it stressed our poor mom right out. For sure let your mom help if she offers, but don't feel like you can shove the whole huge project off on her!

I'd always kind of considered it a virtue that I never spent time as a child or teen or young adult planning colors and decorations and so on for a future wedding. But my mom's response to my sister's wedding made me rethink that a little. Having a few preferences and and idea of what all needs to be done can actually be quite practical and considerate.

Not that I've actually taken my own advice and planned any of that junk. I'm just not very girly, I guess.

I have general ideas of what I want, and a few small specific details, but other than that, I could probably hand it to my mom and be fine...

I would want to plan how things look myself. I don't think I could deal with that sort of lack of control. However, I am planning on handing the catering over to my sister. She can hire someone, but she'll be my liaison. She knows what I like, and she knows a lot about food and catering weddings.

I feel like, as someone recently married, I should have something significant to contribute to this conversation. But the truth is, somehow or another, you get married regardless of how well planned or poorly planned the wedding is. Pick out a few things that are important to you and then don't worry too much about the rest.

Emiliana wrote:somehow or another, you get married regardless of how well planned or poorly planned the wedding is

Word. I just wanted to throw in that I got married a week and a half before finals. Got married on a Friday evening, had a mini-honeymoon over the weekend at a cabin where we could go skiing, and got back to classes on Monday. It was fine. We arranged wedding things in a timely manner the ~6 months beforehand, and I had a slightly heavier load of homework the week before so I wouldn't have to worry that weekend. And I have definitely known a few couples who also got married mid-semester and maybe missed a few days then got back into the swing of things. It ain't so bad.

My ideal wedding would be in late February, but if things go the way they could, that's not going to happen.

Tally M. wrote:My ideal wedding would be in late February, but if things go the way they could, that's not going to happen.

If things go the way they could, I'm looking at a spring wedding. B-) In fact, due to residency requirements, if I get married (which seems likely), I'd have to get married before next August.

I'm thinking March- or early April-ish. Of course, I have to actually be engaged first. (Not happening until November or December, by both our agreement. Not that hard to push back when you live over 1000 miles apart.)

It's nice to not be beholden to the academic calendar! Pretty much my only limiting factor is when I can get time off work, the off-season for Europe (once your boyfriend hits 30, it's like, we're taking a honeymoon, dang it), and Utah weather.

Oh, and my mom is dead, my favorite sibling is in Paris, my grandma, while wonderful, would plan a yuppie country club nightmare wedding, and my dad was like "don't spend any money on your wedding. at all. get a dress you can rewear and spend it all on your honeymoon." So yeah, the planning will fall to me. My boyfriend's super cheap (euphemism: frugal) so we'll probably set up a tripod to do our own engagement photos, get a Wodehouse-style wedding bun, and invite no one but our parents, maybe 4 best friends, and Matt Meese.

The wedding-industrial complex is ridiculous. I actually could afford an expensive wedding (weird), but why not invest that in ... anything else?

Wodehouse wedding bun? What? Is that a thing? And how can it be--isn't Bingo the only one that actually ever gets married?

"And Matt Meese."

Snort.

UffishThought wrote:Wodehouse wedding bun? What? Is that a thing? And how can it be--isn't Bingo the only one that actually ever gets married?

The first of many references to "wedding bun" in my gchat archives is from two years ago.

I am fairly sure it comes from a non-Wooster story. (Many of which feature weddings, in fact.) A young couple elopes, and gets married at City Hall, and share a hot sticky bun. It has since become my model wedding, but I can't find it now ...

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:"And Matt Meese."

Snort.

Do you attend your cousins' weddings? (Seriously. Being cousinless, I don't know protocol.)

It depends on how close they are. My cousins on my mom's side are too young, but they will probably come to mine, and I'll make my very best effort to go to theirs. At least the reception. Not sure about the temple portion. My cousins on my dad's side are much older than me, but my dad didn't even go.

Yup, depends on how close (emotionally and distance-wise). I'm going to my cousin's wedding in September because we have always been fairly close. I'm not going to my other cousin's wedding in a few weeks because she and I really have only spoken a couple of times.

I invited all of mine mostly as a courtesy, but as I expected, only the local ones came. I'd go to my cousins' weddings if (a) they would get around to getting married and (b) they would get married within a few hours of here.

Also, the fact that there IS any such thing as a "wedding-industrial complex" is ridiculous.