74710 - The kid who is hard to control

[TheBlackSheep]

https://theboard.byu.edu/questions/74170/#comments

I posted a comment to this, but I know I only read the Board on an RSS feed, and I feel kinda passionate about it. So, there it is.

[Whistler]

yes, I'm definitely with you there, TBS!

[Yog in Neverland]

TBS-
Thanks for the correction--I was going off of a couple of writers' suggestions and a deadline of about 20 minutes. I miss having people like you working for the Board that actually know stuff :'(
-Yoggy

[TheBlackSheep]

Yog, you definitely should not worry about it. You can only be bitten by so many kids with conduct disorder before that diagnosis sticks in your brain. And maybe someday again.

[Whistler]

yeah, don't feel bad Yog! You do what you can with the constraints you have.

[Whistler]

I'm curious, TBS... how does one manage children with conduct disorder?

[wryness]

Yes! Tips, please! I recently found out that someone I know through my work has oppositional defiant disorder. I am not at my wit's end yet, but I get frustrated often and would like to not arrive at my wit's end, if at all possible.

[TheBlackSheep]

I will get back to you ASAP.

[TheBlackSheep]

So remember when I said I would get back ASAP and I didn't? I apologize. I'm super busy and I have new-Prozac memory, so, you know.

Basically, with either ODD or conduct disorder, it boils down to having super stable limits and good structure and getting outside treatment as needed. Things like keeping to a strict daily routine and having consistent, predictable consequences are vital. It's also important to avoid power struggles like mad. They teach simple parenting techniques to help parents like this, such as ways to structure statements (ex., "We will go to the park when your chores are done," rather than, "Fine! We won't go to the park because you aren't doing your chores!"), offering two acceptable choices ("Would you like to pick up your stuff now or do you need an extra 15 minutes?"), and positive redirection ("If you need to yell, you can go outside," rather than, "Stop yelling at me!").

Conduct disorder is more severe than ODD and often requires some kind of structured treatment. The kids I worked with on the lock-down unit all had conduct disorder. Both of them have parenting classes and support groups available to the parents and therapy, behavior management strategies, treatment programs, and groups for the kids. The parents also often need therapy to deal with their feelings related to their child and to parenting.