Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

I'm gonna take Toots at his word and assume that a spouse's leaving the church is not an a priori cause for a divorce.

I think that it's a shame, and I've seen it happen. I value people over institutions.

I agree that none of those things is definitely a cause for divorce, but I also disagree with Tootles strict "no such thing as a deal breaker in marriage" stance. There definitely are deal breakers. There definitely is a point at which it is better to cut your losses than continue in a marriage that is emotionally or physically damaging for those involved. That point is different for everyone, and if you are open with your spouse then you'll know if you reach that point, in my opinion.

I understood from his comment less that he meant there was no point a marriage could reach when divorce would be a good idea, and more that the term "deal breaker" usually is used for relatively trivial things.

I suppose, but I felt like the question set up the term in such a way that made it clear they weren't talking about trivial things.

I'm not denying that a spouse leaving/going back to/joining a religion is a big deal. I just think it's usually a dumb reason to leave your spouse. My boyfriend of a year is a non-practicing Mormon. I'm happy with that state of affairs. But should he become a TBM/off-the-records/join another religion, I'd still love him. We would talk about how he felt, and whether/how it'd affect me.

I humbly submit that there are people married to a religion more than their spouse.

Portia wrote:I humbly submit that there are people married to a religion more than their spouse.

Probably so. And some religions probably support that kind of attitude more than others. :/

mic0 wrote:

Portia wrote:I humbly submit that there are people married to a religion more than their spouse.

Probably so. And some religions probably support that kind of attitude more than others. :/

I just want to say that this does NOT only apply to Mormons. I feel that there are some religious people who are even more serious about this kind of thing than us. I also believe that more people these days are in the church for the things it helps them do than the things it helps them feel.

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:I also believe that more people these days are in the church for the things it helps them do than the things it helps them feel.

What do you mean? What does that have to do with marriage?

Meaning that they're not necessarily as married to the church.

It made sense in my head at the time. :S

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:It made sense in my head at the time. :S

Awwwwwww!

I definitely agree Mormons aren't the only ones, but they are the ones I have the most experience with. Maybe our resident never-ever-Mormons could chime in? I know my husband's cousin converted to Judaism to get married; the woman would NOT marry a non-Jew, period. Anyway, I think it depends more on the individuals involved than the religion at large, prooobably. Maybe any dogmatic religion would lend itself well to this particular issue?