#78425 loving another child
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 10:20 am
I thought this was an interesting question. My mom liked my brother more than she liked me. Everyone involved (including our grandmother) was very aware of this; it wasn’t even a a secret, per se.
I think this could be due to a few factors. One was that our personalities were more similar and thus clashed more. Another was that I was unplanned and unwanted and he wasn’t. I never was much of a “little mother.”
We’re really close, now. I honestly think that with our mother out of the picture, I feel less competitive with him. (Which is horrible. I recognize that.)
So it could be that you could end up loving your second child much more than your first. I think that I got more in the way of material help (specifically, I went to a fancy-pants high school and he didn’t; it was only when we were adults that I learned he resented that). On the other hand, my mom was much more controlling of his behavior in high school. Maybe since they were so close she cared more?
I think since both my parents were only children they were not the best-equipped to handle sibling relationships. I have not decided whether to have no children, one, or two, but a big advantage of one is this absence of sibling rivalry. I’m glad it all worked out between us, though.
I think this could be due to a few factors. One was that our personalities were more similar and thus clashed more. Another was that I was unplanned and unwanted and he wasn’t. I never was much of a “little mother.”
We’re really close, now. I honestly think that with our mother out of the picture, I feel less competitive with him. (Which is horrible. I recognize that.)
So it could be that you could end up loving your second child much more than your first. I think that I got more in the way of material help (specifically, I went to a fancy-pants high school and he didn’t; it was only when we were adults that I learned he resented that). On the other hand, my mom was much more controlling of his behavior in high school. Maybe since they were so close she cared more?
I think since both my parents were only children they were not the best-equipped to handle sibling relationships. I have not decided whether to have no children, one, or two, but a big advantage of one is this absence of sibling rivalry. I’m glad it all worked out between us, though.