#79841 - Not Going Home for the Holidays

[Amity]

[Link]

I would say that it becomes acceptable to miss Thanksgiving and Christmas when you decide it's acceptable. You don't need permission from anyone to make your own plans for the holidays. I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally last holiday season and the thought of spending it with my parents made me want to cry, so I allowed myself zero qualms about visiting my sister over Thanksgiving and limiting the amount of time I spent at home for Christmas. Just because you're single doesn't mean you're obligated to spend all your free time and travel money on family if you don't want to.

[Violet]

Honestly, I wouldn't be going home for Thanksgiving if my little brother weren't leaving that very week for his mission. I say, if you don't want to go home for a holiday, don't go home for Thanksgiving. Christmas is soon enough and there's less travel crunch.

[Whistler]

yeah, I have been home for Thanksgiving once in the last ten years. Most of the time it seems like too much hassle for too short a stay.

[Katya]

I didn't go home for Thanksgiving for 8 years when I was in Illinois and Maine, and I missed Christmas one year, too.

[wryness]

I live within about an hour of home. With the youngest child leaving home, my parents recently became empty-nesters, so I feel a little more pressured to visit them than I used to. On the other hand, I always have fun with them and I'm really looking forward to the holidays (which I'd planned to be spending with them anyway).

[Portia]

I'm going to my father's (sadly, his dad the atheist hippie biologist has back problems and won't be there) for Thanksgiving, but going elsewhere (viz., the boyfriend's family's, if I can stretch the budget) for Christmas. No pressure. ;-)

[mic0]

I know this is going to sound dumb, but I actually wish I had the choice on holidays of choosing between sets of parents rather than choosing between my parents and just doing our own thing. If Mr. Mico's parents ever actually move to the U.S. (they kind of want to), then I still don't think we'd have a problem because they don't really celebrate Thanksgiving (they're Russian, duh) or Christmas (not Christian, they do celebrate New Year's though).

As for the original topic, I'm all for just spending the holidays with friends over family some times. It can be really good and with much less draaaaama.

[Genuine Article]

When I was in Provo I always did Thanksgiving with siblings and friends because there was no point in going home for such a short trip. But there was no way I'd miss Christmas. That's just crazy. Probably it helps that I'm a stickler for Christmas traditions, and we have no family drama to speak of, so spending Christmas in Oregon with family is a treat.

Last year we couldn't make it for Christmas because we'd just moved a month before and my husband didn't have any extra vacation days, but we made it for two days at New Year's for my sister's wedding. Because of the wedding there were like, 25 people always hanging around my parents' house and it got to my oldest sister, who had to sneak out to her car and drink coke to get some alone time and maintain her sanity.

This year my youngest sister is bringing her boyfriend home for Christmas, which we all (including her) think is weird. I guess he was all "I want to spend Christmas with your family" and she was like "Oh, you mean you want to come and visit right after Christmas" and he was like "No, I want to come and be there for Christmas Christmas." And none of us get it. Why would you spend Christmas with someone else's family?

[Amity]

I'm spending Christmas day with my boyfriend's family. They're probably gonna be my family soon, so I might as well start trading off holidays now. (Boyfriend is coming to my family's for Thanksgiving, so his family gets us for Christmas this year.)

[Portia]

Well when your own family has been hijacked, sometimes the boyfriend's family seems more stable, I suppose.

[Portia]

On the other hand, I'm hoping to start a new position before then, so we'll have to see. I am always afraid of committing some social faux pas, but when my father dropped the bomb that literally every. single. one. of his wife's immediate family members (there are, like, 60) will be there, I lost it. I'm big for tradition, too. It was always at my mom's mom's, but apparently that don't matter no more. Sigh.