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Unhappy Spouses

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:13 pm
by NovemberEast
#81450 reminds me of Jim & Pam in the last few seasons of the office. Yes, I trudged through them. But I remember towards the end when the main characters were seeing the documentary on tv, Pam made a remark that she hated herself for being upset about Jim being gone for his Philly job.

"Unloved" did not really get specific enough about why her husband is gone all the time. Does he have a demanding job? Is he in an intense school program? Does his work require him to travel a lot? If any of this is true, I'd have to just tell her that's sometimes the price of having a high-achieving spouse.

Forgive my assumption, but maybe the wife has not had comparable work or education experiences and can't empathize as readily with the demands on her husband? Or maybe he's just a soulless jerk in a suit, i dunno.

My husband is no stranger to late nights (and I travel for work a lot). We keep in touch during the day on gchat and if I'm out of town we have nightly scripture study over the phone. We're just so righteous. Just kidding. But we really did do that because it made us feel closer. Last fall I was gone for a few weeks and we made a point to read a conference talk every day and talk about it at night. There are plenty of ways to stay connected when you're not nearby. You just have to find what makes you feel closest. And sometimes, you don't feel close and you just deal with it. I've done that too.

And then we have the other extreme in question #81316 where the woman is frustrated by her husbands lack of ambition.

We women just are never satisfied. Sorry to men everywhere.

Re: Unhappy Spouses

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 4:39 pm
by Whistler
it seems like the questioner's situation could turn into a negative feedback loop, like when he is home she asks him why he isn't home more, which in turn makes him want to be home less. It's possible she needs some friends (being home alone all the time isn't good for some people I guess?), or that he's a jerk and doesn't like her anymore. It's pretty hard to tell, isn't it?

Re: Unhappy Spouses

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 4:51 pm
by Portia
These questions make me even more skeptical of "traditional" gender roles than I was previously.

Re: Unhappy Spouses

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:16 pm
by Marduk
NovemberEast wrote: We women just are never satisfied. Sorry to men everywhere.
Apology accepted.