Is This Normal?

[thatonemom]

I haven't been around for awhile but I thought you guys might have some good insights on this. So I just saw a therapist for the first time because of some issues with postpartum depression and anxiety. And it wasn't really what I was hoping for. What I wanted was someone who would listen to how I was feeling and help me understand it better or something. But a few times when I brought up things she seemed dismissive - at least to me.

For example, I mentioned that my last baby was not planned, which I think has been part of my issue. And the therapist's response was how I had good spacing between my kids. She was all, "really, thatonemom, that is perfect spacing between kids." That's a lot of assumptions right there, like that I was planning to have another kid at all, or that I agreed with her idea of what "good spacing" is. But she seemed to have the attitude of "that's not really a problem so let's move on." She had that kind of approach a couple other times. I told her I had been nervous about coming and at the end all she said was "see, that wasn't scary at all!" Well, I'm glad she felt that way. It was scary for me.

Sorry to rant. The point is I wasn't very satisfied with the experience and don't want to see her again. But here are my questions:
Is that how therapy normally goes? I get that therapy helps challenge ideas that are harmful, but does it normally feel so dismissive?
I've heard you should give therapists three visits before you decide to part ways. Is that good advice? Has anyone seen someone they didn't think would be a fit but after time it got better?

[bobtheenchantedone]

I'd say that doesn't sound like a good therapist. My first session of therapy, both times, was almost entirely me talking with occasional neutral prompts ("You haven't mentioned your father yet. Is he in your life?) and then with a big "Here's what I understand about you and your situation from what you said; does that sound accurate/is there anything you'd like to add?" at the end.

I'd drop her and move on to the next one.

[Zedability]

Yeah bob's first therapy visit sounds like my first therapy visit. Mostly just "so tell me what's been going on" and listening and then at the end a sheet to fill out so that we could discuss things more specifically next time. I would switch if I were you as well.

[Portia]

Is she part of LDS Family Services? That may explain some unwarranted assumptions about childbearing and conflict right there.

I personally would find the approach of bob's and Zed's therapists way too hands-off. Good fit is important. I'd probably give it two sessions, just so I could tell her off. :P

[thatonemom]

Thanks bob and Zed. What you're describing is more what I was expecting. It's good to know there are therapists that have a different style.
And, lol Portia, no she wasn't with LDS Family Services. Well, maybe she does therapy with them on the side, but I met her at a therapy practice place. From what I've heard about people's experience with LDS FS it doesn't sound like what I'm looking for.

For Utah County people is there a therapist you'd recommend? My insurance covers several so at least I'm not wasting a lot of money trying to find a good fit.

[The Happy Medium]

My sister-in-law studied therapy and she really liked Rita Edmonds with Aspen Therapy in Provo. She's usually booked a few months out so you might want to find someone else if it's more urgent. My sis-in-law lives in Highland now so if you want a recommendation for someone more North County I'm sure I could ask who she sees now.

[TheBlackSheep]

Dr. Edward Parent, yo. I liked him back in the day. Takes all the insurance. If you want to come up to Salt Lake County once a week, my current therapist is badass and not dismissive but she calls me on my stuff.

And if you don't like her, move on. She sounds dismissive, though maybe she was trying to reassure you, but that's not really a therapist's job.

I might have started the give-it-three-sessions advice, but between me and you I mostly meant it for people who were a lot less sure about what felt wrong to them than you are. I was also 20 back then and I'm far less patient with therapists now.

[NerdGirl]

Yeah, I would get a new therapist.

[thatonemom]

Thanks, everyone. The Happy Medium and The Black Sheep I'm open for traveling so even recs for therapists up north would be great.

[TheBlackSheep]

My current therapist is Danielle Fast, CMHC. Her office is at 4500 S 500 Eish, which is in Murray, I think. She's 100% great.

I've heard great things about Margaret Thompson, LCSW, but I've never actually been able to see the woman.