Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

I'm going to a last minute "encore" wedding this valentines weekend. I hear that with second weddings, gifts are not supposed to be as expected. But it's not like everyone knows that or goes by it. Would it be terrible of me to not bring a gift? Or just a small gift?

more info:
The bride and groom are both older (mid 30's)
Guests were given less than 2 weeks notice
It's a destination wedding.

What do you think? I'm leaning towards a restaurant gift card because a target/amazon GC just makes me feel blah. I'd rather give an "experience" since they are older and not exactly starting with zero home stuff. Also because I'll probably give a target or amazon GC for her baby shower.

NovemberEast wrote:I'm going to a last minute "encore" wedding this valentines weekend. I hear that with second weddings, gifts are not supposed to be as expected. But it's not like everyone knows that or goes by it. Would it be terrible of me to not bring a gift? Or just a small gift?

more info:
The bride and groom are both older (mid 30's)
Guests were given less than 2 weeks notice
It's a destination wedding.

What do you think? I'm leaning towards a restaurant gift card because a target/amazon GC just makes me feel blah. I'd rather give an "experience" since they are older and not exactly starting with zero home stuff. Also because I'll probably give a target or amazon GC for her baby shower.

I MUCH prefer Target/Amazon gift cards to restaurant ones. I'm picky with where I eat, and it seems like an economic loss/loss when I get one for, like, Cheesecake Factory.

Otherwise, you are much more the etiquette expert than any of us here. Sounds fine to me, but I don't think mid 30s is that much "older," it's the second wedding that's relevant. And yeah, I don't even want stuff and I'm only 28. I still have TOO MUCH STUFF.

By "second wedding" do you mean "both spouses have been in a marriage before," or "they had a small destination wedding and they're married already and now they want to throw a bigger party"?

Portia wrote: I MUCH prefer Target/Amazon gift cards to restaurant ones. I'm picky with where I eat, and it seems like an economic loss/loss when I get one for, like, Cheesecake Factory.

that's what regifting is for!

Amity wrote:By "second wedding" do you mean "both spouses have been in a marriage before," or "they had a small destination wedding and they're married already and now they want to throw a bigger party"?

i mean that they have been married before.

not that it matters for gifting, but it's the brides second shotgun wedding. so i dont want to seem like a huge jerk for not getting anything this time around even though it's not really required.

and by restaurant gift card, I know of a local restaurant that the bride is in love with so that's what i would do.

Technically gifts are never required for any wedding, but I agree that this couple's wedding still deserves some kind of acknowledgment. Given the circumstances and the limited notice, I think your idea of a restaurant gift card is a lovely gesture.

I think the best gift card is one that doesn't expire. Gift cards were a common gift for my husband and I. We got enough that some of them got misplaced for a while and by the time we got around to using a few, they would be worth $15 instead of $25. If you know their hometown, it might be nice to consider what restaurants they have available to them. I've gotten a lot of Darden gift cards which can be used at multiple restaurants, but the only one within an hour drive is Olive Garden. I'm getting pretty tired of Olive Garden. I second the suggestion if there is a restaurant or even a type of food that the couple likes, to get a gift card that matches.