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I just have two annectotes I want to add.
1. The family practice doctor that my kids go to is female - and her husband is her RN. So if we go in, we see one or the other of them. I have no idea what their religious affiliation is, or if they have kids - but the office is in Alpine, Utah. How's that, GimGiminee?
2. My cousin married a girl he met in med school. This girl is from an OVER acheiver family that earned the capital letters. They have a lot of girls, and all of them graduated early, earned more degrees than nessesary, and all while spending a year volunteering over-seas and . . . well, you get the picture. So then, you have a couple that is BOTH in residency at the same time. If you have ever known someone in residency, they consider a 80 hour week "light". They schedule when they have kids based on when she can get enough time off of residency to HAVE the kid. The actual children, so far as I can see, were being raised by Grandparents. She finally decided that she need to take a break for while, and gave up the plan of being a specific kind of surgeon that takes many more years. But she is still planning on finishing. I don't know - it isn't my place to judge. But that's what has happened with them.
If it was me, personally, in that situation, I wouldn't do it. I would either wait to have kids when I was done, or ditch the med school. I think a lot of education is worth it for mothers, but when you incur THAT much debt to get the education, you HAVE to work a long time to earn it back, and you wouldn't want that hanging over my head if you decid you want to stay home with your kids. I would feel trapped. But if it is your lifelong dream to be a doctor . . . I don't know.
Mom Doctors
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TheAnswerIs42
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Darth Fedora
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Women in medicine is a topic that's near and dear to my heart, and I could talk about it pretty much endlessly. I actually submitted a really long comment about that question, since the anecdotes shared were sad and not really representative of the possibilities you have as a future mother and doctor. Hopefully it'll get approved and post soon, but if not, I'll copy it in here later.
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Darth Fedora
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Well, I have no idea if the person who asked the question ever reads the message board, but this is what I would say to her:
As a woman on the path to a career in medicine, and as someone with several female (and male) LDS physicians in the family, I think I might be able to offer a little insight into the subject.
1) You're not going to encounter much, if any, sexism in your actual classes. Most professors are really supportive of all of their students having ambition and getting more education. I know on the Internet, you can find horror stories about sexism in BYU classes, but those stories are not in line with my actual experience. Don't be scared!
You will, however, likely encounter sexism from individuals. Some people might ask you how you can possibly reconcile wanting an education and a job with the Proclamation to the Family. Some boys shy away from dating girls who are smarter than them. Sometimes you'll feel like people are judging your decisions. But the people who act that way and say those kinds of things are in the minority. Just remember, they're not trying to offend you or hurt your feelings. They really just don't know any better. Take it in stride and be nice to them anyway.
2) Don't feel like you have to be a nurse or a PA if you want to have kids. People who are trying to be helpful often suggest those as alternatives, and those are legitimate professions--that you should only go into if that's what you're really interested in. They can also be good alternatives to medicine if you lack the academic or leadership skills to be a physician. They are not good alternatives if you just want to make raising kids easier. Yes, the training for being a nurse or PA is much easier and shorter than the training for being a physician. Consider that an up-front investment for the benefits of having an MD: depending on your specialty and your individual practice or group, you can control when and how much you work. Most nurses, on the other hand, work in places where they have to check the schedule to see when the nursing manager scheduled them that month. Also, if you think there's a chance you might become bored or frustrated with not being in charge at work, do yourself a favor and get your MD before you have a midlife crisis. Education is an investment in your future. Don't let a few extra years of it scare you (or your future husband) away from following your dreams.
3) You can absolutely have a career as a physician and be a wonderful mother! Like Claudio and Gimgimno said, it's about making the right priorities. Don't take a job that requires you to be away from your family too much, or that requires you to skip church often. You'll probably be busier than other mothers. Some days, you'll probably need the help of a nanny to get your kids ready for school or to be with them during the summer. That's ok! If you love your children and teach them well, they will be at least as well-adjusted as kids with stay-at-home moms.
Also, don't feel like you need to delay having children just because you'll be in medical school or residency. My parents got married in medical school and had three kids by the time they were done with their residencies. Honestly, if I get married in the next year or two, I'll probably want to have kids while I'm in medical school.
There are going to be some big hurdles for you to jump, and you're going to have to make sacrifices in your career, but you can do it! You might also be interested in joining the Women in Medicine Club here at BYU. Best of luck!
As a woman on the path to a career in medicine, and as someone with several female (and male) LDS physicians in the family, I think I might be able to offer a little insight into the subject.
1) You're not going to encounter much, if any, sexism in your actual classes. Most professors are really supportive of all of their students having ambition and getting more education. I know on the Internet, you can find horror stories about sexism in BYU classes, but those stories are not in line with my actual experience. Don't be scared!
You will, however, likely encounter sexism from individuals. Some people might ask you how you can possibly reconcile wanting an education and a job with the Proclamation to the Family. Some boys shy away from dating girls who are smarter than them. Sometimes you'll feel like people are judging your decisions. But the people who act that way and say those kinds of things are in the minority. Just remember, they're not trying to offend you or hurt your feelings. They really just don't know any better. Take it in stride and be nice to them anyway.
2) Don't feel like you have to be a nurse or a PA if you want to have kids. People who are trying to be helpful often suggest those as alternatives, and those are legitimate professions--that you should only go into if that's what you're really interested in. They can also be good alternatives to medicine if you lack the academic or leadership skills to be a physician. They are not good alternatives if you just want to make raising kids easier. Yes, the training for being a nurse or PA is much easier and shorter than the training for being a physician. Consider that an up-front investment for the benefits of having an MD: depending on your specialty and your individual practice or group, you can control when and how much you work. Most nurses, on the other hand, work in places where they have to check the schedule to see when the nursing manager scheduled them that month. Also, if you think there's a chance you might become bored or frustrated with not being in charge at work, do yourself a favor and get your MD before you have a midlife crisis. Education is an investment in your future. Don't let a few extra years of it scare you (or your future husband) away from following your dreams.
3) You can absolutely have a career as a physician and be a wonderful mother! Like Claudio and Gimgimno said, it's about making the right priorities. Don't take a job that requires you to be away from your family too much, or that requires you to skip church often. You'll probably be busier than other mothers. Some days, you'll probably need the help of a nanny to get your kids ready for school or to be with them during the summer. That's ok! If you love your children and teach them well, they will be at least as well-adjusted as kids with stay-at-home moms.
Also, don't feel like you need to delay having children just because you'll be in medical school or residency. My parents got married in medical school and had three kids by the time they were done with their residencies. Honestly, if I get married in the next year or two, I'll probably want to have kids while I'm in medical school.
There are going to be some big hurdles for you to jump, and you're going to have to make sacrifices in your career, but you can do it! You might also be interested in joining the Women in Medicine Club here at BYU. Best of luck!
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NerdGirl
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If the question asker ever reads the message board, she might find this blog interesting:
http://www.mothersinmedicine.com/
I'm applying to medical school soon and I'm a Mormon woman who would like to have a family, although at this point I'm pretty sure I'll be over 30 before I have my first child (if I ever have any). I've known a few female doctors with kids, and it seems to me like it's one of the more mother-friendly career choices (especially compared to the career path I'm leaving).
http://www.mothersinmedicine.com/
I'm applying to medical school soon and I'm a Mormon woman who would like to have a family, although at this point I'm pretty sure I'll be over 30 before I have my first child (if I ever have any). I've known a few female doctors with kids, and it seems to me like it's one of the more mother-friendly career choices (especially compared to the career path I'm leaving).
