#60899 - Young brides

[Katya]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/60899/

I don't have any great advice for this reader, except to agree that this is a tough situation. I've been in a similar situation and it stinks that people won't step outside of their clique to get to know you. I wouldn't say that Mormons are any worse about this than any other group, except that we do have a tendency to divide our wards up along demographic lines, which only reinforces the homogeneity of the group. (Also, we have a very strong cultural narrative about what the proper Mormon life plan is supposed to look like, which can make life especially hard for those whose lives don't end up matching up with that plan.)

[Whistler]

yeah, I have no idea how to make friends in my regular/new family ward, having never been an adult in one before.

[Dragon Lady]

I wanted to tell her to switch to a family ward. The ages there are so vastly different that it's not as pronounced, if that makes sense. Besides, she'd probably be quickly be put in Primary with students that will love her instead of judge her, so then church won't be something to be dreaded.

[Katya]

I wanted to tell her to switch to a family ward.

No joke.

[Katya]

yeah, I have no idea how to make friends in my regular/new family ward, having never been an adult in one before.

Does your ward have any Relief Society activity groups (or whatever they're called this week)? I've always made friends through my callings, but I have a pretty low need for socialization, in general.