61259 - Cooking dinner

[Katya]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/61259/

Really, preparing a meal is the worst part of your day? What a charmed life you must lead!

Not necessarily. I have a friend who hates cooking because she has Crohn's disease and she's in a really stressful graduate program. She's tired, busy, stressed out and on top of that, she hurts all the time and she's never sure if she's going to be able to eat anything without it hurting more.

The original poster of the question certainly didn't hint at having to deal with anything as difficult as Crohn's disease (and grad school), but there are many people whose lives are so hard in a number of different areas that the thought of having to do one more thing (even something that seems relatively simple) is almost unbearable. Your attitude illustrates why it can be difficult to share these feelings with other people, because many people will be quite judgmental of someone who shares how hard it is for them to make a meal / get up an hour early / dry their hair, etc. It sounds like preparing meals isn't terribly difficult for you, and I'm happy to hear that. Please try to avoid rushing to judge others, in the future.

[Imogen]

i agree, katya. i was going through a really rough time with my depression in college, and the worst part of my day climbing three flights of stairs to my room. finding my door locked could bring me to tears. i mean, it wasn't the actual stairs that were a problem, but i was so emotionally and physically exhausted, that i just couldn't handle doing anything else.

[Marduk]

There are also those who find cooking, especially for others, nightmarish. It is something I struggle to understand, as it seems so simple to me, but the stress of getting things wrong, or burning things, or adding too much of this or that and the resultant product being unpalatable. We find stressful that which we find most difficult to do; we ought to try our best to reserve judgement on where that lies for other people.

[Katya]

There are also those who find cooking, especially for others, nightmarish. It is something I struggle to understand, as it seems so simple to me, but the stress of getting things wrong, or burning things, or adding too much of this or that and the resultant product being unpalatable. We find stressful that which we find most difficult to do; we ought to try our best to reserve judgement on where that lies for other people.

Have you ever tried cooking with recipes from Cooks Illustrated or America's Test Kitchen? (It's the same organization, just different branding.) Their recipes aren't always simple, but they're well-tested and carefully explained, so they've almost always turned out well for me.

[Craig Jessop]

My problem is that ingredients to make good things are just so dang expensive.

[NerdGirl]

Yeah, I agree. I totally get how people can be stressed out by things related to cooking and eating. When I was really sick before and right after I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I hated eating. I didn't mind cooking for others, but eating hurt, and I'm also overweight, so some people had no shortage of obnoxious things to say when I would go somewhere and not eat anything. At my worst point, I was managing to eat a couple of servings of rice a day, with maybe a few vegetables and sometimes chicken, and yet somehow I gained about 60 pounds in a year. So people just assumed that I ate non-stop and sometimes didn't even believe me when I tried to explain that I was sick and eating was actually hard for me. They would just get offended and say that I was being picky when they offered me something I knew would make me sick.

Even now that I'm not so sick anymore, I'm okay with eating at home, but going out to restaurants can be an absolute nightmare. It's really stressful, and probably one of the most stressful things I have to do. There are a handful of restaurants that I do feel safe at, but sometimes people only want to go to a really difficult restaurant, and I have to either not go, which offends some people, or go and ask a million questions and have people give me dirty looks and tell me not to be so picky or even say things like "Well, you don't look you have any dietary restrictions!" (gee, thanks, for pointing out that I'm fat), or else just not eat anything, which makes people really uncomfortable. People think it's ridiculous that I would get so stressed out by something that's supposed to be fun, but I do.

[NerdGirl]

My problem is that ingredients to make good things are just so dang expensive.

Yeah, that is a big problem!

[Eirene]

In my defense, this is how I interpreted the original question: "I don't enjoy cooking, and I am expressing that with hyperbole. Ideas to help?"
In that light, I think it's easier to read my answer as: "Mild fun-poking at use of hyperbole. Then an actual answer."

But really, thanks for the heads-up, guys. It's always interesting to see how different people can read the same thing in such different ways (I'm talking about their question and my answer both).

[thebigcheese]

They would just get offended and say that I was being picky when they offered me something I knew would make me sick.

This is becoming an issue in my family. Some of my siblings have randomly developed some food intolerances in the past couple of years, but no one really discusses it openly (maybe they're embarrassed? I know my sister doesn't like to talk about how she had to give stool samples at the doctor's office, etc). Since they aren't very open about it, they often get blamed for just being picky. My sister can't have wheat, my brother can't have green vegetables, and my other brother can't have cheese. Maybe that's why we can never agree on restaurants or dinner ideas.

I'm hoping and praying that I don't get stuck with anything like that...but me and my brother are both guilty of being not-so-nice about this issue. I should probably be more sensitive in the future.

[thebigcheese]

I'll just go ahead and admit that this was my question. I don't have any food-related illnesses, so don't worry about that.

But I hate cooking. I don't know why exactly, since there are times in my life when I've enjoyed it. Seems like I've usually enjoyed it when I've been curious about something. For example, during my freshman year, I decided that I wanted to learn how to make meats (I grew up in Texas, after all). So I practiced and practiced...and I eventually mastered the art of cooking certain types of chicken, fish, beef, and pork. That was fun because it was sort of like an experiment -- I did it just a little differently every time, just to see how it would turn out and what the best methods were. So I guess I'm curious about the scientific side of cooking.

But sometimes you just have to make a pot of spaghetti and there's nothing new or creative about it. Those are the days when cooking is just a chore (it's right up there with laundry in my book), and I resent the fact that I have to do it. Suggestions?

[NerdGirl]

Maybe you need to find a new cooking-related challenge. You could try to cook your way through some new cookbooks, or learn how to cook a particular kind of ethnic food that you like, or try to cook 30-minute meals, or try to cook meals using only 5 ingredients.

[Katya]

I was looking through a book called Cooking for Geeks the other day that is supposed to be about the science of cooking, so that you can be more innovative and creative in your own cooking. You should check it out.

[NerdGirl]

Also, big cheese, you should tell your non-wheat-eating sister to get this cookbook:
http://www.amazon.com/You-Wont-Believe- ... 1569242526
I has the best wheatless bread recipes I've ever tasted. My favorite is the potato-millet bread, and the corn-based pizza crusts and biscuits are awesome. It even had recipes for fortune cookies and ice cream cones. And the same author has recently come out with a gluten-free cookie book, and it has recipes for gluten-free versions of every flavor of Girl Scout cookies.

[Marduk]

Have you ever tried cooking with recipes from Cooks Illustrated or America's Test Kitchen? (It's the same organization, just different branding.) Their recipes aren't always simple, but they're well-tested and carefully explained, so they've almost always turned out well for me.

You misunderstand. I'm saying some may feel this way, but I don't. Cooking is actually a hobby of mine, and I would hope someone here would back me up! (no no, Marduk is an amazing cook! We've had his cooking and it was delicious!)

But apparently my reviews aren't as rave as I had imagined.

[UnluckyStuntman]

I'll back you up, Marduk. If I could cook food as delicious as yours, I probably wouldn't hate cooking as much as I do.

[bobtheenchantedone]

Aw, poor little Duckie and his lack of rave reviews. *sniff*

(Seriously though, I eat a meal cooked by him at least once a week and it is tasty tasty stuff.)

Katya, the only cookbook Marduk consents to owning is by America's Test Kitchen. Not that he uses it. Mostly I read it when he's playing the compy and I don't want to work.

[Katya]

You misunderstand. I'm saying some may feel this way, but I don't.

There are also those who find cooking, especially for others, nightmarish. It is something I struggle to understand . . .

Ah. I read "it" as referring to "cooking," but you intended it to refer to "find[ing] . . . cooking . . . nightmarish." Gotcha. (And a pretty interesting instance of syntactic ambiguity, actually.)

[Marduk]

My apologies. In this brain the lexicon often runs faster than the syntax. I need some sort of harness to pull clarity of thought along with the quick running linguistic flow.

[TheAnswerIs42]

Rule 28d! Improper use of "you" or "it"!

</Harbrace manual rant from my 10th grade English teacher>

[Katya]

Rule 28d! Improper use of "you" or "it"!

No, it's not. Last time, you said that "it" was wrong because it didn't have a referent. In this case, both interpretations have a referent. One is the nearest gerund and one is the entire inflectional phrase. Both are grammatical, and I'm not convinced that my misinterpretation is indicative of a systematic problem in the construction of the phrase.