Anyone ever "killed you softly"?

[Digit]

Holy cow, this describes how I have felt (to varying extents, fortunately never really extreme, but always there) throughout my life better than anything I have ever before read. From Personality Disorders in Modern Life (Millon, 2nd ed.):

THE CONFLICTED AVOIDANT
A defining feature of avoidant personality disorder is the conflict of longing for intimacy
versus the fear of vulnerability that naturally ensues in a close relationship with another.
In a similar manner, those with a negativistic personality (formerly referred to as
“passive-aggressive”) are basically ambivalent about themselves and others. They idealize
their close friends and companions, but should their sense of autonomy be threatened,
they seek to undermine or humiliate them. What we are terming the conflicted
avoidant is an avoidant pattern that combines features of the negativistic personality.
Here, we may expect to see basic withdrawal tendencies of the avoidant pattern but expressed
in a manner akin to the negativist’s penchant for “interpersonal guerilla warfare.”
If not withdrawn into isolation, conflicted avoidants may be experienced as petulant
and sulking. They may attack others for failing to recognize their needs for affection,
but accuse those who offer nurturance of seeking to compromise their independence.
Disposed to anticipate disappointments and fearful of facing others openly, they may
strike out indirectly by obstructing their actions and misrepresenting their wishes. They
often report feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, and demeaned, and their mood is
generally much more erratic than in the basic avoidant pattern. During periods when
stresses are minimal, they may deny past resentments and portray an image of general
contentment. Under slight pressures, however, their pacific surface quickly gives way to
impulsive hostility. Unable to orient emotions and thoughts logically, they may at times
become lost in personal irrelevancies and autistic asides, further alienating them from
others. Relating to such individuals, undoubtedly, is an arduous process, requiring far
more patience than most people are likely to offer. This interpersonal strategy, as you
can see, fulfills the avoidant’s circular struggle; it vilifies others and discourages their
closeness (keeping them safe from harm), yet ensures the avoidant’s unwanted isolation.

Theodore Millon definitely "sang" my life with his words. Have you ever experienced the strange feeling of having someone you never knew describing you with extreme accuracy?

[thebigcheese]

Have you ever experienced the strange feeling of having someone you never knew describing you with extreme accuracy?

Heh. That is kinda creepy when it happens. As for the actual quote, I think some of it describes me pretty well too.