Dating Advice

[Imogen]

I need advice. I really like a guy from my book group. I've already asked him out for drinks, which he accepted, but we went with two other girls who are friends of ours. I want to ask him out on a date, but I've never done that before in my entire life. So, how do youa sk someone out without losing too much face if he rejects me?

[Rifka]

Invite him to something casual. Get tickets to a movie or play or concert or something. Then you can say "Hey, I have 2 tickets to ____. Want to go with me?" That way it's not as intimidating as "will you go out with me," and if he says no, at least you can go to a fun show with someone else. (BTW, if he says he can't b/c he's busy, I'd ask him if there's another time you can do something. If he's really not interested he'll say no or make up another excuse, but if he is, he'll say yes and you'll know.) Good job being bold enough to ask a guy out!

[Marduk]

Good job being bold enough to ask a guy out!

Seconded. Also, I have no advice for how to proceed in this circumstance. Sorry. But good luck!

[TheBlackSheep]

I second the having two tickets to some fun event idea.

[Imogen]

y'all are brilliant. i get two free tickets to every show at the community theatre since i'm a theatre arts teacher. i'm going to ask him to join me at a melodrama.

[Rifka]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes (if you feel comfortable sharing that here).

[Katya]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes (if you feel comfortable sharing that here).

Comfort schmomfort. I want dating gossip!

[Imogen]

no worries! i'll give you all the sordid details, but it'll have to wait a week because i won't be in town to go to shows until july. BUT i'm probably going to ask him next week. i'll let you know if he says yes.

[Imogen]

ok so....i'm asking him out tonight. hopefully i'll be able to post something celebratory and not something sad face.

[NerdGirl]

Yay! Good luck!

[Emiliana]

Woo! Go Imogen!

[Rifka]

Good luck, Imogen!

[Imogen]

so, he has to work...but he gave me a hug after book group...so...that's where i'm at. is being honest and saying "hey, i think you're really interesting and cool and i'd really like to hang out sometime" totally lame and too forward?

[Rifka]

I don't think it's too lame and forward. If I were a guy I'd be really impressed that a girl had the courage to say that to me. I'm all for being more honest in the dating game and less beating around the bush.

[Marduk]

Agreed with Rifka. If you think that's too forward, you can keep going this route, but it is much more likely to have ups and downs.

[Imogen]

Agreed with Rifka. If you think that's too forward, you can keep going this route, but it is much more likely to have ups and downs.

i mentioned this before, but i'm gunshy because i've had many guys tell me my perceived confidence and what have you are off-putting because guys want to chase girls. and when i shot back with "i thought you hated girls who played games," i got back, "well, i do. but you still have to play them because guys actually like them."

i'm just gonna do it and see what happens.

[Rifka]

Agreed with Rifka. If you think that's too forward, you can keep going this route, but it is much more likely to have ups and downs.

i mentioned this before, but i'm gunshy because i've had many guys tell me my perceived confidence and what have you are off-putting because guys want to chase girls. and when i shot back with "i thought you hated girls who played games," i got back, "well, i do. but you still have to play them because guys actually like them."

i'm just gonna do it and see what happens.

If you think about it, though, would you really want to be with someone that thinks your confidence is intimidating?

Good luck being forward!

[Marduk]

Also, Imogen, different strokes and all that, but I, myself, and most guys I know, do not in fact enjoy those kinds of games.

[Imogen]

so i took the chicken's way out and sent him a facebook message inviting him out for a drink (which he's agreed to before). so....now i wait again.

[krebscout]

Also, Imogen, different strokes and all that, but I, myself, and most guys I know, do not in fact enjoy those kinds of games.

Hey Sauron, who was it again that initiated our first hand-holding? And first kiss? Hard-to-get is for the birds. The birds who get a lot of dates anyway.