68471 - Women and gossip

[Katya]

https://theboard.byu.edu/questions/68471/

At least one study suggests that men gossip more than women. (I don't doubt the reader's experience with this particular clique, but it does no good to simply repeat the stereotype that [Mormon] women are especially gossipy without supporting that statement with evidence.)

Also, I'm confused about the reader using the word "middle aged" to describe the women in the group, since she also described it as a "play group." Women who are middle aged (i.e., 40-60 or so) wouldn't typically have children young enough to participate in a play group.

[NerdGirl]

Having worked in male-dominated workplaces for many years, I could easily believe that men gossip at least as much as women do.

[Katya]

We may also be more quick to define women's conversations as gossip than men's conversations.

[Marduk]

What are you two girls gossiping about in here?

[Whistler]

in my experience, being home too much makes me incredibly judgemental of small differences. Like "why do they use the church building instead of their home for their friend game night thing" and "they shouldn't leave their yippy dog out all day," and "I hate kids playing in the streets and screaming outside my window they deserve to get kidnapped." I'm aware of my sudden judgements, and I try to just keep them to myself or my husband... but I'm amazing at how cranky I can be.

[Katya]

What are you two girls gossiping about in here?

Your shoes. We hate them.

[Katya]

in my experience, being home too much makes me incredibly judgemental of small differences.

Interesting. Do you think it's a particular kind of stress or maybe the lack of a change of scene?

[Whistler]

Maybe feeling stuck is part of it... I think there's also an element of "no one likes me!" and then the defensive "these are stupid people and I don't want to be friends with them anyway." It's petty, but I think insecurity might be at the heart of a lot of gossip.

[Katya]

It's petty, but I think insecurity might be at the heart of a lot of gossip.

That makes sense. Because if you're self-confident, then you don't see the need to tear others down. I think homogeneity also plays into it. If you're mainly socializing with people who are very similar, then the little differences start to seem huge (and therefore worth commenting on).

[NerdGirl]

What are you two girls gossiping about in here?

Your shoes. We hate them.

Yeah, they totally make your feet look fat.

[yayfulness]

I think homogeneity also plays into it. If you're mainly socializing with people who are very similar, then the little differences start to seem huge (and therefore worth commenting on).

Definitely. I think a lot of gossip happens without people fully realizing that they're gossiping, simply because they think of themselves as just talking about [insert whatever it is] about someone else that's so out of the ordinary.