NCMO

Portia · Post by **Portia** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:23 am

Ooooh! Pick me!

I'm for NCMO in general, but against it in this case. Storytime!

I'm fairly emotionally distant. Add that to my drive, and it's no surprise that I have plenty of experience in this field.

I came to it late, well after my first stint at BYU, through which I had serious boyfriends the entire time. When I returned to Utah, I had Phase I. Besides an adventure with the Cursed Car-Totalling Ladybug from God, I had fine experiences. It was more like regular dating with macking as the main event.

I returned to Washington, dated the guy for another year, then the Cancer Debacle happened. Unleash Phase II. This is where my numbers really ramped up. I was in no place emotionally or otherwise to pursue a serious relationship, and due to the great stress, I was looking for, well, stress relief. I had many varied and interesting experiences over those 16 months, everything from one-offs with sophomore Ute guys 4 or 5 years my junior, to semi-serious quasi-relationships, to a more normal meet/go out/make out timeline. (that last was with a non-Mormon, who was, quite frankly, a lot more decent and respectful than the majority of the LDS guys. Go figure.)

The only really regrettable incident was succumbing to the shameless advances of my co-worker. Not only was this emotionally wrenching, since I was forced to see the guy every day and we couldn't stand each other, it's come back to haunt me because we will shortly be coworkers again. Is that what you want, crazy chick??

So, we'd sworn off each other, and it was that time that I became very close to Missionary Boy. Believe it or not, I have actual emotions, and I respected his uptight standards (not so much as cuddling, sigh). Out of the blue, when my guard was down and I was lonely with Missionary Boy on vacation, Detested Coworker texts me, and I find myself mid-hookup. I burst out into tears, tell him it's too confusing, that I don't even like him, that I have feelings for someone else. Dude, that is about the only way your proposed scenario can go down.

A few months and men later, I found a guy who had all the good qualities of the Missionary Boy (same mission, when it comes to that), but a good 10 years on him and a willingness to put a mouth on it. He was more like Tootles, in that his own not-insignificant NCMO backlog had left him feeling empty, and wanting so much more. He also really wanted to be in love.

I mostly had felt desirable, and more able to vocalize my own desires. We got plenty physical right away, but it was definitely CMO, this time. I had not become some kind of Japanese sex robot who was unable to feel empathy or relate to a guy who was dating material. By this time, my mom had passed away, and I felt able to make that step that I couldn't have made before.

So, go NCMO wild, young padawan. It's cheaper than therapy and you could very well get ice cream out of it. But no matter what, see the thrill of danger and conquest as the opportunity to move the heck on. It was so very incredibly painful trying to rekindle the flame of hate passion. The flame of love passion? Ugh, no, no, no, no, no.