Mission Guilt

[Imogen]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/73044/

It sounds to me like this person was sexually assaulted. When someone uses threats to get you to do something you don't want to do, that's not a sin on your part, THAT'S ASSAULT!!

[Katya]

Oh, I didn't read that question carefully enough to catch that. That's horrible! No wonder she can't get over it, if she's been traumatized. (And insert rant about how this is why we need more female input in resolving issues like this.) Have you submitted a comment pointing this out?

[NerdGirl]

Wow, yeah. That does not sound like consensual sex to me.

[Imogen]

Oh, I didn't read that question carefully enough to catch that. That's horrible! No wonder she can't get over it, if she's been traumatized. (And insert rant about how this is why we need more female input in resolving issues like this.) Have you submitted a comment pointing this out?

I haven't. Do you think I should? I agree that she needs to see a counselor, and maybe a counselor can point that out to her? It's not uncommon for victims of sexual assualt to feel guilty and like they did something wrong when they are truly victims.

[S.A.M.]

Please do submit a comment. It is a valid, and valuable point for the Board readers to recognize.

[Katya]

Oh, I didn't read that question carefully enough to catch that. That's horrible! No wonder she can't get over it, if she's been traumatized. (And insert rant about how this is why we need more female input in resolving issues like this.) Have you submitted a comment pointing this out?

I haven't. Do you think I should? I agree that she needs to see a counselor, and maybe a counselor can point that out to her? It's not uncommon for victims of sexual assualt to feel guilty and like they did something wrong when they are truly victims.

I think you absolutely should, because it's something the writers missed. (And I sincerely hope that she simply didn't mention the indicators of assault to her bishop, because I'm pretty pissed off if he missed it, too.)

[Imogen]

Ok, I submitted one. I hope it gets accepted because I really feel for that girl. I know how she feels all too well.

[Squirrel]

Good for you, Imogen. I didn't see it either- thanks for catching that!

[thatonemom]

I wonder how many people missed her last paragraph the first time through her question. I know I did, too. Thanks for bringing that up, Imogen. I think it's also telling that she alludes to needing to forgive. To me that definitely implies that the other person did something unwanted to her. Why would you feel the need to forgive someone who hadn't done you any harm?
Also curious if any of the female writers would have given a different answer/perspective.

[vorpal blade]

I wonder if the guy involved was from India. Threatening to kill yourself to manipulate your partner into doing what you want him or her to do seems fairly common in Bollywood movies. Young people need to be taught to resist emotional blackmail.

[Imogen]

I wonder if the guy involved was from India. Threatening to kill yourself to manipulate your partner into doing what you want him or her to do seems fairly common in Bollywood movies. Young people need to be taught to resist emotional blackmail.

Race/ethnicity has nothing to do with emotional manipulation or sexual assault.

[Portia]

Race/ethnicity has nothing to do with emotional manipulation or sexual assault.

Yup.