I'm quoting bob here because for some reason I can't see her post on the actual thread.bobtheenchantedone wrote:Absolutely not. There can be wrong times or places to talk about your problems, bad people to talk to, or temporary moods that make talking unproductive, but "I'mma not talk about my problems, ever" is totally unhealthy. Not to mention thinking that way is self-fulfilling. Taking better care of your physical body will definitely help (at least, I know it helps me a ton) but don't forget that anxiety is mental too. You have to take care of your mental and emotional selves or you're only dealing with part of the problem.Portia wrote:Talking about your problems makes them worse.
Dysfunctional Families
Moderator: Marduk
Re: Dysfunctional Families
Re: Answers I liked
I hear you. I tried the BYU counseling center 3 times (with 3 different counselors) and never stuck with it more than 7 sessions. I just didn't feel like I really connected with the counselors there. I had one counselor who was convinced that I was an OCD handwasher because I had chapped hands and wouldn't listen to me when I kept telling her that they were only chapped because it was winter and 20 degrees outside (and it had nothing to do with my reasons for coming to her, anyway)! I think she was a little OCD herself!Portia wrote:I've only tried BYU-affiliated ones. Not to paint them with a broad brush (I was glad they honored confidentiality, and I LOVED that freaking biofeedback lab), but I just never had a great experience.
Now I'm going to a non-BYU counselor and I love love love her. (Well, sometimes I kind of hate her because she pushes me to do things I don't want to do, but know I should. In the end, though, I'm usually glad she did. And she understands when I hate/am mad at her at times. She even told me I'm welcome to go home and stick pins in a voodoo doll of her if it makes me feel better. (Ironically, I actually have a voodoo doll, but that's another story))
So yeah, that whole long rambling was to say it's worth it to keep trying until you find one that really clicks with you (and make sure you give it enough time to be sure-- it can take more than a couple of visits to really get a feel for whether a particular therapist works for you). Yeah, it's a fat pain to have to keep trying and switching and telling your whole long sob story over so many times, but it's so totally worth it to get the right counselor. Hang in there! (And if you're interested in trying my counselor or another at the place I go to (I also really love the office my counselor works at), let me know and I'll send you a PM with the contact information).
Re: Dysfunctional Families
Thanks for the tip, Rifka. I'd take you up on it but I've moved out of the area.
Attempting to schedule an appointment initially is literally one of the worst things to ever happen to me. And I'm getting flak from my supervisor for wanting to take a half-day to visit the dentist. :'( So how I would even schedule these appointments is beyond me...
I'll soldier on and do this when I should be doing work-work, but I still find it pretty ironic and upsetting that I wouldn't likely need this if the move weren't so stressful. I feel like we work to have insurance so we can afford meds to deal with our work. It's a very post-industrial, Western mentality, and I think it's kind of crazy (same with physical health).
I actually think that ruminating or talking about your problems sometimes does make them worse, bob, especially if they're insoluble. Some people cope better with writing, or music, or email, or physical contact. I am willing to hear your perspective more on this, but I don't think couch therapy helps everyone.
Attempting to schedule an appointment initially is literally one of the worst things to ever happen to me. And I'm getting flak from my supervisor for wanting to take a half-day to visit the dentist. :'( So how I would even schedule these appointments is beyond me...
I'll soldier on and do this when I should be doing work-work, but I still find it pretty ironic and upsetting that I wouldn't likely need this if the move weren't so stressful. I feel like we work to have insurance so we can afford meds to deal with our work. It's a very post-industrial, Western mentality, and I think it's kind of crazy (same with physical health).
I actually think that ruminating or talking about your problems sometimes does make them worse, bob, especially if they're insoluble. Some people cope better with writing, or music, or email, or physical contact. I am willing to hear your perspective more on this, but I don't think couch therapy helps everyone.
Re: Dysfunctional Families
Okay, I've written down five phone numbers of therapists who accept my (stupid, HMO, annoying) insurance plan.
They're all close to me, and although I judge their cheesy, badly-edited websites, I will call and see how it goes. If they don't take evenings or weekends, then they're out. If they blame everything on the dead mom (maybe I should be stealth and not mention it), they're out. Since we've made this a consumer process, like shopping around for Thai food or an eyelash curler (what happened to supportive social networks? what is wrong with the world?!), then I can comparison shop with the best of 'em.
They're all close to me, and although I judge their cheesy, badly-edited websites, I will call and see how it goes. If they don't take evenings or weekends, then they're out. If they blame everything on the dead mom (maybe I should be stealth and not mention it), they're out. Since we've made this a consumer process, like shopping around for Thai food or an eyelash curler (what happened to supportive social networks? what is wrong with the world?!), then I can comparison shop with the best of 'em.