Is it lame to stay in Utah?

[NerdGirl]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/74829/

No it is not. Not at all. Regardless of the reason. One of the most liberating things I have realized is that I can live where I want to live, and it doesn't even matter why. I like Calgary, so I'm going to stay here forever if at all possible. Why should you be embarrassed to want to stay in Utah? It's your business, and you even a pretty good reason - wanting to meet single men who share your religion. Just stay and don't feel lame about it.

[mic0]

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/74829/
One of the most liberating things I have realized is that I can live where I want to live, and it doesn't even matter why.

Such a great attitude! I still feel like I should have a "real" reason to live somewhere - but guess what? It's okay to live somewhere because you just feel like it, or because of a person (or people) you like, or whatever.

[Concorde]

For sure you can live wherever you want for whatever reason you want. That's why it's your life and not mine. I would be very unhappy living in a place if I only stayed there for one particular guy and things ended up not working out. I just hope she's genuinely happy in Utah if she decides to stay, regardless of marriage candidates. I wouldn't stick around for one person that I'm not at least good friends with. I mean, it sounds like she's making major life decisions based on a pretty big what-if involving someone she doesn't know very well and that is just something I wouldn't feel comfortable doing. But who knows. It's her decision to be made in accordance with God's will and I should go jump off a bridge.

[mic0]

...and I should go jump off a bridge.

Well that escalated quickly! I definitely understand where you're coming from, just on the other hand it seems pretty harmless if she (1) likes Utah, (2) can get a job. Presumably she knows other people, too, since she went to school there. A great thing about life is that different decisions work for different people. I think I'm more on your side, to be honest, in that I personally wouldn't do that, mostly because I don't like Utah enough. <3

[Portia]

I officially put in my resignation yesterday, and a huge chunk of that decision is yes, a guy I met (and we both went to BYU, no less!), who yes, lives in Utah. I accept my adventurelessness.

[NerdGirl]

For sure you can live wherever you want for whatever reason you want. That's why it's your life and not mine. I would be very unhappy living in a place if I only stayed there for one particular guy and things ended up not working out. I just hope she's genuinely happy in Utah if she decides to stay, regardless of marriage candidates. I wouldn't stick around for one person that I'm not at least good friends with. I mean, it sounds like she's making major life decisions based on a pretty big what-if involving someone she doesn't know very well and that is just something I wouldn't feel comfortable doing. But who knows. It's her decision to be made in accordance with God's will and I should go jump off a bridge.

Just to clarify, I wasn't disagreeing with your answer at all (or the other answer), and I definitely agree with you that if she would rather be elsewhere but is sticking around just in case something works out with a guy, then that's maybe not always the best decision. My response was more of a reaction to all of the people I know who have gone to BYU, or wherever else for college, and actually liked it there, but moved away because moving away from where you went to college is what you do. My only point is if you like living somewhere or want to stay somewhere for whatever reason, then live there. I actually really like Provo and would have maybe considered staying there permanently if it weren't for the fact that I'm a Canadian who wants to live in Canada. And when I moved to Calgary, I kind of thought it would be temporary like everywhere else I've moved, but I have decided that I'm staying here for the only reason that I like it here, despite the fact that people I know in more exotic places think it's lame.

[Concorde]

Haha, you guys... I am way too defensive.

I definitely see your points and agree. In fact, I adore Provo and all of Utah (which is not something I ever thought I would profess). While I do love it, I'm so restless to the point where I almost don't understand how everyone isn't as restless as me. I would love to stay in Provo if I also didn't desperately want to try living in other places, too. Such a conundrum.

But I hear Calgary is quite nice. I think my old seminary teacher is from that area. She used to talk about it all the time.

But then again, she talked all the time in general.

[Emiliana]

Story time! Once upon a time, I lived in Uganda for a couple of years, and then decided to move back to the United States. As it turns out, deciding to move to "The United States" is a very vague decision, and I eventually had to pick a real live city and state to move to. I picked a city that "happened" to be about 30 miles away from a young man I'd spent a lot of time talking to on Skype and who insisted that he would date me if I were within dateable distance. Long story short, he changed his mind three days after I moved back and I hated my life for the next six months. BUT THEN! I met Marx, got a job, and lived happily ever after, all in the town 30 miles from He Who Must Not Be Named.

The moral of the story is ... actually I'm not sure what the moral is exactly. Maybe that you never know what's going to happen when you move somewhere, so if you don't have a compelling reason why another city is better, there's probably no harm in moving for a guy?

[Portia]

The moral of the story is ... actually I'm not sure what the moral is exactly. Maybe that you never know what's going to happen when you move somewhere, so if you don't have a compelling reason why another city is better, there's probably no harm in moving for a guy?

My mentor at work got engaged very young, probably around 20. Her now-husband had been accepted to the TAPIF program. (He's a French and English major too, and organized the Wisconsin Book Festival.) He thought, "anywhere but Clermont Ferrand!"

He gets to Clermont Ferrand, realizes he wants to get married, and promptly tells them that his mom is dying of cancer. (This does, indeed, prove a good excuse in life.) They got married and now ten years later they have a kid.

I love this story. So she was like, "go, move back home, Portia! When it's right, it's right!"