Portia wrote:I guess I just don't see how her marriage can end well. Maybe I don't spend enough time with alpha Mormons, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I think so too, but divorce is so stigmatized for Mormons that I could easily see her and her husband hanging on to a broken marriage, or him just being passive and putting up with it.
I think my other roommate's marriage will end, though. She was married at twenty, as well. She got engaged in March, a few months after the other roommate (I think she felt partially pressured into it because the other girl was getting married and she wanted the attention, and didn't want to get left behind) to a guy she had known for two weeks. She was married by July. She was the type of girl who doesn't know how to be single and doesn't feel complete if she's not with someone, even if she doesn't particularly like them (and she was never really that into any of her boyfriends, which boggled my mind, because I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I don't really like all that much).
She never really liked her boyfriends because she cheated on every single one of the 5 or 6 she had in the two years I knew her. She was constantly spending the night at a boyfriend's house and leading him on (which bothered me because of the Honor Code-not so much that she was fooling around with a guy, because I couldn't care less about that, but that she was showing a serious lack of integrity by not following something she said she would follow), while cuddling and making out with an ex or another guy the next night. I don't think she ever had actual intercourse of any kind, but I know she got fairly close with several in the course of a month and still managed to get married in the temple six months later. She would show up at the apartment at 7 AM while I was getting ready for school and tell me the same lie every morning "I went to go get some stuff I left at his place" as if I was some kind of idiot and couldn't figure it out. The lying bothered me as well. I just wanted my roommates to be straight with me.
She strung along like 6 guys and they all eventually figured out she was cheating on them. Some were passive and put up with it and others got angry but came back to her. I never understood it. She was just as pretty as the rest of us, but just way more touchy and really good at putting on a helpless front. And she went for guys that were way beneath my standards, so that helped explain it. I remember she talked to me once about her cheating problem and cried about it and told me that one boyfriend had told her "When you get married and end up cheating, it better be in the first few months or else he isn't going to keep you" and she bawled some more and basically just said she didn't know how to stop and didn't think she could stop cheating. She said she didn't even realize half the time that she was being touchy and overly-flirty. She asked me for my help and told me to point out whenever she was being inappropriate with a guy other than her boyfriend, but when I started pointing things out she would just shrug it off and continue. At one point in time she had three guys that she'd promised she would marry and I just felt so bad for all these guys who were so head over heels in love with her.
Anyway, she'd been dating one guy, B, for like seven months, and then this new guy, S, started showing interest in her mid-February, so she cheated on B and started dating S at the same time. I remember one night she was making out with B on the couch and in walks S and somehow she got away with it. She broke it off with B and two weeks into dating S, after she'd told me and everyone else that she didn't want to get married anytime soon, she got engaged to S (who was a real loser of a guy, if you ask me) and was married by July.
She literally doesn't understand commitment and with her history of being unfaithful, I wouldn't be surprised if their marriage ends within five or so years because the whole thing was so rushed and she was another one of those spoiled rich girls. She dropped me as a friend as well. But of course, she was cossetted and lauded as a good little Mormon girl getting married.
Tl;DR: Marriage ruins everything and I'm a whiner. Also I tend to choose really crappy friends.
