Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Concorde wrote:

Portia wrote:Concorde, I forgive you for the countless wrongs you have committed against me. You need to take some time to recover emotionally.

(Seriously, I gasped.)

So did my roommate. She walked into the apartment just in time to see me stabbing a squash with lipstick and eyeliner on it on the living room carpet. If she didn't already think I was nuts, she thinks so now.

Ha. I can only imagine.

Concorde wrote:She walked into the apartment just in time to see me stabbing a squash with lipstick and eyeliner on it on the living room carpet. If she didn't already think I was nuts, she thinks so now.

And looking at pictures of murdered vegetables is why my roommates think I'm nuts.

That answer was seriously hilarious. I'm sorry it had to come at such a cost.

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/75598/

There is no reason to buy eighty million presents for a couple unless you just want to. (I only invited a small handful of girls to my bachelorette party, and only maybe half of them brought gifts. (In the non-Mormon world, lingerie and miscellaneous sexual goodies are standard bachelorette fare.)) I also liked Genuine's point about gifts being like Social Security. Someday I will be able to afford lots of nice gifts for people! That will be fun!

I just saw a post on facebook where one of my friends mentioned that they had 5 baby showers, and the baby isn't even here yet. Granted, 3 of them were surprises, but seriously?

Ug, that many baby showers would kill me. "For the next shower, everybody should just LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE."

That reminds me of when my grandma threw me another bridal shower two days before my wedding (because she didn't get to go to the other one? because more of my family was here?). It wasn't too bad, but there is something embarrassing about your grandma giving you lingerie.

As long as we're on the subject of bridal showers, I'd like to share this gem.

yayfulness wrote:As long as we're on the subject of bridal showers, I'd like to share this gem.

He might be my favorite BYU personality. Also, this is fantastic.

My mom and cousin once gave another cousin an empty box for a bridal shower with a note on the outside, "to wear on your wedding night." The poor, naive girl opened it and in genuine confusion said, "But there's nothing in here!"

They were most worried about the reaction it would pull from their mothers who were present, but apparently they're the ones that laughed the hardest.

That's a really funny gift!

Heehee! I am going to steal that idea sometime...

Giovanni Schwartz wrote:I just saw a post on facebook where one of my friends mentioned that they had 5 baby showers, and the baby isn't even here yet. Granted, 3 of them were surprises, but seriously?

The showers or the babies? ;)

Can someone please make some "sole mate" puns for me? Pretty please?

I firmly believe in sole mates. I only wear matching shoes.

I thought we could be sole mates, but we got off on the wrong foot.

mic0 wrote:Can someone please make some "sole mate" puns for me? Pretty please?

I was waiting for those in the original answer, but they didn't come.

Guess they weren't feeling pedantic

How to propose was adorable!

Here's my own attempt.

Portia: Something elaborate, like a piano appearing in my driveway, then taking me to a nice bar and the ring being around the stem of a glass, then whipping out the airline tickets.

Imogen: He'd better be older and have his life together. I think the real key to her heart would be through her students. After he donated a bunch of costumes and props to her school, she'd realize he's the one. Then he'd take her to his house (that he owned) and ask over a funny movie.

Violet: I think she'd really have to know the guy and be comfortable with him. I think she has a romantic and a pragmatic side, so something classic like the Empire State Building (or insert something else urban). I think she'd marry someone close to her in age, and that they'll live in a studio apartment doing creative stuff (he might be a photographer, for instance).

Uffish: I bet he'd have a beard. I think she'd want something straightforward, and maybe that made her laugh. Anything else?

bob: This one is hard because she has been dating someone exclusively for much longer than anyone here. Maybe she'll pop the question.

Katya: I feel like the only guy worthy of her would be one of those guys that's really, really smart but so humble about it you don't know it from casual conversation. It would have to be thoughtful, from the material of the ring to the proposal. A library scavenger hunt, maybe?

TBS: This one I imagine being the most down-to-earth. You have to get married now, in solidarity! ;-)

Portia wrote:...the airline tickets.

Tickets to where?