Humor will not be tolerated!! -Portia

Ace wrote:However, I don't think that your son's sexual orientation is in any way related to your skills as a dad. People are going to be attracted to whomever they're attracted to, and it really has nothing to do with their parents.

So, so, so, so good. Thank you!

This question made me realize how relatively good my boyfriend and I have it. We make 2.5 times that, combined, no kids. Our insurance isn't great, but it will do, and we get to eat out, buy new clothes when we want, and go to movies all the time. And we sometimes feel "broke," so yeah.

I assume that this will be the type of couple benefited by the ACA. My best friend from college got herself into a situation like this, and it stresses me out. (But I don't say anything, because tact.)

Portia wrote:This question made me realize how relatively good my boyfriend and I have it. We make 2.5 times that, combined, no kids. Our insurance isn't great, but it will do, and we get to eat out, buy new clothes when we want, and go to movies all the time. And we sometimes feel "broke," so yeah.

I assume that this will be the type of couple benefited by the ACA. My best friend from college got herself into a situation like this, and it stresses me out. (But I don't say anything, because tact.)

Are you gonna link to a question here?

Dragon Lady wrote:

Portia wrote:This question made me realize how relatively good my boyfriend and I have it. We make 2.5 times that, combined, no kids. Our insurance isn't great, but it will do, and we get to eat out, buy new clothes when we want, and go to movies all the time. And we sometimes feel "broke," so yeah.

I assume that this will be the type of couple benefited by the ACA. My best friend from college got herself into a situation like this, and it stresses me out. (But I don't say anything, because tact.)

Are you gonna link to a question here?

Here you go.

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76078/

HubPages is nice. I signed up and wrote like 16 hubs quickly but haven't touched it in like two years, but a couple of times a year, I get an email saying that they put some Ad Program earnings in my PayPal account. The last one was about $57 a month ago.

https://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76065/

yay's girl wrote:This sweet little old sister then proceeded to no longer be sweet, although I'm sure she was still old.

This made me laugh, so hard!

http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76093/

One huge aspect of the gay male relationship that I appreciate is the more leveled playing field that we have. We’re both men. If one of us opens the door for the other on a whim of affection or chivalry, it wasn’t expected because he was the “man.” It was simply a nice gesture. If one of us cooks dinner once, or every night for that matter, it isn’t because he’s the “woman” of the relationship. He’s probably just better at it than his partner.

Huh. That's really interesting.

Katya wrote:http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76093/

One huge aspect of the gay male relationship that I appreciate is the more leveled playing field that we have. We’re both men. If one of us opens the door for the other on a whim of affection or chivalry, it wasn’t expected because he was the “man.” It was simply a nice gesture. If one of us cooks dinner once, or every night for that matter, it isn’t because he’s the “woman” of the relationship. He’s probably just better at it than his partner.

Huh. That's really interesting.

That is fascinating. And the whiny part of me says, "How come if I do something stereotypically feminine in my marriage, people just assume that it's because I'm the woman, then?" Because, let's be honest, I'm better at cooking than Yellow. And he's better and getting dishes done than I am. One keeps stereotypes and one breaks them. I feel like in heterosexual relationships, if someone fulfills a gender stereotype, people just assume they're doing it *because* of the stereotype. Not because they honestly want to do it. Me staying at home, for example, is actually what I *want* to do. I'm not doing it because culture dictated I should.

Dragon Lady wrote:

Katya wrote:http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76093/

One huge aspect of the gay male relationship that I appreciate is the more leveled playing field that we have. We’re both men. If one of us opens the door for the other on a whim of affection or chivalry, it wasn’t expected because he was the “man.” It was simply a nice gesture. If one of us cooks dinner once, or every night for that matter, it isn’t because he’s the “woman” of the relationship. He’s probably just better at it than his partner.

Huh. That's really interesting.

That is fascinating. And the whiny part of me says, "How come if I do something stereotypically feminine in my marriage, people just assume that it's because I'm the woman, then?" Because, let's be honest, I'm better at cooking than Yellow. And he's better and getting dishes done than I am. One keeps stereotypes and one breaks them. I feel like in heterosexual relationships, if someone fulfills a gender stereotype, people just assume they're doing it *because* of the stereotype. Not because they honestly want to do it. Me staying at home, for example, is actually what I *want* to do. I'm not doing it because culture dictated I should.

This is why my friend Walker totally fascinates me. He seems like he'd be the total sterotypical, uber-Christian male. But he's a legit feminist, he's very anti-gender roles in general, but his wife stays home with their daughters. She worked for the first years of their marriage while they saved up for a home/baby, but she really wanted to be at home with their kids because they see it as having great value to society. So while they live a life a life that looks super stereotypical from the outside, the nuances are much more complex.

Dragon Lady wrote:

Katya wrote:http://theboard.byu.edu/questions/76093/

One huge aspect of the gay male relationship that I appreciate is the more leveled playing field that we have. We’re both men. If one of us opens the door for the other on a whim of affection or chivalry, it wasn’t expected because he was the “man.” It was simply a nice gesture. If one of us cooks dinner once, or every night for that matter, it isn’t because he’s the “woman” of the relationship. He’s probably just better at it than his partner.

Huh. That's really interesting.

That is fascinating. And the whiny part of me says, "How come if I do something stereotypically feminine in my marriage, people just assume that it's because I'm the woman, then?" Because, let's be honest, I'm better at cooking than Yellow. And he's better and getting dishes done than I am. One keeps stereotypes and one breaks them. I feel like in heterosexual relationships, if someone fulfills a gender stereotype, people just assume they're doing it *because* of the stereotype. Not because they honestly want to do it. Me staying at home, for example, is actually what I *want* to do. I'm not doing it because culture dictated I should.

That's fair.

It remind me of when Petra was miserable in her PhD program and wanted to drop out, but she'd just gotten married and she was terrified of the stereotype of girls dropping out of school because they got married. (She did drop out, eventually, but she stayed in the program at least a year longer than she should have.)

At the same time, choices aren't made in a vacuum, and if you choose to fit a cultural norm or expectation, then you're going to get more social support for that, as opposed to someone who decides to buck the trend, for whatever reasons.

What's interesting about homosexual couples is that they don't have any preexisting gender-based division of labor to draw on, so they have to do a lot more negotiating about who's going to do what and why, instead of making default assumptions.

My boyfriend wants to stay home with our putative offspring, something I would have no desire to do, ever. This plays a large part in our desire to move out of state ... I highly doubt it will be seen as a "big deal" in a blue state. Maybe he can even be buddies with the gay stay at home dads. :-)

I also assume that the LGBT population is rather less likely to belong to conservative religions which prescribe gender roles in families a priori.

Katya wrote:What's interesting about homosexual couples is that they don't have any preexisting gender-based division of labor to draw on, so they have to do a lot more negotiating about who's going to do what and why, instead of making default assumptions.

An interesting (and long) article on just this issue:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... _page=true

I'll admit it, I chuckled at the XKCD for yay.

I think we all laughed at the XKCD for yay. It's absolutely perfect.

Hehe yep.

Amity wrote:

Katya wrote:What's interesting about homosexual couples is that they don't have any preexisting gender-based division of labor to draw on, so they have to do a lot more negotiating about who's going to do what and why, instead of making default assumptions.

An interesting (and long) article on just this issue:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... _page=true

Thank you! I read that a few weeks ago because I couldn't remember where.

Divya's answer to this question was great. Allowing yourself to grieve and taking the support your friends give you is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Also, I highly recommend the taking trips option.

My would have been wedding day was spent traveling across the country because I was moving across the country and inevitably being delayed in Chicago. It was a great way to redirect emotions. I was still upset and definitely thought about the would have beens, but I was also excited to be moving somewhere new, angry at flight delays (yet to fly United without any), and worried about meeting new people.

Also, Anne, Certainly's commentary on musicals. The snarkiness comes through in "CATS, a musical that is probably about something" and I love it.

P.S. Urinetown is fantastic.