Tired Mama

[TheAnswerIs42]

Oh, man. Reading that was like reading one of my journal entries. I remember how awful that time was, and I just feel sick for these guys. It is amazing how much life gets sucked out of you when you aren't getting any rest. I can honestly say that was the worst period for my marriage, because we weren't getting any sleep and started taking it out on each other. Tired Mama, if you are on this board, and want to vent over here, I'm all ears.

To explain my story a bit, my son was very similar. I read Baby Whisperer, but he was waking himself if he broke free from his swaddle. So we had to get him to sleep while physically holding down his arms, and then set him down and walk away quietly enough he didn't wake up. At one point it took four hours of him being in motion (walking, bouncing, etc) for him to go to sleep every single night. Some sections he woke up once an hour. The only thing that was different for us was the binki- he never figured out how to suck on one.

We tried everything. I followed Baby Whisperer to the letter, twice, for three weeks each time with no real results. We tried letting him cry it out, but he was over four hours of crying every single night for three weeks, and I couldn't take it anymore. That is why I feel for these guys, because I know how awful it is.

At the time, I felt like a horrible mother a lot of the time. People were telling me, via books and advice and everything, that I could change his habits, so the fact that he was a bad sleeper meant I was doing things wrong. But - and this is the part that applies to me and only me - now I know my son better and know it wasn't me. My son has learning disabilities. He had trouble learning how to nurse for the first couple of weeks. Couldn't focus on toys. Trouble learning to crawl, walk, and he still doesn't talk much at age four. The fact that he didn't sleep through the night until age two just fits into all of that.

While that last part only applies to me, the lesson I learned applies to everyone. Each child is so different, and you should never listen to anyone who tries to tell you that one method is the only way that you can ever do things without ruining your child! I think Baby Whisperer gives you some good concepts and steers you clear of major problems (start as you mean to go on, etc), but no method is a blanket solver for every kid on the planet. And sometimes, you just have to accept that your kid is a tough sleeper even if other people never have a problem with method x, y or z.

Rating Pending was right - attack one thing at a time, be patient, and I promise it will pass eventually. But boy, every night feels so dang long that the last statement is no comfort.