Vorpal's Birthday

[krebscout]

Happy Birthday VB! You have the same birthday as my mother.

[vorpal blade]

Happy Birthday VB! You have the same birthday as my mother.

Thank you. I'm honored to share my birthday with your mother (who is probably younger than me. Oh well). She must be a wonderful person (not because we share a birthday, but knowing you, I mean).

Did your mother find that people often did not remember her on her birthday? My mother seldom would remember my birthday. She said she relied on her calendar, and with all the excitment and activities of Christmas and the New Year she never got around to setting up a new calendar until after my birthday. Her solution (when I was about 16) was to celebrate my birthday on August 2. Why August? No one else in my family of 11 had a birthday in August. So, once or twice they celebrated my birthday in August. Much to the confusion of my father. But, since August was not my real birth month they usually forgot that as well. In January they would say we will celebrate it in August. Late August they would say, looks like we forgot, we'll have to remember to do it in January. So...now you know the story of my life.

[krebscout]

She is indeed a lovely lady, and thank you. And yes, she is younger than you, but she also started having babies at 18.

I'm not sure if her birthday was often forgotten, she's never told me. My dad's birthday is one week later, so from the kid's perspective they reinforce each other.

So...did you not get presents or parties or anything? I hope your wife and kids remember properly, and make up for years of lost cake and ice cream.

[ahem.]

My dad's birthday is one week later, so from the kid's perspective they reinforce each other.

My mom's birthday is right around Mother's Day, and then my parent's anniversary is a few days after that. A week after THAT is my dad's birthday, and a few weeks later we have Father's Day.

So it's not like I would ever be able to forget any of those events because, as krebscout says, they reinforce each other. But they do often get wrapped up and conflated into one giant PARENT REMEMBERING/HONORING/CELEBRATING event.

[bobtheenchantedone]

Random was born the day after Christmas. We always made that day extra-special. And she would have a birthday party for her friends in the summer, so it's like she got to celebrate it twice!

My aunt's birthday is on Christmas, and we celebrate it in June. The end. I don't know how many people actually remember her birthday on Christmas...

[thebigcheese]

My brother's birthday is the day after Christmas, and my sister's birthday is the day before New Year's Eve. We've always celebrated them on the regular days, but I still think they get kinda ripped off.

[NerdGirl]

Happy birthday, Vorpal!

[Tao]

So, I must admit I'm a little confused here, as I was prior to Christmas; do all of you continue to celebrate birthdays and give gifts into adulthood? Or is most of these conversations reflecting on when you were kids?

[Unit of Energy]

Birthdays have always been somewhat of a big deal for me, and I do continue to receive gifts on my birthday from family. As does my brother ten years older than myself. I don't give very many people gifts exactly on their birthday's but I do try to acknowledge and make their birthdays special. Celebrating birthdays is something we do for my parents and aunts and uncles as well. I don't expect gifts on my birthday from friends, although usually I have one or two who do something for it.

[krebscout]

So, I must admit I'm a little confused here, as I was prior to Christmas; do all of you continue to celebrate birthdays and give gifts into adulthood? Or is most of these conversations reflecting on when you were kids?

Of course! Birthdays are holidays, too.

It's been small the past few years (last year Sauron took me to a movie, got dinner, then came home to a crepe party with his family and opened a few presents. Books, cash for a temple dress. We went to the zoo for his, and I think I got him another pair of the shoes he loves that he's been wearing since his mission). But I had an unbeatably huge birthday party for my 21st. Had a foodfight in Kiwanis park with twenty five people or so. It was fantastic.

[Katya]

So, I must admit I'm a little confused here, as I was prior to Christmas; do all of you continue to celebrate birthdays and give gifts into adulthood?

I take it that you don't?

[Tao]

No, we stopped at around age 12. The only person I knew of in high school who still had birthday parties had suffered some head trauma, so I figured that her parents were coddling her. We threw a fair number of parties over random things, but the whole gift giving thing was pretty much phased out in middle school.

Needless to say, college has been an education on many levels.

Happy natal day Vb!

[bobtheenchantedone]

Ha. One of our reader parties doubled as a birthday party for me, complete with presents from family and friends.

[Katya]

No, we stopped at around age 12. The only person I knew of in high school who still had birthday parties had suffered some head trauma, so I figured that her parents were coddling her. We threw a fair number of parties over random things, but the whole gift giving thing was pretty much phased out in middle school.

Needless to say, college has been an education on many levels.

Well, I don't think I had big birthday parties with friends into middle school or high school (except for a surprise birthday party that my friends threw me in high school). I still had family birthday parties until I moved to another state, but they were mostly an excuse for the extended family to get together. Now I have a couple of friends and my parents who give me birthday presents, but that's about it. (And I buy birthday presents for only 2 or 3 people who aren't in my family.)

[Dragon Lady]

It went back and forth at my house. They were never a really big deal, but here and there I had big birthday parties. My first real birthday party was when I was 13. Well, my baby book says I had one at the age of 1, but I don't remember it, so I say it doesn't count. How about, the first party I got to invite people to was when I was 13. When I was 17, my mom and friends put together a huge surprise party for me. We flood irrigate our lawn, so we had a giant water party with a bbq afterwards. That was great fun.

Now Yellow and I give gifts to each other and our parents give us gifts, but that's about it as far as gifts go. We usually give his family something small and often silly on their birthdays. Brother and I will often, but not always, give presents on birthdays.

As for activities, it changes per year. But typically it involves some sort of dinner and/or games with friends and/or family. And Yellow's mom makes a family dinner on the nearest Sunday. Or sometimes will take us out to dinner.

So, it's still pretty chill, but it's not unusual to do something bigger and more fun. And there is usually a few presents going around.

[C is for]

I was just thinking about this!

I don't know why, but I like a big deal made out of my birthday. Everyone doesn't have to make a big deal, but someone ought to. Organized parties with gifts and games have modulated into just the usual get-togethers with maybe some cake, and that's enough for me (or it would be; that's more my popular little sisters' realm).

It seems to me a childish desire, to think that my day should somehow be specialer than other days. I've talked myself out of requiring gifts (though I often get a new sweater or a new book from my parents, who try to acknowledge me occasionally), but on those years where I feel like I didn't get enough recognition, I feel betrayed. It's really quite childish, which is why I'm not going to tell you all the sob stories of my forgotten birthdays.

[vorpal blade]

What a pleasant surprise, a thread entitled "Vorpal's Birthday." How sweet.

My parents tried to remember each of our birthdays as long as we were home. There would also be a birthday cake, candles, singing "Happy Birthday," a favorite meal, and presents. Usually brothers and sisters would also give presents. Sometimes there were balloons tied to our chair at the dinner table. Usually someone did our chores for us that day. We often got to choose any games, movies, or activities the family engaged in. It was a big deal. After we left home my parents tried to remember birthdays by sending presents, or as a minimum a check (about a dollar for every year old we were). Sometimes brothers and sisters would call and wish us happy birthday. An email or a musical card usually suffices these days.

My wife does a good job of remembering my birthday, although sometimes she doesn't remember until the day of my birthday, and then she rushes out to buy a present. She always gives me presents on my birthday. Well, except last weekend. And, except last weekend she always made me some kind of birthday "cake," from scratch. Just like when I was growing up, though, people are pretty tired of sweet things by the time January 2 comes around. Sometimes I get a pie instead of a cake, at my request, actually. But we always sing Happy Birthday. My kids who have grown up and moved away call home on my birthday.

Some of you mentioned birthdays on Christmas or just after Christmas. I have a daughter born the day after Christmas. Sometimes she was the victim (as I have been) of getting presents on Christmas labelled "Christmas and your birthday also." But she says that she never minded having a birthday the day after Christmas. The family is usually together for Christmas vacation, so she usually gets to have her birthday celebrated with all her family together. The rest of her siblings have to celebrate their birthdays alone (or with their own families), for the most part.

As I mentioned this year was an exception. For the first time in our married life my wife and I were not together for New Year's Eve and my birthday. She was sorry she had to miss it, but my eldest daugher was having a baby as you might remember. So she flew to Boston to be with her and help out with their other child. Since I was faced with being home alone I decided to drive up to the Sacramento area were my father lives. As usual he would be joined this New Year's Eve with two of my brothers and two of my sisters.

On New Year's day we were sitting around talking about birthdays being forgotten at this time of the year (I had not brought this up, and was being very quiet about it) when suddenly someone remembered that the next day was my birthday. So one of my brothers went out and bought a cake. Unfortunately with the deteriorating weather condition in California I slipped out of town on Sunday before anyone was awake, and barely made it home before the snow storms hit hard. So, I ended up without any family on my birthday. My children and wife did call, and my family in the Sacramento area called and sang Happy Birthday to me, and told me that they were enjoying my birthday cake. Feeling left out I made myself a birthday cake and have been enjoying it all week.

I've rarely had anyone over to celebrate my birthday other than family. I did have a surprise birthday party with friends when I turned 50.

Well, I hope I wasn't too silly going into all that.

[thebigcheese]

When I was growing up, birthdays were always just a family thing. My mom would make the birthday person's favorite kind of cake, and then we would go out to dinner. The birthday person got to pick the restaurant (which was usually something like McDonald's when we were kids). My parents usually gave a pretty nice gift (spending somewhere in the ballpark of $50), and they still do, even though we are all adults. Since I've been away from home, some of my siblings have started mailing small gifts to me on my birthday, and they usually call me to wish me a happy birthday. And my husband threw me a birthday party while we were engaged. In fact, the only birthday "parties" I've ever had were thrown by my friends in late high school or college. By party, I mean having lots of friends over. I don't consider the little family celebrations to be parties because it really wasn't a very big deal, and we never invited our friends over.

[Marduk]

Thanks for telling us, Vorpal.

I've never had what most would consider a birthday party, at my request. I'm not a huge fan of parties. We always DO have a family dinner, and this we do on Sundays when everyone comes over anyways. This is how we do it for everyone in the family, including cousins, aunts and uncles, and parents. They request a favorite meal, we make sure they are mentioned in the dinner prayer, and we do a cake and singing.

Tao, to counter your story, I wasn't aware that there was anyone who stopped celebrating birthdays, especially not at such a young age.

[Katya]

Tao, to counter your story, I wasn't aware that there was anyone who stopped celebrating birthdays, especially not at such a young age.

Right. Like, I don't remember going to an "invite everyone in your class"-type birthday party past elementary school, but birthdays were certainly still observed past that time.