Probably as rage-y as I get

[TheBlackSheep]

This is about to get all the soap box-y. For some reason I think this is the place to air some of these grievances.

For some reason, I really really REALLY believed that if I was a perfect enough example of how things could be non-threatening and okay, I would be accepted. Not tolerated but accepted. It's hard to watch some of my family members prove me wrong.

I have been as close to a perfect inactive person as they could have asked for. I have never once gone on a tirade against any religion, especially Mormonism. I have never said anything to anyone about how I think the religion is potentially harmful, especially to kids, and I have attended all the church-related family events and visited all the sacrament meetings. I have been excessively careful about how and when I introduced my family to my most serious girlfriend, and I have never pushed them to tolerate drunkenness, sexual behavior, or anything else with which they strongly disagree on their property or within their consciousness.

You cannot tell someone you love them and you want to be around them and simultaneously reject them through your actions. It just isn't okay. Make up your mind.

I really want to comment on the question that posted today about it being hip to stop going to church but I'm going to refrain until today's events are behind me. If it is "hip," that isn't our fault. Maybe that's as far as I should go with that right now.

Except to say, those who leave aren't doing it for hip-ness reasons, necessarily. The only way to honestly doubt does not always include quickly returning to faithfulness. Those kinds of suppositions serve to alienate people like me.

[Portia]

The only way to honestly doubt does not always include quickly returning to faithfulness.

I agree. Even if I did leave to sin, for the sake of argument, how is that anyone's business but mine?

[TheBlackSheep]

But I DIDN'T leave to sin. I also didn't leave because it would make me cool or edgy or popular. I have never felt so alone and I have never lost so many friends. The fact that I didn't decide to stay doesn't mean that I did not have sincere, sincere concerns.

[mic0]

I'm mad on your behalf! Reading the question yesterday got me real angsty, which I haven't been for quite some time, and reading about your experience is frustrating, too. That sounds terrible. Also, if you ever want to rant, you know where to find me.

[TheBlackSheep]

Or that I don't continue to have sincere concerns. There was nothing brief about that moment.

[TheBlackSheep]

mic0, thank you. I will probably take you up on that.

[Portia]

I know the holidays can be really rough, too. :-| If you're in Salt Lake and want to hang out and eat Thai food, you know where to find me. <hugs>

[TheBlackSheep]

Thanks, Portia. As it stands now, I will still probably split the holiday between the Black Ram's family and mine, but I truly appreciate the offer. Please let me know when you're in town.

[Portia]

Also, cross-posted from my thread on this. I think that these Biblical verses are going to give a lot of mental strength I didn't know I had, and hopefully can give you a nice scriptural response. :-)

13 The Pharisees challenged him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness; your testimony is not valid.”

14 Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going.”