My Relief Society president in the Midwest met a guy at our company. Shared values, totally in love, great fit, yadeya. She's (obviously) Mormon, and not only is he irreligious, he has no interest in joining. And you know what our Bishop told her? To marry him if she loves him and they're the right fit for each other! And she is a "stewardship" position over the other women, so I suppose if it's good enough for her, then we can say there is no hard and fast rule about what to do in this situation.
It's certainly not something she thought about lightly, and I'm no idiot, I'm sure from her perspective it's a big deal. However, the tone of these two just really irks me.
Despite their incompatibility? His verbal abuse? Oh ... um, okay ...despite everything
Well, I'm glad you weren't an outright jerk about it, but "very loving" attempts to persuade someone to change their entire worldview often are heavyhanded and ultimatum-y.unresponsive to any (very loving) attempts to introduce it to him
If the positions were reversed, I would be really pissed. Irish (lapsed) Catholic boys seem to have a thing for me. (Is it because we can commiserate on our long, undesired celibacy? My Celtic looks? Unclear.) Let's say that one of them who was still practicing pursued me. Let's say I go with him to Mass, meet his overabundant family, everything's going well. Then he pulls a bait-and-switch that I have to become Catholic or he'll dump me. Well, obviously, if I'm in love with him, then I have strong incentive to feign belief to stick with him. (And let's say he's devout enough to not have sex unless we get married. Incentive increased.) If I follow my convictions, then we're miserable. Wouldn't it be kinder to either accept me for who I am and not expect me to become someone I never claimed to be?
"Flirt to convert" is shortsighted and cruel. I will never contend that a Mormon (or anyone else) has to give up their convictions. Don't hurt other people in your quest, though. Do NOT date someone trying to change them from the outset, full stop.