Baby gift for coworker + wife?

[mic0]

My coworker's wife (let's call her Anna for ease) is pregnant and due in about 2 months. Unfortunately she is having a really hard pregnancy and they don't even know if the baby will survive. She goes to the doctor a couple times a week, gets blood tests, is on a really strict diet, etc. One of my other coworkers and I are going to go hang out with her in the near future, because she doesn't have a very good support system here. (She is Indian, so is her husband, but she has only lived here since they got married less than a year ago.)

Anyway, originally I wanted to arrange for my team to get them a baby gift and we were all going to, but now Anna's health is just not great and the baby is not great, so we are putting off on a team gift. That said, the more I hear about this the more I want to get her something just so she feels like people care about her. I barely know her, though. According to her husband, my coworker, she likes strawberries/blueberries, but that's really something they can get themselves at the store. He says she doesn't read much, which would be my next go-to. Any ideas what to get a woman with a terrible, unsure pregnancy who I hardly know?? Or is it better to take a breath and just see if we can hang out sometime? I have such a strong feeling that I want to do *something* but maybe I need to be patient and hang out with her first.

[Katya]

Flowers?

The thing is, it doesn't sound like she needs stuff so much as she needs emotional support. So, I think that anything that reminds her that you're thinking about her would be fine, even if it is something she could buy for herself. (Or could you bake something with strawberries/blueberries in it or on it?)

Maybe you could also offer to hang out with her and introduce her to one of your favorite movies? (Have you seen "Meet the Patels"? It's a documentary about an Indian-American man whose parents want to arrange a marriage with him and an Indian girl, but he's not so sold on it.)

[mic0]

Good ideas! I think when we visit her (hopefully next week), I can find out what movies or shows she likes and maybe we can do more stuff together. The couple times I met her she just seemed very kind and a bit shy, understandably. I'll look up that movie, too.

[Shrinky Dink]

Perhaps a general giftcard to a local grocery store would be nice. The medical bills could be straining the finances and if not, it can be fun to splurge on food you don't normally get.

[mic0]

That's a really nice idea! My coworker (who is going with me to visit her) talked me down from my excitement. We're going to hang out with the girl next week and then go from there. From what her husband says at work it just sounds like there isn't much going on at home besides being pregnant and ill, so I really hope we all have a nice time together.

[Whistler]

yeah, I second what Katya said--sometimes it really is the thought that matters. Something like a store gift card would be something they could use no matter how the pregnancy ends.

[mic0]

We hung out with her! It was really nice. She seemed glad to get out of the house and surprised her husband never showed us wedding pictures from their very traditional Indian wedding, so we have plans to hang out more and see the pictures. The pregnancy sounds so hard, but actually she seemed less worried than her husband. I wonder if he lets out his worry at work to us making it sound even worse.

[mic0]

Have you seen "Meet the Patels"?

I finally watched it tonight and thought it was pretty good. Interestingly I asked my coworker about it a few weeks ago and he didn't really like it. Getting to know him and his wife better, it seems he is REALLY traditional, so I don't think he enjoyed the Americanization of his culture? I don't know, putting words in his mouth there. He did recommend to me an Indian movie though called "Piku" that is on Netflix, and it is pretty good, too. But I enjoyed "Meet the Patels"!