Most/least polite dating turn-down
Posted: Wed May 25, 2016 9:54 am
Story, then question!
So, there's a young lady I home-taught a few years ago in my old ward. I kind of got vibes that she was interested in me, but the feeling wasn't mutual so I made sure to keep things "professional."
Fast-forward to when I've moved to another town, about a half-hour's drive away. I used to occasionally make appearances at my old ward's activities. I never contact this girl or vice-versa, but about once every 5 or 6 months, I'll get a text or Facebook message from her completely out of the blue that starts off with something like "how's it going?" and then gets a bit flirtier (like "You don't have a girlfriend right now? But you're so awesome! You must be teasing me.") I tried to be polite but not reciprocate. I didn't think I was leading her on because I was pretty much avoiding her, so these sorts of things made me feel a bit uncomfortable. (I asked a relative for advice on how to respond to one such text and I think they are now referring to this person as my "sort of stalker.")
A few months ago this person invited me to a game night--this is while I was dating someone, and my girlfriend couldn't come with me, so there was no way I was going to that thing alone. I said something like "sorry, won't make it, please say hi to everyone in the ward for me" and she responded "oh, I didn't invite the ward, it would have just been you and me and my family." Awkward. I'm not sure if she knew for sure I was dating someone but my gf was someone from her ward, so I'm guessing yes... if I was interested in her I think I'd be flattered by the forwardness, but I'm not, so it just makes me really uncomfortable.
So the most recent interaction involved her sending me a message out of the blue that basically said something like "I know you're probably dating someone, but I just have to say this. I think you're cute and I like you." Um. After much deliberation, I just responded back with a lame "[Name], I think you're great, but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship. Sorry." She then responded with something like "That's fine; I'm not ready for a relationship either, but I just needed to say that." I had no idea to respond to THAT, and so I didn't.
Question time!
1. Would there have been a more appropriate way to handle turning her down, in your opinion?
2. What stories do you have about your most or least polite dating turn-downs? (On either the giving or receiving end.)
So, there's a young lady I home-taught a few years ago in my old ward. I kind of got vibes that she was interested in me, but the feeling wasn't mutual so I made sure to keep things "professional."
Fast-forward to when I've moved to another town, about a half-hour's drive away. I used to occasionally make appearances at my old ward's activities. I never contact this girl or vice-versa, but about once every 5 or 6 months, I'll get a text or Facebook message from her completely out of the blue that starts off with something like "how's it going?" and then gets a bit flirtier (like "You don't have a girlfriend right now? But you're so awesome! You must be teasing me.") I tried to be polite but not reciprocate. I didn't think I was leading her on because I was pretty much avoiding her, so these sorts of things made me feel a bit uncomfortable. (I asked a relative for advice on how to respond to one such text and I think they are now referring to this person as my "sort of stalker.")
A few months ago this person invited me to a game night--this is while I was dating someone, and my girlfriend couldn't come with me, so there was no way I was going to that thing alone. I said something like "sorry, won't make it, please say hi to everyone in the ward for me" and she responded "oh, I didn't invite the ward, it would have just been you and me and my family." Awkward. I'm not sure if she knew for sure I was dating someone but my gf was someone from her ward, so I'm guessing yes... if I was interested in her I think I'd be flattered by the forwardness, but I'm not, so it just makes me really uncomfortable.
So the most recent interaction involved her sending me a message out of the blue that basically said something like "I know you're probably dating someone, but I just have to say this. I think you're cute and I like you." Um. After much deliberation, I just responded back with a lame "[Name], I think you're great, but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship. Sorry." She then responded with something like "That's fine; I'm not ready for a relationship either, but I just needed to say that." I had no idea to respond to THAT, and so I didn't.
Question time!
1. Would there have been a more appropriate way to handle turning her down, in your opinion?
2. What stories do you have about your most or least polite dating turn-downs? (On either the giving or receiving end.)